this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
588 points (99.0% liked)

Microblog Memes

8278 readers
2177 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 117 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

The Bible says the exact opposite, saying you shouldn’t be a hard person, but God will turn you into a soft one. Religious people are so stupid sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Unless you're Job. Fuck that guy and his herd animals and wives.

[–] QuantumSparkles 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Don’t forget all his dead kids

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Ugh. You people are so whiny. He got new kids, he's fine. You can barely tell the difference.

[–] Klear 6 points 1 month ago

God is such a prankster XD

[–] kersploosh 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

Some transitions encourage us to be "meek" as well.

[–] DannyBoy 4 points 1 month ago

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

In some translations it's"humble" or "gentle".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah I think if you go back to Genesis you'll see that God pretty clearly wanted a naive vegan nudist roommate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Don’t we all?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Shhh I was trying to be nice

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The show Scrubs sort of changed my perspective on this. Religion has its place as a thing for people to grab on to in order to give them the strength to make it to the next day.

The problem comes when religion is used to oppress others.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

No need for the qualifier. Religion is dumb.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You think these people read the Bible?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If Jesus came back, these dipshits would have him crucified way faster than those nerd ass Romans.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In the U.S. we'd have him deported for being brown and communist/socialist/Marxist or whatever the current trend is to accuse people of.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

He would be called an anti-semite as soon as he criticized the mass murdering of his countrymen in Palestine.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Was Jesus “hard?” Not from what I’ve read. He was a kind, gentle, caring soul who avoided confrontation, never harmed anyone, and preach forgiveness, compassion, and love.

The right wing and their obsession over “manliness” is so pathetic.

[–] IrateAnteater 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Well there was that one time he started flipping tables and whipping people. But that was against grifters selling shit in the temple, so...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah. He lost his temper once but that’s the exception proving the rule.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah, when asking "What would Jesus do?" it's important to remember that extraordinary violence might be one of the answers.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

And chased merchants out of the temple while brandishing a whip and kicking down their tables.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Try right click > open in new tab or something

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

....No? That's literally the exact opposite of what the biblical God expects of men.

Jesus says that men should be compassionate, selfless, giving, and loving. That they should help orphans & widows, the sick & injured, people in prison and even..... foreigners.

Christianity has been invaded & commodified for even more horrific purposes. And I could not be more disappointed in anyone who believes this slop. Because the ones who believe this are the ones who never read the Bible and takes everything at face value.

And a pastor or someone successful claiming to be a "Christian" would never lie! Right? .....RIGHT???

They can no longer discern the wolves from their flock, and God will not have mercy on them.

Hallelujah, holy shit.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Where is the passage where God asked men to be hard?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

When God says "cum before me"

[–] zarkanian 3 points 1 month ago

Probably Genesis 3:17-19. Our society has turned decadent. We have to go back to toiling in the fields, as God intended!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I dunno. Maybe. Have you seen that jacked up Korean Jesus?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

The virgin Mary isn’t gonna be a virgin forever with that kinda talk.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I WANT HIS SAVIOR SEMEN ON MY FACE

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Holy golden shower

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

IF YOU HARD YOU HARD

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Where in the Bible does God command you to be hard in the way the first tweet is suggesting? I know he commands you to be hard in the other way with the line that says "go forth and multiply."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Check his avatar and that pic. Money says tough guy here couldn't hang with my old ass outside at Lowe's for a single shift. He'd stroke out if I strapped 20lbs. to his back, handed him a rifle and marched him down to the creek with me. LOL, he ain't gonna cowboy nothing.

And what in the AI is that cowboy supposed to be doing? Running, uh, fence? Creating a lasso out of, uh, ropey stuff?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

fuck yeah

i wanna fuck your god so hard in the ass his religion becomes a thing of the past.

I wanna go so deep I make Mary blush and weep.

I think you get the point.
like your god who will get the tip. and the shaft. and fingers, ohh about 3 and a half.

wow god fucking jokes write them selves. maybe He is guiding my hand! praise jeebus.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

nothing manlier than animal exploitation and a total disregard for climate change.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Most men I know are doughy as fuck.

Get thee to a gym. Stop eating crap.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Isn't mud pretty soft?

load more comments
view more: next ›