this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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Literally, 'not the onion'

all 40 comments
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 month ago (3 children)

checks headline

checks community name

........shit. I should have a joke for this, or something.

Hang on.....

.........fuck......

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

I said "pulling onions" sounds like jerking off while crying. That's the best I got.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

How could you possibly improve upon perfection?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Don't eat the crab dip!

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I remember a certain former president trying to deregulate all the things.

Now we’re all getting listeria, and he’s poised to be president again.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Since he loves his hamburders so much let's hope he gets all the onions.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was the style at the time.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Gimme 5 bees for a quarter, you'd say

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Companies like this get an excuse to sell the same products, at the same price, with less ingredients in these moments. Yes the onions only cost then $.02 each burger, but multiply that by 6.5 million burgers sold per day.

They don't give a shit about you, they are pulling the onions to temp boost profit margin as long as they have the cover to say "out of an abundance of caution"...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not only that, but some companies don't bring them back. I remember some outbreak happened years ago and Jimmy johns stop serving sprouts on some of their sandwiches. I was assuming they would be back after the outbreak was over, but no. I still eat my sandwiches from their sprout-less.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That's about when I stopped going. I get the veggie sandwich. without the sprouts its just not very good

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Literally, 'not the onion'

But it literally is the onions...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hold on, my onion memes community is going to be devastated

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

nottheonion s! ಠᴗಠ

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

shit I missed the news and got extra onions on a taco bell burrito this morning. wish me luck...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

shit

If you're unlucky, you might well do so.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[–] biggerbogboy 3 points 1 month ago

!remindme 1 day

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

First they came for the arugula and I did not speak out because arugula is meh. Then they came for the sprouts and I did not speak out because sprouts are whatever. Then they came for the me and my onions and there was no one left to speak for us...because they all had food-borne illnesses.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What's even the best case scenario of eating McDonald's food?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Nuggets and sour sauce😋

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

You'll need to shit before your hour long commute home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

See, mom? I told you onions were evil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wonder how big of a pile of onions could be made with all recalled product.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Enough to make a grown man cry

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Bed bath and beyond fried chicken

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

5% is too little

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I saw people in the McDonald's drive thru line today. Can't wait to get an ecoli burger I guess.

[–] Kecessa 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Do you really think they're still using the contaminated onions?

3 to 8 days incubation period for e.coli.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Or that people aren't ever in the McDonald's drive thru

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Took her off the vegetation

Took her by the arm.

Selling E. coli burgers

Couldn't do no harm."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

See it's the veggies that are trying to kill you just as much as the meat if not more.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

It's usually uncomposted manure or the proximity to pasture soil that infects vegetables with E. coli, so it's still a result of the animal agriculture industry.