this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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not a metaphor for anything (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by indigosfindings:

imagine if someone just like started addressing you as Dipshit, like youre just talking about your day & they say "no way Dipshit, that's crazy." and then maybe you say to them that you would prefer not to be addressed as Dipshit & their response is "well in my major metropolitan area 'Dipshit' is not considered an insult. im not saying i think youre stupid when i call you Dipshit, i call my mom dipshit all the time" so you say Thats cool but please dont call Me that. and then they just repeat that it's something they say daily, they call all of their best friends & lovers dipshits & are called dipshit in return. "my grandma calls me dipshit at the dinner table, it doesnt mean anything." so you say Yes i understand that your friends & grandma arent bothered by being called Dipshit but i am, & i would prefer if you didnt address me as that. and they say "it's literally not possible for me to stop calling you dipshit, and it's not reasonable for you to ask me to, dipshit." anyway this post is about nothing in particular

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[–] Apytele 31 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

~~one more report and~~ I'm locking this whole mf thread

I'm not reading my way through 200 comments but I'm locking this so I can keep up with whatever you all report.

My Original Comments:

spoilerI understand this is a controversial topic but y'all need to behave your damn selves

The basics are:

  • This is fundamentally a discussion about hurtful language, including slurs. I don't mind them being mentioned / referenced (in fact I would argue it's important to talk about them), but I'm not going to tolerate them being directed at people. This is y'alls final warning on that. I've removed some comments already but after this I'm just going to start handing out bans.
  • I know there's alternate interfaces for Lemmy, but on the basic version I'm familiar with, under each comment there is a button on the left end of the bar of buttons with three dots and a little arrow indicating additional options. If you press it, you will find that you have the option to "block" other users. This function will make it so that you no longer have to see anything they post or interact with them. This is a fantastic feature that I highly recommend utilizing in the event that someone says something you find upsetting that does not break the rules of this comm or instance.

Please review this educational material for additional instruction if you are still having difficulty with these concepts.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)

As an Australian, what the fuck us this cunt talking about

[–] OneWomanCreamTeam 7 points 4 days ago

As a trans woman, I've heard this argument used when people want to call me "Bro" or "man". It would probably apply to a number of common slurs too, such as "retard".

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This is obviously about Australians calling their mates "cunts".

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 days ago (15 children)

I’m personally kind of reminded of how “faggot” and “dyke” are being “taken back” and used jokingly/sarcastically, but I still get really uncomfortable if someone uses them with me. They’ll say “oh I don’t mean it offensively!” But it’s not really up to you to decide what’s offending another person or not.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I once had someone tell me very very earnestly that the word Queer - a word I literally marched under in protest - was the worst most horrible slur ever, then turn around and use fruit.

Baby comm members need naptime methinks

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Some older folks have a genuine visceral reaction to “queer” because, whether it’s been taken back or not, you can’t just psychologically undo a lifetime of that word having been weaponized against you.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yeah, it's like people say "Please don't call me that," and instead the person who called them that hears "You did something wrong for calling me that," and they get defensive. It's one of those things that, once you notice, you'll see it everywhere. Not just about nicknames. It could be anything. It's like no matter what you say in response they just view it like you're angry or saying they're a bad person. "I know you didn't mean anything by it, but I don't like it and would prefer that you didn't." Nope. Some folks just can't comprehend it. "I know other people are okay with it. I'm not saying you should stop calling them that." Nope! Their ego is now in defense mode lol.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 5 days ago (17 children)

Ok, but what is it about?

[–] [email protected] 131 points 5 days ago (3 children)

OP is a native of Albany, NY, where everybody refers to hamburgers as steamed hams, even when it comes to their patented family recipes. This is for when OP must meet with other people who are not familiar with the regional dialect, even those from Utica, and are preparing for an unforgettable luncheon.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago (8 children)

And they call them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?

[–] Firoaren 8 points 5 days ago

Uh well you see -- Y'know, the thing is --

Excuse me

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 5 days ago (2 children)

the way i interpreted it is that it's about the "but dude/man/bro is gender neutral!" thing, when someone expresses that they don't like being referred to using masculine terms

[–] [email protected] 56 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I do actually call my mom bro, but if like, a friend or coworker said "don't call me that" I just wouldn't do it.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 days ago

Yeah, I definitely see those as contextually non-gendered, but the moment someone asks me not to call them a certain thing.... I just don't call them that again, and apologize if I do. It takes almost 0 effort to use a different word.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

I call my husband bro, and while he is a dude, he’s definitely not my brother (also he calls me bro and I’m a woman ish).

