this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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Not The Onion

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Literally, 'not the onion'

all 40 comments
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 months ago (3 children)

checks headline

checks community name

........shit. I should have a joke for this, or something.

Hang on.....

.........fuck......

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

I said "pulling onions" sounds like jerking off while crying. That's the best I got.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

How could you possibly improve upon perfection?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Don't eat the crab dip!

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I remember a certain former president trying to deregulate all the things.

Now we’re all getting listeria, and he’s poised to be president again.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Since he loves his hamburders so much let's hope he gets all the onions.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It was the style at the time.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago

Gimme 5 bees for a quarter, you'd say

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Companies like this get an excuse to sell the same products, at the same price, with less ingredients in these moments. Yes the onions only cost then $.02 each burger, but multiply that by 6.5 million burgers sold per day.

They don't give a shit about you, they are pulling the onions to temp boost profit margin as long as they have the cover to say "out of an abundance of caution"...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not only that, but some companies don't bring them back. I remember some outbreak happened years ago and Jimmy johns stop serving sprouts on some of their sandwiches. I was assuming they would be back after the outbreak was over, but no. I still eat my sandwiches from their sprout-less.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

That's about when I stopped going. I get the veggie sandwich. without the sprouts its just not very good

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Literally, 'not the onion'

But it literally is the onions...

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hold on, my onion memes community is going to be devastated

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

nottheonion s! ಠᴗಠ

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

shit I missed the news and got extra onions on a taco bell burrito this morning. wish me luck...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

shit

If you're unlucky, you might well do so.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago
[–] biggerbogboy 3 points 2 months ago

!remindme 1 day

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

First they came for the arugula and I did not speak out because arugula is meh. Then they came for the sprouts and I did not speak out because sprouts are whatever. Then they came for the me and my onions and there was no one left to speak for us...because they all had food-borne illnesses.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What's even the best case scenario of eating McDonald's food?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Nuggets and sour sauce😋

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

You'll need to shit before your hour long commute home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

See, mom? I told you onions were evil.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how big of a pile of onions could be made with all recalled product.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago

Enough to make a grown man cry

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Bed bath and beyond fried chicken

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

5% is too little

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I saw people in the McDonald's drive thru line today. Can't wait to get an ecoli burger I guess.

[–] Kecessa 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Do you really think they're still using the contaminated onions?

3 to 8 days incubation period for e.coli.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Or that people aren't ever in the McDonald's drive thru

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Took her off the vegetation

Took her by the arm.

Selling E. coli burgers

Couldn't do no harm."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

See it's the veggies that are trying to kill you just as much as the meat if not more.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

It's usually uncomposted manure or the proximity to pasture soil that infects vegetables with E. coli, so it's still a result of the animal agriculture industry.