this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
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Privacy

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Okay the title is a bit exaggerated, but honestly not far off. This post is very mundane and a bit long, but thought it fits the community.

I'm visiting my home country and went shopping for pants, there were "30% off everything!" signs with a tiny text underneath that said "member discount" (don't have membership). Not a problem, did not notice and I don't care for such marketing tricks to get you into the store but okay.

Picked up couple of pants, went to the cashier and they asked me "do you have our membership?" - I answered no and expected the follow up question whether I'd like to join, but, to my positive surprise the cashier just happily responded "okay, not a problem!" and continued to bag my stuff.

I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said "now I just need your phone number and you can pay". Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

I declined and said I don't want to join and would like to just pay.

The entire interaction after questioning why they need my phone number was awkward, as if I had been the first person to decline, the weirdo, aluminum foil hat wearing hermit.

This was just one of many interactions in the recent years that make me feel as if I was a weirdo for not sharing all my info around. The worst is when everyone keeps telling me "its just an app, just download it and use that why do you make things complicated" or "just sign up you don't need to pay anything".

Thank you for reading my mundane rant, would you like to hear more? Just sign up for my weekly mailing list! ~~Your email will be shared with our 12 453 partners~~

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 4 weeks ago (14 children)

(Your Area Code) 867-5309. None of the younger store clerks know the song reference when I give them this number. But I get chuckles from older folks in line behind me

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

There's usually already an account with that number, so just try it out. You probably don't even need to actually open an account. BTW, if you do open an account, don't expect that a fake phone number is going to keep you anonymous. Everything is linked these days. All of the big data brokers are buying and selling information to each other. The second you swipe a card, it's going to match that card to real information from some random online purchase 95 years ago, and they'll have all of your real information, including political preferences, address, phone number, all of your email addresses, ethnicity, height, weight, sexual preferences, everything. They have it all, and it's all linked to every credit card you have ever used.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I use this everywhere. Regularly get discounts on gasoline.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I had this experience once in an Ikea, of all places. I calmly told the clerk that according to local laws (which I cited), it was illegal for them to demand that information from me (phone number and post code) to sell me anything, and if the computer wouldn’t let them do it, then they should call a manager for an override.

When the manager came, the clerk said “this person refuses to give me their info” — to which I added, “your computer refuses to comply with the law; please override and then notify HQ that they are in contravention of the law and liable for significant fines.”

The next time I went in, they still asked me for the info, but the clerk was able to override. I suspect they just put in fake info for everyone who refused to supply it.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Well done for taking a stand. The problem, as ever, is that most people prefer to comply obediently even if it feels wrong. And then next thing we know, it becomes standard practice.

BTW I have been in your situation and responded similarly. Usually it ends in the clerk inputting dummy info, sometimes after I irritably tell them to do so.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago

I can imagine that the tactic used on me works - same as making the hide/close/disagree button small. Dark Patterns in real life.

[–] paysrenttobirds 35 points 4 weeks ago (4 children)

Maybe just an awkward sales agent, or they thought you were mad at them for in their mind trying to help. I decline phone number and zip code all the time. Also been using someone else's phone number at grocery stores for years -- started by mistake. I don't care about accumulated points or whatever but discounts at grocery store are pretty significant for me.

But I understand your frustration in general. Keep up the good fight :)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Any time a store asks for a phone number, I use the local area code followed by 867-5309, and 9/10 times it works

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago

What's frustrating is that they're not real discounts. The Club Price is the regular price, and you have to agree to tracking in order to not pay above retail.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago

I can relate, and agree that maybe the cashier found it just as awkward. Tried to be as nice as possible because I know its a tough job!

Thank you and you too, fellow privacy enjoyer!

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Stores will never respect your privacy or data, so you have no obligation to respect a corporation’s expectation of truth.

Just have memorized fake data ready for bullshit like this, say it when asked. Then the retail person who cares even less than you about it (but is forced to pretend they do, in order to survive) can get to their break faster. Win win

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Everyone's approaching this from the privacy aspect, but the real reason isn't that the cashier thought you were weird, they're just underpaid and under a lot of pressure from management to try multiple times and in some cases they even get written up for not doing it because it's deemed part of their job. They hate it just as much as you. Same when you try to cancel your cable subscription or whatever: the calls are recorded and their performance is monitored and they make damn sure they try at least 3 times to upsell you, even when it's painfully obvious you're done with them.

