562
submitted 7 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 132 points 7 months ago

I know it's a joke but if this was a man posting a dildo with the same text he'd get flamed

[-] [email protected] 122 points 7 months ago

If it was a bar of soap moulded into a cock though we'd probably be seeing a pretty similar post

[-] [email protected] 53 points 7 months ago

Rubbing soap on your dick is safe though.

Sticking soap up your snizz is how you get an infection.

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[-] [email protected] 48 points 7 months ago

Idk man, fucking a bar of soap, clearly on the reg , and leaving it for the world to see is a bit different. Plus I feel like most dildo users have the presence of mind to put that shit up when they're done.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

My ex would disagree as she'd leave hers lying out even when we had company over.

We were both also very mental unwell so that could be a part of it

[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

That was made that way for the joke. How would you even begin fucking a flat bar of soap? Even pre-drilled, it would wear out too fast to be any fun.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

For the 4th time (I'm an idiot) I got serious dick issues. Don't know if it dries the skin out or what, but the end gets hypersensitive, turns dark red, skin turns black and peels off, hurts like hell, and then you get nice, new pink skin. It's painful and revolting and takes about a week for the whole process.

Thought was just me until I saw a reddit post a few months back. LOTS of dudes experiencing the same exact thing.

Don't use conditioner guys!!!

[-] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

What in the bed bath and beyond is this shit

[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

Would you mind choosing a verb other than "use" so I know what in God's name I shouldn't be doing with conditioner?

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

If the context didn't provide, I meant jacking off. Paddling the pink canoe. Abusing the wicked stick. Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger. Shaking hands with the milkman. Boxing the one-eyed champ. Taking the self-guided tour.

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[-] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

If this were a woman posting a dildo she’d get flamed. Use sex toys all you want, but don’t fuck soap, it’s ironically unsanitary

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[-] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

A shower dildo left there to be found? No.. that'd be fuckin weird too

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[-] [email protected] 123 points 7 months ago

Stupid. This dude has the cleanest dick in the country.

"Eew this penis is too clean to go inside my body" that's what this whiny bitch sounds like.

No, they totally SHOULD leave. They are clearly too filthy for this CLEAN KING.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

"yeah baby you like my baby smooth dick?"

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[-] [email protected] 87 points 7 months ago

Hey, at least you can be sure it's clean.

[-] [email protected] 63 points 7 months ago

He'd end up disappointed that her pussy doesn't bubble during sex, anyway.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

Whoever your point of reference is, tell them to go to the doctor.

[-] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 61 points 7 months ago

Because real men wait until marriage to masturbate

[-] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago

I mean, it just never occured to me to drill a hole in a bar of soap, lotion and Palmela Handerson work just fine.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

That's funny. We say Manuela in Spanish because "mano" means hand

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[-] [email protected] 36 points 7 months ago

That’s just a handhold so you don’t drop it

[-] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago
[-] [email protected] 20 points 7 months ago
[-] CCF_100 17 points 7 months ago

What a terrible day to have eyes

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[-] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago

“It's a part of me and I can wash it however fast I like!"

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[-] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago

How else are you suppose to clean it?

[-] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

Look, if there’s a more subtle cock soap, I’m all ears.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

If you're all ears, how would you propose to use the soap?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Perhaps he’s Ferengi?

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

Chill he was just blowing bubbles

[-] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago

He also knows Bubbles? Small world!

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[-] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago

I didn't know that was an option.

[-] [email protected] 18 points 7 months ago

At least it's clean.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Innocent, I'm not that big.

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[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago

Soap is abrasive. His dick fucked up.

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[-] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

His penis will burn from that

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago

Soap on a rope, but slipped off the rope?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

Yeah leave bitch, he clearly doesn't need you

[-] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

Poor dude probably just dug out the prize lol

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

There was a head out alright.

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this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
562 points (97.3% liked)

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