this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 92 points 7 months ago (2 children)

"Why do they say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built when it's obviously just big bricks in a triangle?" - Philomena Cunk

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago

"Romans: Perfected or Invented? Anal Bleaching."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I had just posted that Cunk did it better haha

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[–] [email protected] 92 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

lmao. There was some show I saw, I think it was on the History Channel. They were at some river in the South and they spent the entire episode with some guy who insisted that there was a giant 10-foot catfish in the river (maybe multiple giant catfish? I can't remember), and that the catfish was responsible for the various pets and occasional people who went missing and were never found. They went off and talked with ichthyologists who talked about limits on catfish sizes, and I forget who else, exploring all the edge cases which might allow a giant ten foot catfish to live in the river. And at the end of the episode, they're talking to the guy again, going over their findings that it's possible, theoretically at least, that at a very very edge case, this giant catfish might exist, and the guy was like, "I knew it! Everyone around here keeps sayin' it's the alligators, but I jes' knew it was th' catfish!"

[–] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago (2 children)

All an idiot needs is the teeniest tiniest iota of plausibility and all their preconceived notions are true and correct in their mind.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Confirmation bias, it’s the new drug.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Of all the "crypto" type stories out there, the giant fish ones are the ones I'm most inclined to believe. Unlike a lot of other categories, there's actually hard evidence for us pulling giant fish out of the water.

If the Detroit River can harbor sturgeon approaching 7ft long in this day and age, I'm not about to totally shoot down anyone's fish story.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think you mean cryptid fyi.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No, I'm uhm verifying my Bigfoot report integrity with blockchain.

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 7 months ago (5 children)

The wheel part reminds me of something I learned from 3blue1brown:

"Pi seems to magically appear everywhere, until you realize that wherever it appears there is usually a circle hiding"

Usually. Sometimes it really does seem magical. Sometimes the circle is very well hidden. Maybe we just haven't found it yet.

Honestly I've learned more math from that guy than any math teacher I ever had - one of the few YouTube channels I would absolutely recommend to anyone scientifically inclined at all. He's an incredible explainer.

Blow your mind with the video where he calculates pi through the repeated elastic collision of a pair of blocks... One digit at a time. If that sounds bizarre - yeah, watch the video.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Pi in the normalizing factor of the normal distribution was a surprise to me

But it is in fact due to circles hiding very well.

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[–] [email protected] 58 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

We want to think it's aliens or some shit because we want to believe that we are super evolved and intelligent and every civilization before America was invented was composed of cavemen.

Ancient people were super intelligent. Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth with remarkable accuracy. Today's most commonly used calendar in the western world, the Gregorian calendar, derives from the Julian calendar which in turn is derived from the ancient Egyptian calendar, which predates the Julius calendar by millennia and was impressively accurate as well (it loses only one day every four year), and that one has roots in Mesopotamian astronomy. For years our ancestors harvested herbs and plants to heal diseases and wounds. "Cavemen" were building megalithic temples in Malta thousands of years ago.

Just because they didn't have Facebook and plastic bags, doesn't mean that they were stupid.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I don't doubt that this is a factor, but it's not like the phenomenon is limited to just ancient inventions by non-white ethnicities.

I've definitely heard people saying that microwave ovens, very much not ancient tech, very much invented in America by a white person, were actually salvaged alien tech from crashed UFOs.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago (4 children)

The history channel's take, as well as others, that ancient civilizations could not have accomplished what they accomplished on their own, and therefore it's aliens is peak Right-wing cope.

"Obviously those backwards non-white civilizations couldn't have accomplished this on their own, because of their skin color. So therefore, the obvious solution is that they accomplished it because a hyper-intelligent space-fairing civilization took notice of their existence and arbitrarily decided to help them. This makes much more sense." - Thought process of the utterly deranged.

Genuinely the only reason this smooth brain take is so popular is because its been echoed in media as an admittedly fun story-telling mechanism. But that's all it is, a story. To put this on the history channel and claim it's history is just one of the reasons why the History Channel has had their reputation sink in the past 20 years.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (3 children)

The racism of UFO conspiracies gets worse the deeper you go. For instance, it is a common belief that there are multiple races of aliens, but the really “good” ones are either the “Nordics” or the “Tall Whites.” They are generally described as being tall, white, blonde-haired and blue eyed.