Just politely decline until they asked however many times they're required to ask and move on.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

I did politely decline and didn't want to make a fuss about it - the title is bit exaggerated and from outside perspective it probably wasn't that dramatic.

I know that the cashier is just doing their job and I didn't want to make their day any harder than it probably already was. I smiled, thanked and left right after paying.

Hope I don't sound like a karen, just wanted to share my mundane experience in this community since I really love the discussion that is going on in this thread. I do hope that all of us in this community still remember the human when interacting with people in the real world.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Every time this happens to me, the clerk/cashier just shrugs and is like, "okay". They get it, but are obligated to try anyway. The best you can do is be polite.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

100% would never want to make their day tougher than it already probably is.

This hermit politely declined, paid, thanked, and left. The anger I felt was towards the retail company and the clerk doesn't need to witness that.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I was looking at ISPs yesterday as my current contract ran out so they're taking the opportunity to wring me for all my money. One place I looked at has a regular price and "members price" for every plan. I go to see what a membership entails and it points me to download an app. No clue if the membership is free or not because I don't want or need an app for every utility and purchase I make. People like you and I are not the norm but from my viewpoint you're being reasonable and the world has lost all sense of normalcy and reason.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago

That is just it. An app for everything, when it could just be a website you login to if you absolutely must have an account for something.

I'm glad I'm getting some peer support here and glad to hear similar stories.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

"Would you like to donate money to us that we pretty pretty promise will go to some vague charity while we reap the tax benefits? No? Are you sure? Fine, we'll just ask you next time (regardless of your answer this time)."

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What tax benefits? Sure they can deduct the donation, but that just cancels out the income from you giving them the money to donate. It's net zero for the company.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I hear the charity tax myth all the time and I don't understand why everyone just believes it.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Obviously, it's not possible for a store to claim a tax deduction for a customer's charity donation. But, the store can claim tax deductions for the cost of collecting the donated money on the charities behalf.

Costs would include: a percentage of the staff members salary for asking the customer to donate, equipment costs to modify the registers to process donations, a percentage of the credit card transaction fees, a percentage of the shop lease costs, etc etc.

Initially, it sounds ridiculous as the real costs of what I listed above would realistically land somewhere between zero and shit-all. But we can be sure that the businesses that ask their customers for charity donations have all the numbers geared heavily in their favor.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

Except all of those things you listed would be business expenses which aren't taxable as they would be deducted from gross profits as part of the calculation for determining net profit (which is the taxable part of profit) and if they're also using that as a charitable contribution then they are deducting it twice which the IRS tends to frown upon. Or at least they would if they had any kind of worthwhile enforcement mechanism for dealing with corporations.

I would assume the tax agencies of countries outside the US similarly frown upon such double deductions, possibly even with effective enforcement.

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[–] yonder 19 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

From a privacy point of view, it makes pefect sense to not share your phone number with a merchant. The only buisness you have with them is a single transaction, they don't need any more information about you other than knowing that you paid.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Agreed. It used be worse here - at some point merchants wanted your social security number to create a unique customer identifier.

I will not describe how angry I felt hearing a shoe store clerk ask for my social security number (again, did not lash out at the clerk), but I was angry.

That thankfully did not last long (iirc).

[–] csm10495 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Duh fuq.

I wonder how many people would give their social that easily.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 weeks ago

The last time I bought a Mac was like 10 years ago, at an independent computer shop that specialized in them. The person at the register insisted on getting my personal info "because Apple needed it" but I didn't want to give it. The person at the register very slowly sauntered up to their manager, had a long discussion, and eventually they figured something out because I suddenly didn't need to give my info. It was kind of nervewracking because I was paying cash and I was like: what if I hand it over, and they change their mind? It's not like I could call the cops, I'm the wrong demographic.

