roux

I already bitched about this in the vegan theory club cooking discord bub I'm still bent the fuck out of shape over it.

Ok, so my kid's birthday party was yesterday and the last 2 times I wasn't able to eat the cake because it was made with extra helping of animals. I just sat their on my phone and took a few pictures or whatever. I helped with set up and tear down.

We are also going broke because I'm too fucking stupid to hold down a job and after over a year and a half of trying to find a job, we are at the point where I am considering getting rid of the rest of our streaming services and pull our youngest out of daycare. We are barely surviving on a teacher's salary right now.

In the past, my partner has gone all out on our kids' parties but I was working so it was fine. This time, I wanted to try to save money where we could. In the past, my partner would get a cake from a local bakery that costs like $80 and only 1/4 would get eaten and I'd throw the rest away 2 months later because it got forgotten in the back of our garage fridge.

So this year I wanted to kill 2 vegan birds with one stone and make my kid's birthday cake. I could make it for way cheaper and also sub in vegan ingredients.

I buy all the ingredients and plan on making it Saturday. My mother-in-law decides to offer to make a cake for my kid after finding out we aren't spending $80 on a cake. I already bought the ingredients so I politely say no thanks. Because I am saving money, not wasting it. And because I wanted to enjoy cake at my kid's birthday party.

I got up early yesterday, put my earbuds in and threw on some baking metal. To be fair it was a box cake mix and the frosting was also pre-made. I was gonna do this as a test run before autistic hyper-focus takes over and I proceed to deep dive into making the perfect vegan cake. So I mix it up and bake it and do the toothpick test and it comes out clean. I wait for it to cool and frost it and it's good. Life is good. We good.

Well, It was on the softer side of done. My mother-in-law goes to cut the cake and it crumbles. She then proceeds, in front of like 15 people, to tell me that my cake sucks and I should have just let her make it because it wouldn't suck. In front of me, my partner, our kids, our friends, etc. So that's great.

I spiral, because I do that. and I'm still processing it. She seemed like she wanted to go out of her way to make a deal about it because she knows I'm vegan and likes to call it weird or whatever when she can.

I know this is all over a stupid cake but she really could have just laughed it off when it was falling apart instead of slopping it on to everyone's plate like she was a lunchlady in the 6th circle of hell or something.

That's it. That's my rant. I'm mostly just hoping that I could get it off my chest and move on.

I am always looking for recipes so if anyone has a good cake recipe that can adapt to flavors like vanilla or chocolate and such, I'm definitely interested. A tiny caveat is that the cake mix and frosting used palm oil and I'm really trying to avoid that because of how palm farming wrecked the environment.

I'm on a mailing list for Claudia and got this today. Kind of funny since last week the Democrats tried kicking de la Cruz off of the Georgia ballot.

I also plan on going over this in my next therapy session along with me possibly having pathological demand avoidance and executive dysfunction, but wanted some spicy(and real) takes from other terminally online ND commies that are forced to go outside occasionally.

So, I'm atheist/nihilist/it's complicated but I go to church with my Christian wife and my kids on Sundays and sometimes Wednesday evenings. It's fine, whatever. I've actually made a few friends there and some of them are aware that I am bleak-brained about religion.

Some of them who know me more personally even will ask if they can hug me or whatever. It's fine if I know it's coming and it's with someone I know and can prepare for.

But like 99.9% of the rest of those people and the rest of humanity can fuck the fuck right off. Why do randos feel obligated to touch other people?

In that church, we are part of a "small group" and the last one we joined, a dude there who I never met, just came up and hugged me. Did that the next few times too before I was able to shut the hug down a handshake compromise. I didn't wanna be mean about it and figured a handshake was bearable. I'm used to them from the stupid fucking formalities that come with job interviews. Sure, fuck it.

But then the old fart that holds the door open like Jesus would have wanted... whey does he feel obligated to give me a back pat? Don't fucking touch me maybe?

This last Sunday they had new Elders selected(I don't get it either. Spend 2 months asking how they can select more inclusive Elders and still pick 4 old white dudes) but I was walking passed one and he felt the holy spirit in him to gently pinch the bottom part of my bicep in some weird fucking "coochie coochie coo" display. Like what possessed him to do that? Never talked to him outside the casual stupid fucking small talk. Dear dude with the bizzaro tickle fetish, could you fucking not?

I spent all my life suffering from anticipatory anxiety of people touching me in all these dumb fucking rituals of hand shakes and shoulder clasping and I would dearly like them to fucking stop.

So, how do I actually do it? I am extremely blunt and have a short temper and feel like if I don't get this sorted I'm gonna blow the fuck up at the next person who touches me without my permission.

Tips, tricks, bear strength pepper spray?