this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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[–] jubilationtcornpone 54 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Possibly the cruelest irony of adulthood is that autonomy comes with a shit load of terms and conditions.

For instance, I could eat cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day if I wanted to. But it would result in diabetes, obesity, and eventually death. So yes, theoretically I could do it. But not if I want to live for very long.

Damn shame too because I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookies.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

Diabetes and obesity in the long term, heartburn and indigestion in the short term.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago

With great power and all that

[–] DJKJuicy 5 points 4 days ago

It's brutal, isn't it?

When you realize that your parents also wanted to eat cookies and Ruffles all the time too, but they didn't want to die early and are just making you eat healthy so you don't die early.

Ugh...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Unless you're metabolically lucky. I've been eating whatever I want for decades, and I'm in excellent health and never get fat. In fact I just had a checkup this morning lol. Just random genetics. I shouldn't gloat but it's fucking awesome!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

I must hate you now. Sorry, dems the rulez!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

You sound like this "Unless you are just built different. I've been smoking a pack a day for decades and I'm in excellent health. Maybe I should start smoking twice as much."

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

It is nice but we still bloat 😞 stupid summer and my sexy tummy

[–] CaptDust 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I always wanted to grow up so I could eat ice cream whenever I wanted. Welp, grew up, now my tumtum hurts after one scoop. Life's cruel irony.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

Even if it didn’t, you would get fat because of it, or maybe get diabetes

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

My first realization that I was truly an adult came when I was in the checkout line at Albertsons, saw a stack of freshly made peach pies, and realized I could just buy one and eat the whole thing, cuz I was a grownup. So I did!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Fantastic! I pretty much just ate peach pie all weekend. And also, I've made tons of pies since then but almost always buy peach pie premade, because peeling and slicing those slippery suckers is a bitch.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sounds good. I'm going to LA in November peach pie and cobbler are on the must eat list we don't have anything like that in the UK

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Interesting. I didn't even know cobbler was an American thing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I remember reading about it in books as a kid, never had it IRL so I'm actually going to live out a childhood dream

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

LOL it's super simple, you can actually make it very easily. Anyway I hope it lives up to your expectations. Best way to eat peach cobbler is with vanilla ice cream on top.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Thanks for the pro tip!

[–] iAmTheTot 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Not if you're trying to care about your health! Dieting is haaaard.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (2 children)

'Whenever I want' doesn't mean every day.

[–] iAmTheTot 11 points 5 days ago

It does if you want cookies every day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

who doesn't want cookies every day

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Me!

Too often and they lose the magic.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Wait till you have the epiphany that you can just bake your own cookies and that it's not that much of a hassle at all. 🍪👨‍🍳

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Many moons ago, I worked as a realtor, and one of the "tricks" of the trade was to bake cookies before an open house. It makes the house smell great, and you get to give out snacks. It really shattered my internal concept of baking cookies, because I could buy pre-cut cookie dough and a cookie sheet on my way to a house and make delicious, warm cookies in 20 minutes while wearing a suit. No apron, no cleanup, just an increasingly tight pair of suit pants.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Yep. Though the rolls of cookie dough are too tempting to just...eat lol. I buy the cookie mix which is a bit cheaper and doesn't need refrigerated; a bit messier to prepare though.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Strong agreement on the dough being too tempting as it is. I tried to convince my wife that opened packages of cookie dough will sublimate in the fridge, but she didn't believe me. And the mixes are great for keeping a variety of cookie flavors in the cupboard, without keeping actual cookies in the house.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Saving this as a career plan “B”

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago (12 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago

What really grinds my gears is I could have done it when I was young and not suffered any physical consequences. If I do it now I get fat er

[–] Grandwolf319 9 points 5 days ago

Yes but mom gets replaced with guilt and adult responsibility.

And you can’t hide from them as easily.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

Idk. Personally I've always loved being an adult. The bullshit comes from the world not from me

[–] DasFaultier 7 points 5 days ago

Also, fried bacon!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Thanks for reminding me to eat some cookies with the coffee I just made so I could eat some cookies.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

I love how easy it is to just make cookies yourself too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The other day, I had ginger cookies smothered in mascarpone for dinner.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

That sounds like heaven

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago

Yeah, that way lies diabetes. For some of us.

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