But yeah, talking to people in a way they dislike is making the world unhappier for no reason.

[–] southsamurai 42 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (6 children)

Edit: this is tangential to the real point of the post, which is just to not call people things they don't like.

Bro is harder to argue for sure.

And man, unless it's more, "oh man, that's rough" as an excalamatory rather than "good to see you man" is still gendered.

But dude has never been gendered. It was mostly used by guys towards guys, but the origins of that usage (rather than dude ranches or the derogatory term related to that) it was applied to everyone. Dudette came along later but was essentially created because the usage was male dominated, not because dude was gendered. It's one of the rare gender neutral, inclusive slang terms. So much so that when dudette was thrown around, it got rejected as unnecessary, and was sometimes taken offensively. Same with dudina and dudess.

Mind you, the era where it was mostly an underground slang used in African American circles is murkier, since it was underground, less written at the time, and after it got "borrowed" by white kids lost its popularity there.

But when surfer culture picked it up, and it spread via movies, female surfers were called dude, and used it the same way as female surfers. They were just such a minority that the association didn't stick in pop culture because what got seen was Spicoli, and the association with it as being used by guys about guys got absorbed as the primary usage.

There was no gender division in that origin, nor was there a need for it. There simply wasn't a female specific alternative to dude.

Since it is still used inclusively far more than it isn't, it's usually better to assume the best rather than the worst. Someone duding someone in a casual and friendly way is unlikely to be using it as a gendered term. It's more like buddy, or pal, or even mate than something like bro that started gendered and is still predominantly used that way.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I think that your intentions are good, but you're missing the point. If someone doesn't like what you're calling them, just don't call them that. I don't think if someone was called dude and didn't like it, that they would assume the worst, they would just ask you to please not call them that.

[–] southsamurai 20 points 5 days ago

Sure, I probably should have specified I was going on a tangent rather than commenting on the post directly. Gonna edit that in. Thank you :)

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 days ago
  • Slurs in general
  • Misgendering
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago

Generally being nice to other people is a good thing. It makes the world a nicer place for everyone. And in cases like this, it seems like it is pretty easy to be nice - just don't call that person 'dipshit'. That just seems like a very low-cost way to show the person that you respect them.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 days ago (3 children)

New response if TERFism:

"Ok dipshit"

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

"Is it possible to learn this allegory?"

"Not from the Daily Wire."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago (7 children)

It’s like when I lived in Miami and everyone called me “gringo” or “flaco.” When I asked them to stop they would say it was endearing. But imagine if I called them “removed” or “fatty” what their reaction would be.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Reminds me of Nelson Piquet, a former F1 driver, calling Lewis Hamilton a Neguinho when he was talking about current day F1 drivers in an interview. He called every driver by their name except Hamilton. Then Piquet and his brother ofcourse went with the “that’s how we always call each other even my grandma calls me that” defense

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago

"Could you call me something else, other than Dipshit?"
"Like what?"
"How about sunrise land?"

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 days ago (11 children)

It's a very interesting take that really makes you look at things from a different perspective, but it kinda breaks down if you think about it. If this person really was saying it like a pronoun with no offense intended, and they were using it to refer to half of everyone they spoke to, and it was how other people referred to that person themself too, then it would quickly seem fine to me. If everyone is calling people dipshit all the time then it quickly becomes nothing to care about

[–] starman2112 23 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I disagree. If I don't like being called dispshit, the thing to do is not call me dipshit. Your intent stops mattering the moment you know how I prefer to be referred to and actively decline to respect it.

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[–] southsamurai 24 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Yeah, it's kinda like cunt with aussies and brits.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (8 children)

You could say intent matters.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago

We started calling my wife's narcissistic psychopathic Russian ex dipshit because we got tired of having to use his name. Now I barely remember his name, it's just dip shit

Then one day she got tired of his crap, beat the shit out of him, so now we just call him dip

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago

I thought this was a post about the overuse of “dude”

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago (3 children)

You can call me a dumbass all you want, it's part of the reason I chose this name, besides being a dumbass.

[–] pipes 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Whatever you say, smartass

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago

Well now I'm offended!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/metaphor-vs-allegory-explained

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