this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TOWARDS ANY MYTHOLOGY. People may speak of eating your favorite beings, please be prepared for such.

To start off, While I am a pescatarian, I think biblical angels would be delicious fried / grilled, specifically the ones who aren't high enough to be abstract shapes, as I do not think I can stomach a wheel.

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I've been off gluten for a while now for medical reasons and god damn this a thousand times. I would kill for some decent spaghetti.

All the gluten free ones are kinda shit.

[–] agamemnonymous 16 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I would imagine the FSM to be composed of the platonic ideal of gluten rather than physical gluten, though I'm not sure if that would be more irritating or less. I'd consult a GI and maybe a metaphysician.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I mean Jesus is pretty tasty in small doses as is.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Jesus wafers with grape jelly is something I'd definitely snack on.

[–] pastermil 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Grape jelly could be considered solid wine

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

A medium rare Phoenix might be interesting. Though you'd have to work really hard not to burn it, else you get a baby Phoenix.

Many early generation Pokemon might be delicious. I don't want to eat any steel type Pokemon.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Charcoal grilled phoenix might be good! Maybe basted in some really hot chili sauce? Or maybe even as simple as a soy sauce based baste. Keeping the phoeinix moist with some basting liquid is probably a good way to keep it from burning.

I don't mind a deep-fried baby Phoenix tho.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I never thought about burning a phoenix might be problematic. But isn't that an infinite phoenix glitch in which someone can keep making more phoenixes to eat?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Dark thought for a D&D group: How much of a Phoenix do you think you need to keep for it to respawn?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think if not fleshed out in the mythology being used in the setting, it's in the DM's prerogative. If I were DM, I'd say the Phoenix has to actually die before it can respawn.

Slicing off a Phoenix's wings will just result in an injured and very pissed-off Phoenix.

Moreover, I'd stipulate that whatever Phoenix parts (butchered, raw, or cooked, or even partly-digested) would disappear whenever that Phoenix respawns. And for a spicy twist: someone who digests any part of a Phoenix will have a psychic link to the Phoenix. Wisdom check after every long rest (three days after ingesting the Phoenix) to determine whether or not the person retains control of their body. Failing this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the Phoenix gaining complete control. Succeeding this wisdom check thrice in a row results in the person regaining complete control of their own body.

EDIT:

Thinking about this more, I think this can be fleshed out even more. There is only one Phoenix, which was eaten by a bunch of people believing eating it would result in gaining whatever powers the Phoenix originally had, maybe being impervious to fire. However, the Phoenix took over their bodies instead. Many many many years later, the Phoenix never really dies: it just choose a body it controls, and transforms it to "its original body". Thus, now, the Phoenix is known for its "immortality".

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Ok, hear me out... Minotaur sausages.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Oooooo, imagine the anger packed in them.

[–] pastermil 2 points 3 weeks ago

Dibs on the prime rib!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago

I bet JΓΆrmungandr the world-serpent, who gnaws at the roots of Yggdrasil-tree, destined to kill and be killed by Thor, tastes like chicken.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a vegetarian so I want either a golden apple or an apple from Eden.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

A golden apple enscribed with "kallisti".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not picky.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Ironically, the best.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Wow... Legit. All you can eat too. Just stop back tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Cthulu Nigiri maybe?

Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

A bite of the Ouroboros, why should the serpent be the only one that gets a taste of itself?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Didn't Zeus go around appearing as things like swans? Is swan like goose? Christmas Zeus, with a bonus of all that fat to fry potatoes in is my choice. Just gotta catch him in swan form.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Tiny Tim: Mom, look at the Christmas Zeus! It's almost as big as me!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

The problem with ingesting Zeus is that I'd have a good chance (nearly 100% based on my Greek mythology knowledge) I'd end up being pregnant and incurring Hera's wrath, or being whisked to Olympus as his winebearer... or both!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I drink trash wine and love carbs anyway so I'm going with Jesus.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I bet Aphrodite would taste divine.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

Bro's gonna get to the great beyond and experience horrors beyond human comprehension for this one

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I've been binging Hades 2 this week, so: Dionysus. Have you seen that package?!

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I loved swordfish steak the one time I had it, so I'd bet that Scylla, Charybdis, or the Kraken would be quite good.

Oh, also The Kraken is quite tasty.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I would most prefer the Tyrant (the judeo-muslim-Christian God) because nothing tastes better than vindictive spite.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I’d say one of those immortality peaches from Chinese myth. Probably one of the eternal youth ones that blooms every six thousand years.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The flying spaghetti monster.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A classical sauciness, but with what sauce?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Probably marinara tbh; I'd love to say alfredo, but dairy's been kicking my gut's ass lately.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

@[email protected] Need a member of the birb council to check in here to see if this is legit.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

He must be delicious or that bird wouldn't keep eating.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

A nice Caribbean Faun curry sounds delicious.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Dionysus has gotta taste like wine.

[–] NichtElias 2 points 3 weeks ago

I'd say Idun's apples for the immortality, but those aren't a deity/being, so I guess Idun? Maybe that works too

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