this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
229 points (94.2% liked)

Today I Learned

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submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 91 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

convergent evolution is such a head scratcher, nature is full of puzzles, like how humans became to dominate this world, yet a human allegedly wrote the title of this post

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

TIL why do words keep evolving into titties?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Because everyone likes titties

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

World cold and hard. Titty warm and soft.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

This guy boobs

[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

It's the same reason both bats and birds have wings.

This article is trash. It's been established for a long time that bats have wings to frighten criminals.

the tasty king crab that's coveted as a seafood delicacy, aren't even technically "true crabs."

I'm not ready for this today.

[–] fsxylo 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

King crab is technically imitation crab meat.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I would call it mislabeled, since it's called crab but wasn't made to imitate crab.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man, you're not going to like the technicalities of what is and isn't a penguin...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They wear tuxedos... right?
Right?

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They keep evolving into pigs too.

Peccary:

Tapir:

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Thanks, I knew there was at least one more. I feel like there's something else I'm not thinking of as well but I can't place it.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

I feel like there's something else

yes, pigs

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

IANAS, but it sure seems like most of these pig fuckers just went fully off-road genetically as soon as their two main external sphincters formed during mitosis, and focused everything else afterward on that core concept: Eat & Shit. (punctuation optional; creative emphasis, arrangement, spelling, etc. promoted)

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[–] gravitas_deficiency 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought those were technically rodents?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 37 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

The semantics of this title makes my brain itch

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

Ok, when we're at 100 comments about the ti~~t~~tle, I will finally edit it

[–] conciselyverbose 10 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

lol throw a colon after TIL and it's good enough.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

lol throw a colon

I did, and now I'm no longer licensed to perform surgery!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Nah, I was a gastric surgeon, not a proctologist or urologist 😉

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

The title , yo

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Still hurts

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Titillating

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Be careful what you ask for on Lemmy... :-P

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I like that it kinda implies that animals are spontaneously becoming crab often enough to be a problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I mean, when you start categorizing things by phylogenetics instead of phenetics, you realize that certain body plans happen a lot more than expected.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago

Taste like crab, talk like people.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago

If crabs came from animals, why are there still animals?

Nature: "Give it time."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

note to self: don't evolve into a crab

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

apparently we won't because we're not modular enough

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The big takeaway the casual reader should learn from this is that contrary to the memes it's not "animals" it's "crustaceans" and to some extent arthropods.

Apes won't evolve into crabs unless we do it deliberately.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Until we do it deliberately.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Ah fuck, you guys found the secret ape crab lab, didn't you?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

This title hurt me physically.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Crabs are the most chaotic structures in the universe so, naturally, entropy will always create crabs as order moves to chaos.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've also heard kangaroos are further evolved, or more distinctly evolved, from our common ancestor than us.

No claws yet though. Having a biological pocket is cool.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I want to be one of those crabs that form a conga line and swap shells.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

That'll be the hermit, ironically.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

(V) (:,,:) (V)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago
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