Anyway, whenever I thought about getting an Apple system, I remembered that experience and went with something else.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When I worked retail, I never asked for phone or address or anything. If they volunteered it, I’d do it, but I never asked. Management talked to me about it several times and I just kept not doing it. I think they kept me on in busy times because I could blast through any line of customers faster than anyone else (I wonder why 🤔)

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

This is sadly very common where I'm from, except you don't even get a discount from it. I've taken to just politely declining, since I'm sure the person working the cash is probably pressured to get people to give their personal info.

"And can get your email?"

"No thank you"

"I need your email for the receipt"

"I appreciate it but no thank you"

It's a slight non sequitur while still being polite. Saying "no thank you" when someone is pressuring you works well in many situations.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Another way they get your phone number is mandatory SMS 2FA login. The Dunkin Donuts app does this shitty behavior.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Why is there a dunkin donuts app?

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I think your misinterpreting your own social anxieties as being made to feel like an "outcast".

The fact of the matter is it's just not normal to question why a store wants your phone number and I'm sure the cashier was taken aback by the whole situation.

Convenience, not privacy, is the norm. There is going to be tons and tons of awkward social interactions when you go against social norms. Accept it and be proud your advocating for your privacy.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said "now I just need your phone number and you can pay". Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

"Sure thing, It's +XX 111 222 3333" Just give them garbage.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago

I miss print coupons. Hearing "get the app" or "there's an app for it" makes me flinch these days.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago

I'm a casher in the US of fuckin A and I can assure you that we don't care on a personal level what you do. If someone not having or wanting to enter a phone number at the register is the weirdest customer thing that happens in a shift then it's the most relaxed shift of my damn life.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

A long time ago they wanted a phone number for me to get a hair cut. She looked at me like I was crazy when I said no.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

I declined and said I don’t want to join and would like to just pay.

I've just said "I don't have one" when asked this for awhile. This never seems the phase the cashiers, I'm guessing they know what that really means. Half the time I still get whatever discount, though I've never tried to sign up for a membership saying that.

If it's an online form my phone number is just (local area code)555–5555. I've never had that not take, except for one case where it automatically enabled 2-factor auth and I had to create a new account.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I do this all the time.

"Can I have your address?"

"For a haircut? No, will it let you skip it? Ok good do that then, thanks. I don't need 50 new mailers a month about damn haircuts, you feel me."

Problem solved, they always just say "yeah I hear that."

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I realized a few years ago that my GF inadvertently solved this issue for me: She likes registering for anything that provides a discount, so I use her phone number.

"Are you a member?"
"Nope, but my GF probably is..", and 90% of the time I am correct.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Best not to overthink it - The sales clerk is trained to ask for this stuff.

Luckily most times I encounter this I just tell them no I don't have a phone number with them & continue checkout like normal. Sometimes that means not getting a sale price on something but usually I avoid those type of member-specific sales anyway.

And worst case - Just make something up. At Best Buy a sales rep absolutely refused to sell me something from the mobile dept without my info. Which didn't make sense because earlier I had bought something at that same Best Buy with a different rep & that rep took my order without my info no problem (she said she had to enter a phone number but just entered Best Buy's).

Yet this particular sales rep refused to proceed without info, so yeah he got an entire fictional name/address/phone/email on the spot.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No point asking them to justify why they have to ask, they probably don't even know. Just say "Sorry, I don't give that out". I've never had a store push back after that - they probably get it all the time.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

It’s been more than 20y since the first time I remember sternly declining to give either a phone number or postal code to a cashier in a retail shop. It pissed me off then and still pissed me off now.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Nah, you're not abnormal. I've had the same thing happen at multiple store. The most invasive has been Microcenter; they tell me that I have to give them my email in order to wait in line for tech support, and then bombard me with spam. Every time I buy something new there, I have to tell the cashier to NOT use the address on file that they won't unlink from my bank card.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

Why don't you just lie ... Each time a different name surname email address physical address phone number ... Yeah sometimes it's Mandatory to use a real address for delivery purposes just put a random name in and add a post-it on the doorbell saing something on the line of leave packages for Crudelia demon here please. Temp mail for most discounts is enough... The test cases in which they do not only ask for your phone but also want to verify it it's pretty slim ...

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Here it's similar. I've found out that if to the question

do you have our membership?

I respond "No, thank you", they often understand correctly and don't assume I want to set one up

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