this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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Seriously, "Ensure the CEO sleeps before a certain time"

With all those skills, tasks and resposabilites they're asking for a fucking full-stack babysitter...

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[–] [email protected] 110 points 9 months ago (3 children)

How is a person who can't manage their own meals and bedtime able to manage a company?

[–] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago

As per the post it's a shit coin company; the "CEO" is gonna work at McDonald's in a couple of ~~years~~ months.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago

It's almost like the management class are mainly unproductive parasites who can't wipe their own asses.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Tbf it looks very suspicious, Malaysia, No family, no place of residency, coin something....

This type of jobs do exist but no company would look for this kind of job with so much responsability and access to sensitive information on likedin. Those type of jobs are either internal promotion or head hunted with classified information until later in the interview process

[–] [email protected] 84 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Any chance, that this CEO just got divorced and has no motivation to work and wants you to replace his wife and do his and his wifes tasks?

maid-like tasks as needed

Uhm… so, about that…

[–] ZombiFrancis 52 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The "no family or personal committments" part is even more concerning I think.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is that even legal to state?

[–] ZombiFrancis 7 points 9 months ago

I think as a requirement it wouldn't be an enforceable in a contract, which is why they're referring to it as a preference or suggestion.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

If this is real, someone's bound to do it. Probably pays well, good travel, and basically write what you want on your resume. Just quit before the inevitable sexual harassment starts.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

More likely, Mommy and Daddy cut him off from their staff because of too many payoffs.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 9 months ago (2 children)

"CoinClan"
Yeah, some time in the not so distant future, that paycheck is gonna bounce.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago

But heeeyyyy! You can get paid in their shitcoin that will totally be worth more than an infinitesimal fraction of a cent, just two more weeks!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I'd only consider the position if I could figure out a way to manipulate the CEO into executing a rugpull that I engineered to my benefit...

[–] [email protected] 45 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Starts off reasonable, drives off the cliff of down right crazy, all for the price of a "competitive salary"

[–] [email protected] 44 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is listed as "remote"? How would this even remotely be accomplished if not in person? That CEO is gonna be under CPS soon.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Remote is the "hottest" section of job sites, so stupid companies will list every job under "remote" on the off chance that someone looking for remote work will accept non remote work.

The shittier ones will even tell you its remote up until the interviews, when it will suddenly be "hybrid" remote, i.e not remote.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hybrid 99.9̅% in-office

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

So they basically are getting the CEO job without getting compensated properly since they are "just" PA level. Fantastic.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

Pretty much every PA

[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not just that but it sounds like a trafficking scam. No friends or family: wtaf?!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It weirdly says "remote". 🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

You will be, once they've abducted you.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago

So this guy basically needs a full-time mother.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It mostly reads as "extreme" but fair enough for a very well paid PA with a company credit card until you get to the compensation. Then its idiotic.

This is a job description for 2 people making $100,000 each. Or one insane person who wants to make $200k.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

These are things any able person does for themselves.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ok lets just set aside that this particular job listing is bullshit.

Hypothetically if your rich and travel alot for work its not unreasonable that you might not have time to find a gym and a trainer yourself. Organising the meals isnt unreasonable, if by that you mean finding a chef, making sure the hotels menu is sufficient and so on.

The bed time one sounds like B.S but if you're the kind of person who gets caught up on projects and then realises its 3am, its not ridiculous either.

Like I said, Im pretty sure this listing is for an absolutely insane person. But at least it sets clear expectations.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Most of these can be solved by either setting an alarm or reading.

Nobody this helpless is staying up until 3 AM doing anything useful.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How many times do I have to qualify that I dont think this is someone who is legit?

Personal Assistants exist so that people who have the means (probably not this guy) dont have to do mundane shit like remember to set alarms and if they are willing to adequately compensate someone for that level of work (which this twit isnt) then go for it.

If I won the lottery, Id have a housekeeper and a lawn guy because although I now dont have anything better to do, I still dont want to do that shit.

If someone wants to offer me $200k a year to handle all his mundane shit and water his bonsai with EXACTLY 30ml of water every 2 days my response would be "Tap, filtered or demineralised?" not "why dont you do it your fucking self?"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

housekeeper, lawn guy, bug guy, handyman. (basically a residence team for each of my properties as I might travel often). nutritional team, personal training team, and a traveling personal assistant.

doctors on retainer too.

what else am I missing?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

CEOs are a special breed of narcissist. They can't feel important unless they know someone else is essentially sacrificing his or her or their life for a self-important douchenozzle.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)
  • Ensure that the CEO is burped after every meal.
  • Make a nappy check on CEO every half hour and change accordingly.
  • Provide the entertainment in the form of peek-a-boo and "got your nose" games.
  • Put CEO in bed ahead of schedule in the case of late evening temper tantrums.
[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Just missing "Make sure to wipe promptly so as to avoid rashes". Fucking hell.