this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
402 points (97.6% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 139 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Shrimp > blockchain. Can't disagree with him there.

For that matter, shit is better than blockchain. Because at least shit is good for manure.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Blockchain is the perfect solution to none of life's problems

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (2 children)

crypto currency is actually very useful when you need to buy meds that states dont want you to have. i dont know if blockchain is the best way to implement decentralized currencies (proof of work blockchain definitely isnt) but its what we got rn

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

To put it another way: Crypto is great for crime. Like I get that criminalizing stuff like HRT is bullshit, but...

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

but what? be gay, do crime. legality has nothing to do with ethicality. dont support oppression and hegemonie!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do crime? But what if I wanted to be President of the United States one day, surely there is some rule about having a criminal record?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Buying drugs on the dark web

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

I immediately took a look at the date. When I saw 2021, I said "Of course"

[–] stringere 8 points 2 months ago

you wouldn't download a shrimp

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I know a guy who bought a plot of almost worthless land an hour out of town fenced jt and bought a bunch of goats. We all thought he was insane.

10 years later he is retired at 40 because it turns out that certain communities will pay very good money for organic free range goat.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's multiple avenues how you can increase your wealth, if you have investment capital, and nothing goes wrong.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, I also know a goat farmer in my neighborhood.
In the same 10 years, she faced an expensive lawsuit from someone who wanted her land, an epidemic that destroyed her herd, animals dying from people feeding them the wrong plants through the fence, Covid forcing her to close the farm to visitors, and other hardships.

She's barely out of the woods now, but definitely much worse off than if she had invested the money into stocks.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yup, stocks are almost zero effort and have an expected return of 10-12% long term. Everything else is a job and is dependent on how good you are at managing it.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

If you've got the time and the energy and the stomach to handle birthing and raising live goats, it is very profitable... for the person who got a large low-interest loan to set up the farm. Significantly less so for the people doing the actual agricultural labor.

[–] [email protected] 96 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Anon discovers basic capitalism and lucked into an underserved market.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Isn't this technically just commerce? At least until he does an IPO.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago

No? He's acquiring capital (land, shrimp farm equipment, shromps) and using his labor to create something (more shromps) and selling his product for a profit.

He owns the property, takes the investment risk, and keeps the profits. In theory he's competing in a market with other shrimp sellers but like I said from the sound of it the market is pretty thin so he gets to sell for a huge profit.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anon also doesn't know about all applicable regulations and is yet to be audited by the IRS.
Anon discovered that you can earn money illegally until you're caught.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 17 points 2 months ago

You can also earn money after you're caught, but the protection money will eat most of your profits.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anon gets shut down by the department of agriculture

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Didn't Trump axe that one too?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Unironically why small business goons love voting Republican.

You can brew mutant shrimp in a vat in your garage and take them to a wholesaler in a leaky bag labeled "Wild Caught Magic Beans" then sell them at some absurd markup. When half your customer base gets food poisoning, you blame DEI, throw down a smoke bomb, and run off with your profits.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

And then you realize far too late that stuff like this is strictly regulated and you forgot to comply with all the standards for product safety and hygiene and the state is going to rip your ass so far open that a truck can make a u-turn it it.

[–] Corkyskog 43 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just do it in a red state and buy favor with the governor.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's expensive. My governor is an alfalfa farmer in a desert state where alfalfa is ~1% of GDP and >50% of water use, or something like that. He's already a grifter, so getting my own grift approved is going to be expensive.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Just gotta cut him in on a share of the profits. He’ll be your best friend in that case!

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

not anymore, how long until all that is doged out and we’re back to the jungle

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I tried the same thing with veal farming but little baby cows can't swim so good :|

[–] Ookami38 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Give em a few generations, they'll learn.

[–] Corkyskog 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Now I am just imagining someone breeding cows to get some kind of aquatic cow species. Which would also make a great band name.

[–] Oni_eyes 14 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago

Jesse, we need to produce more Balenciaga

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

In America, just buy a load of chickens and do this with eggs.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Silly goose, everyone knows shrimp is much more valuable than eg--

Heavens to betsy, you're right

[–] stringere 10 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] sugar_in_your_tea 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I've looked into it, unless there's a bird flu epidemic, you're not going to be profitable. It's literally more expensive for me to raise chickens than buy eggs from across the company.

So I guess the solution is to spread bird flu?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Be a true American and send the other farms infected chicken blankets.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The one thing OP is missing is the type of shrimp. Don’t bother with food shrimp. That’s unprofitable! The real money is in fancy aquarium shrimp like these:

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

I have never wanted an aquarium shrimp before, but I think you just found yourself a customer sir!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago

Relevant Mitchell &Webb sketch: Link

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 months ago

I bought all the equipment right from a Chinese seller for Tether

Had me right up until the end. Cryptobros literally do not understand how to do normal banking.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

this is literally the plot of Forrest Gump (the book)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 months ago

This is actually true. A former landlord of mine made a fuck ton of money by farming koi fish in the basement of a warehouse.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Basement Gump

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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