Im sure his side of the story isn't warped to make himself seem like a saint and her a bitch. π
this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2025
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It's /b, the whole thing is probably made up
And it's actually not a wife but a husband.
fake and gay, confirmed
Fake: Anon has a wife
Gay: Anon wears tight clothes
B- but... But what about the points???
I just got out of a relationship and holy fuck that shit is infuriating. Everyone's gotta side curious what happened here.
Also are you the horse from Bojack Horseman? I'm literally watching S1E6 right now.
What is this, a crossover episode?
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(4 replies)
She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn't I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
Fr, she wasn't going to no 5k. She had other plans.
Because Iβm procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
- average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
- average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)
Calculations
- thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
- coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus
So OPβs wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, thatβs still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBOβs Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
same
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
Thatβs a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
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He wanted that for both of them.
He signed both of them up for it. There was a confirmation email and everything.
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If true the wife probably wanted some alone time with her boyfriend and her husband ruined it.
How do people marry each other when they canβt even communicate?
A: People who never experienced it fear loneliness more than they fear death.
B: People change over time, the person you married might not be the same person in 10 years.
Apparently, a lot.
It is weird interacting with those couples too. Sometimes they just play a role with their spouse and have to get away from them to be themselves.
They are as miserable as it sounds.
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Why would OP's wife not just sign herself up if she was going to run? Or realise something was off when her partner told her that they'd done it for her. "Hello, I'd like to sign my wife up for this run. Oh no, I won't be participating myself." Feels kind of weird. But this a 4chan post so can't possibly be fake or gay.
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if it where true, it would be because she is planning to run with her boyfriend.
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Should have married a guy instead of a woman
They already did and this post is fake af
Odds are high that is it fake but it is absolutely based on a true story. Might have been a husband wanting to do a 5k or a canoe trip or something else instead of a wife, but I've known plenty of people who get pissy when their significant other wants to 'intrude' on their hobby.
The amount of times i wish i was gay is unreal.
This is 4chan so the story is prob missing that their in an active divorce or some shit π
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π© RUN AWAY π©
They would be running but the wife doesn't want to!
Umm yeah very irregular behavior!
She can't run for shit, I'd bet. She wasn't running anywhere except to her side piece's house. Point was to be away, the excuse was the 5k.
Anon fucked up. Anon should have known not to sign themselves up. 100% anons fault.
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