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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.
Which scenario is better?
The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.
We call that doing lines around these parts.
A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.
Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I'm pretty sure it's better to spread it out.
Nutritionally, it's terrible either way.
I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you're still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.
There's a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better ... but it's so close to just eating sugar I expect you'd absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.
Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.
Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.
Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.
So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.
So do a line after you dine?
As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(
What about Canadian off-brand? Is that a thing? Like at Canadamart or Tim Horton's or wherever y'all shop?
technically it's an off off brand because Oreos themselves are an off brand
True, but Hydrox is also American, so no dice.
darn :(, I tried
Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.
Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.
That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.
Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.
But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.
One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.
It turns your poop black.
Yup :)
I've had to clean up oreo poop lol.
A lot of older patients tend to get a "sweet tooth", and they'll go nuts on cookies and cakes.
Oreo poops aren't the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.
Its better not to eat entire bag of Oreo in one day but if you must then its better to spread it over the day to avoid creating large sugar spike in your body.
You also won't upset your stomach as much if you spread it out.
I don't think this is true unless you're diabetic.
For non-diabetics insulin will store all the glucose just fine. Even if you have an elevated level for several hours I don't think that's particularly problematic to your health. It's problematic to diabetics because their levels are elevated perpetually.
I've solved that problem by buying two bags. One to eat all at once. And one to spread out over the rest of the day.
Smash them up and dump the crumbs into a glass. Now it's a drink and no longer subject to the tyrannical nutritional guidelines of the medical establishment, leaving you free to consume it as you please.
Or grind it into fine dust and sprinkle it into your tobacco, stupid!
More enjoyment if you spread it out over the whole day, plus you won't barf. You might shit liquid, but y'know, lesser evil I'd say.
Eat em all at once. Right before your appointment at the dentist to have your teeth cleaned
Oh, we must.
If I had to choose between those options, I’d eat them slowly throughout the day.
But in reality, it’s two sittings: one row in the afternoon, and the rest at the unhealthiest of times, around 9pm.
No good story has ever started with, "I ate a bag of oreos over the course of a whole day. "
If you are intermittent fasting, then eat in one 30 minute window. If not, no fucking idea.
U bastard. U just reminded me I have a KitKat to eat. Do I eat the entire thing or spread it over the day?
Better to eat it at once. Your system can work away the high blood sugar level and then go back to normal.
If you create high blood sugar again and again, it is stressful for your pancreas all day long. Do that often and you will get overweight, and then diabetes.
This is my eternal struggle, with any type of biscuit.
I try to not eat the whole pack in one day, so eat some then close the pack. But inevitability I go back later and finish the rest!
It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.
oh i don't plan on pooping.
Oreo’s have had all their flavor sucked out of them through enshitification—and to make you eat more to feel satisfied.
Go to any grocery store (like TJ’s) and just buy “Sandwich Cookies.” THEY taste like Oreos used to.
(But, you have to eat them fast as they degrade quickly like actual food, something Oreos isn’t.)
Just commenting to say I love this question and the genuine attempts at answers. I'm going to ask a dietitian next chance I get
In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.
You're eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you're going to treat yourself, I'd say make sure to make it count.
Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That's how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.
If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they're not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you're done eating them.
Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.
Scrape off all the cream and eat a bowlful of that, then snack on the burnt cookies the rest of the day.
All else being equal, spread out so not to induce a sugar rush/diabetic shock.
I’d probably barf if I ate the whole pack in one sitting. Or at least feel like I would.
I love that the question doesn't specify what "better" means, and we're all interpreting it in our own ways. Healthier? More enjoyable?
Better to not buy dry stale cookies.
All at once so you can repeat it during the entire day.
So the question seems to be answered at this point, but on a related note, does anyone else hate that fucking packaging? It never really seals properly, and accessing the cookies on the outer rows is difficult. If you try to reseal it often and make it last a while they fucking go stale.