this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 118 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The proper terminology is WAN - a Wide Anal Network.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Got 3 bathrooms in my house does that make a local anal network?

[–] captain_aggravated 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Would a bedpan be a Personal Anal Network?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I believe that would be an air gapped device, or a thumb drive.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] captain_aggravated 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This one is disgustingly accurate..

Due to the Honeywagon

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Any network I join is a wide anal network

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I never thought I'd feel so isolated on my septic system...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

You’re connected through your leech fields and the water table, maybe? Kinda like that one friend trying to connect on their mobile hotspot. Everyone still loves them.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Decentralized encrypting shitting

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yours is like satellite internet.

[–] kambusha 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gonna need fiber for that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Just like a data network, fiber makes the transfers faster.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

poot poot

Pick up the fart phone

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Stream of subconscious

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

One word -

Airgap

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago

I'll leave this here...

[–] ohellidk 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (7 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I need more broadband because my upload is too big

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

there's enough data in my bum i don't want more

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When you open Lemmy you are connected to every persons phone and can ruin their day in an instant.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

I mean, I come across a lot of off putting comments, but I am sure others think the same of mine. We all deserve each other, yaay \o/

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can remind all the Star Trek fans that the episode Sub Rosa exists.

And to all the anime fans, I'm so sorry to do this to you...

"Ed..... Ward...?"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Excuse you, the sex ghost candle is nowhere near the caliber of munition you unloaded with that last line.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm on a private intranet then. I have a septic system.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

OH my friend reminded me I'm on a septic tank? how can I get my butthole connected pls

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Makes me feel very connected, thanks.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Ew, thanks I love it

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Aka the sphincternet.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Enshittification of the buttnet must continue!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

There is an air gap. You're safe.

But if water splashes up then it's GAME OVER MAN.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Guess it’s the ~~Fediverse~~ shittyverse

[–] benderbeerman 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So a p-trap is kinda like a butt firewall then

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At first read this as massaged, and that context definitely puts this in a different light

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Not only that, but the massage is hot, stoned and Swedish

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Interfacing through the porcelain terminal, Case jacked into the waste-processing network

[–] r4venw 5 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I've had this recurring nightmare for the last twenty or so years where I go to sit on a toilet and a disembodied hand comes out of the drain-hole hand first and touches my butt.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Reading this while on the shitter

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

upload only... at least on my side, one large packet at the time, or a bunch of small packets depending on recent past diet

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And your nose and mouth is connected to everyone too.
All in the vast ocean of air. You are inhaling what others exhale.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

It's a comforting thought 😌

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