this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago

I would give you more context but I think its funnier if I leave it without.

[–] [email protected] 133 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Because the undigested corn kernel husks are filled with poop.

[–] [email protected] 76 points 3 days ago (2 children)

TIL I'm corn because I'm full of shit

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago

If that's true, I'm an entire cob.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (2 children)

But like why did they fill up all plump and not just be like a deflated balloon.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Farts blow open the empty kernels like a plastic bag in the wind, then the poop gets in them

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Finally someone with a science based explanation

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Likely because of the pressure that experienced when the feces mines through the colon.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (17 children)

Most people dont chew more than 2-3 times so its kinda expected that stuff goes down unchewed

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I compulsively chew at least 11 times in a vain attempt to diminish my obesity. My lack of a sizable beer gut(versus most of my peers) shows promise, nevermind that I basically don't drink, but I assure you, the corn does not care.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Disclaimer, I have dysphagia, so this isn't meant to be the average person's experience, but... I was eating when I read this and counted how many times I chewed when I took a bite until I felt comfortable swallowing and it was 47. You're telling me normal people can chew as low as 2 times? Astounding.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

I'm in the zero to ten camp for most foods, but right there with you at 47 for fatty meat of any kind. It feels disgusting in my mouth and to swallow it without gagging I need to basically cut it up with my incisors into smaller and smaller pieces until the texture disappears.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

Cornshells are tough AF and we're shit at chewing.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)

At least find an uncensored version. Jesus. So dumb.

[–] [email protected] 95 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

What were these books called?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 days ago

This one appears to be called "I Guess I'll Just Go Fuck Myself: Thanks for Nothing, Dickbag McShitstain." Hope this helps!

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Seems like an extreme reaction to a reasonable request

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have a flair for the dramatic

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago

Magikarp used splash

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago

"Jesus. So dumb."

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

you're supposed to chew 30 times, but who has time for that

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

"Corn? When did I eats corn?"

[–] spankinspinach 11 points 3 days ago

This is the most alarming experience. Especially in the middle of winter when fewer things have corn readily included

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 days ago (2 children)

If you really want to discover something crazy, swallow some raisins whole.

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Do they come out as grapes

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago (1 children)

God I hope they re-hydrate and come out plump and poo water filled

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago

The T-1000 variant

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They say that's how the inventor of the machine gun had his eureka!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Expound please.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I auto downvote anything with fucking censorship

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

That's more like it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

You have great reaction memes, and I'm shamelessly harvesting them.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago

It has like 2 pixels of white on the u, I had to scroll back up to know what you were talking about.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

https://sh.itjust.works/post/29385078

Edit: Also just so you know, your downvotes on 196 are just a shout into the void, considering blahaj has them disabled <3

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago

your boos mean nothing! I've see what makes you cheer

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

This censorship is so weak that I honestly think it's parody at this point.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I'm allergic to corn, so I don't know if this is true, but if I pooped a food that was still whole I'd consider not eating it again.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 days ago

The outside of the kernel is very fibrous, so when chewing it's less about breaking down the outside and more like popping the insides out of its skin. We need all kinds of fiber in our diets, so the outside of the corn kernels passing through is just fine.

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