this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 74 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Where do I become a holy fool?

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago

Your local church

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Right? Like does it come with good benefits and a 401k match too? I mean I'm already sold but the highwayman job is quite lacking in that space. Asking for a friend

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

Have you seen those televangelists? They make fucking bank.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I didn't realize train robber was still an option

[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

An entire life of shennigans and mischief wasted, I COULDA ROBBED TRAINS?!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Also coulda been robbing banks with an avocado, but like me you've been mooching around like a goddamn chump....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"All warfare is based […]"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

“Anything can be a weapon if you try hard enough”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Why do you think public transportation is popular with the youth?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well the goods have become larger and heavier, you'll probably need to kidnap the train before you can rob it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I suppose I could utilize a larger train to kidnap the train

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

It was never NOT an option.

We do still have trains, don't we?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 11 months ago (4 children)

"I wanna be TikTok when I grow up."

"You want to make content for TikTok?"

"No! I want to be the app!"

[–] Bread 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It sounds stupid, but kids are stupid. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a police car. Not a cop, the car. Sometimes dreams need to stay dreams.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well, have you ever seen a police car break any laws? Your dream was great, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[–] Bread 6 points 11 months ago

I appreciate it, but I changed course and switched to IT. I grew up to be a server rack now and it has been great!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Never give up on your dream, it might just be possible with enough cybernetics and plastic surgery! The future is now!

[–] Bread 1 points 10 months ago

I can't remember, but do the cars eat at any point? What do they eat?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

As a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"I want children to be addicted to touching my body with their grubby little hands"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

A few Catholic priests, salivating, enters the chat.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Up yours, woke moralists! We'll see who cancels who

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Cancellation incoming

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Just the stuff thats visible here is already more than 100% lol

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago

Which is why you don't see "mathematician" on the list.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Maybe some kids want multiple jobs

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No one wants two jobs, but the kids these days know they'll need it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Many kids would like to be a teacher on Monday, an astronaut on Tuesday, a veterinarian on Wednesday, ....

But I guess here the demographic is a little older than my example so it might not apply

[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Woke moralist. The destroyer of Jordan Peterson.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure that was the benzos

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Woke Moralists and Benzos handshake meme: Destroying Jordan Bitchass Peterson

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Hey fellow kids! Who wants to be a woke moralist, amirite?

(e: I had a son, so I do believe the 11.9% train robber stat, tho)

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Oh no, he’s fine. Poor choice of words; he’s all grown up now is all.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Here's a creation of mine.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I see. I never really got that thing. I guess I'm too old.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Real human bean

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I guess my toddlers aren't main stream then. One wants to be a policefiremantruck and the other a snail tamer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Snail tamer sounds like an amazing job

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Its very dangerous. A feral snail can be more deadly than the monthy python rabbit. The tend to be cool tho

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Dang those kids can spell Beaureaoucrat