jubilationtcornpone

Getting solid returns on his investment right about now.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a lathe is a good guy with a lathe.

That book is just full of liberal talking points.

Something for poor people to worry about.

I've read theories that part of the... let's call it "general cognitive decline" among certain populations in the US is due to widespread chronic lead poisoning. I don't know if any studies have ever been done but it kind of makes sense on the surface. If paint and fuel contained lead, it would have been nearly impossible to avoid exposure to it.

I can think of two reasons.

First reason: because things can and probably will get much better. Joy in life comes from the little things. That sounds cliche but it's true. If I could talk to my 14 year old self, who was severely depressed to the point of trying (and thankfully failing) to take his own life, I would tell him about the next 20-ish years. Even though much of it will be hard, it will still be good. And he will grow in ways and get to experience things that he can't even begin to imagine. That's one thing I'm glad he failed at.

Second reason: because believe it or not, you will leave a giant crater in the life of someone (or multiple someones) where you once existed. My great grandpa hung himself in 1929. That's all I know about him aside from his name. I never met my grandpa (died of cancer) but I remember my dad telling me a little about the impact it had on his dad, who was about 15 at the time of his father suicide. Long story short, my grandpa basically stopped growing emotionally at 15. He was a teenager who was very suddenly thrust into the role of an adult.

I don't know what was going on with my great grandpa that led him to take his own life. I do know that what he left behind was a disaster. Including three generations of trauma, manifesting itself as a cycle of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. He effectively destroyed his children who proceeded to pass that destruction all the way down to me.

If you've never watched Ted Lasso which I highly recommend, one of overarching themes is Ted's difficulty dealing with his father's suicide, which occured when Ted was 15. It's a light hearted show overall but there are a few scenes that really hit right in the feels.

Even if you don't have kids, there are people who's lives will be permanently altered for the worse by your untimely death. Some will blame themselves, wondering what they could have done to prevent it.

Me: "My kid has a learning disability. Can you give her some reasonable accommodations?"

My Kids School: "But does she really though?"

Me: "Uh, yeah. She has a diagnosis. From a psychiatrist. Also, you have noticed her grades are abysmal, right?"

School: "They're not that bad. She's actually doing pretty well."

Me: "She has mostly D's and F's. Is that seriously what you consider 'pretty well'?"

School: "..."

I'm doing some major paraphrasing but this is the gist of actual conversations with my daughters school administration. I'm not saying I believe it's very likely that someone could graduate without being able to read and write. I'm just saying that in some school districts, there's a greater than zero percent chance of that happening.

The "DECLASSIFIED" watermark on the cover is just the cherry in top.

Nobody: ...

My dog: "MOTHERFUCKER I KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND! HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE ON MY... oh wait. I guess that noise just came from my own butt and not some scary dog eating demon. Nevermind. My bad."

My other dog: "AAAAAAHHHHH! DONT HURT ME. PLEEEASASSSSEEE! IM BEGGING YOU! I HAVE A FAMILY! Oh. Oh, you're going to give me pets? I thought you were going to chop me to death with a giant arm shaped machete."

How else are you supposed to keep score? Half the time there's a few spares sitting in the golf cart.

"Best I can do is eliminate half of all life in the universe."