Example: https://eightify.app/summary/computer-science-and-technology/exploring-encounters-with-nordic-e-ts-tall-whites-key-to-our-existence

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Lmao that just sounds like regular terrestrial racism

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[–] andrew_bidlaw 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm more surprised with their logistics (documented) and the amount of slave labor (suspected) that needs to build these tombstones just to burry a dude, and sacrifice many people, animals, resources alongside them (discovered). Their fucking ego is of inhumane proportions. Maybe it's better to believe in aliens than imagining this dick measuring contest of dead fuckers that probably killed way more people than their average wars. Pharaohs are the ultimate bastards. Instead of a damaged Sphinx, I'd love if someone punched off their noses instead.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (9 children)

Pyramids weren't built by slaves, but there's certainly class warfare going on in other ways. Egypt had a lot of farmers sitting around while the Nile was in its flood stage, and they appear to have paid them to work on monuments. Still, it's a lot of work to feed the ego of one ruler.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Something can't just be mildly amusing or funny, dude has to cry laugh for 5 whole minute.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (13 children)

Alien conspiracy theories about the Egyptian or Mayan Pyramids, the statues on Easter Island, the Nazca Lines, etc also have the implicit racist undertone of "well it's not like the actual humans from those primitive and backwards cultures could build it!" Basically, non-white people built something too advanced and white people don't like that.

By comparison, we never see alien conspiracy theories for mediaeval castles and cathedrals. No TV show is saying "so you're telling me that a bunch of serfs who couldn't read and didn't know basic arithmetic could build a castle? Nah they were too primitive it was probably aliens."

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

This is such an absurd take. There's people in Europe who believe that Europe's megalithic structures were built during the time of Atlantis and devote their whole existence to proving it, just to give one example. And of course, Stonehenge, neolithic Europes intergalactic landing site/astronomical calendar/astral energy power plant.

Megalithic structures like the Baalbek stones or Göbekli Tepe from preliterate times are aweinspiring enough to get anyone's imagination going, it's that simple. And some people then have a hard time distinguishing their imaginings from reality. They seem impossibly large and their purpose and methods of construction are lost to time, so it's easy to come up with fanciful ideas to fill in the blanks. Sure, we now have decent theories of how the pyramids were built, but that weren't always the case.

Castles and cathedrals were built too recently for even the wildest of wild brains to believe they weren't built by humans.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It also implies aliens are dumb as dirt.

"Hey Xorglib, what did you do on your vacation to Earth? Did you teach them how to cure diseases? Or maybe advance their technology by a millennium or two?"

"Oh. Ummm...I helped them move some stones into a giant 3D triangle to immortalize their god emperor. And that was it."

"Asshole."

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

We do see Stonehenge included in ancient alien theories sometimes though.

[–] JamesStallion 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

People say the exact same things about Stonehenge.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (5 children)

And just like that, that long ass comment about how it’s actually racism is deflated.

Jesus fucking Christ sometimes it’s not racism.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

Remember one about the inca or something, and they said that there was no way they could cut perfectly fitting stone bricks for their walls, so it must have been aliens or something

Except maybe they just ground out the imperfections after excavating the stone, the exactly the way European masons did.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Utter nonsense. The reason alien conspiracy theories don't exist about castles and cathedrals is because the construction of these buildings was almost always very well documented and in many cases these documents still exist today. As far as I know there are no testimonies on the construction of the Egyptian and Mayan pyramids other than the structures themselves.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (2 children)

But there were? Just off the top of my head you have Deir al-Medina, which is the village were the workers assigned to the tombs in the valley of kings were assigned to (not exactly the pyramids, but similar enough). We have records of how they complained about bad working conditions and missing supplies, which were usually promptly dealt with because of the importance of the tombs to royal ideology.

Also: what about the texts literally in the pyramids that describe how they were being built and by whom (at least by whom further up in the hierarchy)? It's not like those aren't texts because they're not written in the Latin alphabet. Archaeologists did not, in fact, make up how pyramids/tombs were constructed.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

They stacked things on top of other things? Must be aliens!

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Miniminuteman archeology basically dedicates his channel to debunking this crazy shit. He has even brought in other archeologists if he finds out he got something wrong. It's a great channel.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

que ominous music

Did Leonardo da Vinci possess secret knowledge of the Great Pyramid's builders which he encoded into his Vitruvian Man?!

Or y'know... they boths mathed.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Just a friendly correction: it's cue. Que is 'what' in Spanish.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Even if you don't use a wheel, if you do enough geometry Pi is bound to appear eventually

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

aliens could definitely build upside down they have the technology

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (5 children)

How do you measure things with wheels?

[–] [email protected] 59 points 7 months ago (5 children)

Like if this side must be exactly 34 wheel revolutions long, you put a dent on the side of your wheel, you roll it in a straight line, and when your dent touches the ground for the 34th time, you just measured a length with a wheel.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh. Duh. My brain decided not to work today.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

Happens to all of us, friend.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

And the cool part is that you don't even need to measure the length of the wheel if you know the radius because you can do ✨MATHS✨

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

You mark a point on the circumference and then make the wheel roll in the direction you want to measure while counting the times the mark passes the floor.

[–] Timecircleline 12 points 7 months ago (4 children)

You roll it and count how many times you rolled it. Like how an odometer works in your car.

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[–] JohnDClay 10 points 7 months ago

History for Granite has some great videos on the construction methods of the pyramids. Fron how the casing stones were cut to size, to trying to figure out where the construction ramps would have been. Very interesting channel.

https://youtube.com/@HistoryforGRANITE

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