this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] [email protected] 169 points 1 month ago

Oh fuck... It's so stupid it's smart.

[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I don’t trust the liberal science agenda so I did my own research. Using some back-of-the-napkin math and my telescope, I’m now blind from looking at the sun through a telescope. This is being transcribed by my trad wife. My results:

2 > 1

This one checks out, folks.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You must be a terrorist because that's MUSLIM MATH! Those are not Christian numbers and feel it necessary to report this comment to the FBI, the Federal Biblical Investigators.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How's this instead: II > I

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What, you don't believe in the Nemesis hypothesis?

Because that would bring it up to... hang on, let me get my calculator...

Two stars in the solar system.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fascinating proposal, professor. Thankfully I can adjust my equations quite easily:

2 ≥ 2

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

There is not a single thing about this comment chain that doesn't bring me joy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Thank you for your service.

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[–] [email protected] 70 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

As someone who worked in a gas station for 24 years..

sigh

I’d do it. I’d suck it up. I’d make some damn good friends along the way and then I’d never maintain those friendships and feel guilty for the rest of rest of my life. “Just call him, dipshit. He’s going through a divorce! Just go fishing! Pleaaassse! Ok, here goes. Tomorrow.”

Always tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is one of the most fascinating comments I've ever encountered on Lemmy

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You’re fascinating. 😘

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We should be best friends. 👊

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] SpermHowitzer 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I have no idea how I ended up here. Swear to god I was on the post about the trolley, saving people, and small talk. No shit. Never even seen this post.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

This happened to me once too. The Lemmy gods brought you here. You are now a part of the meme

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly. We've all been there.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I saw that post right below this one.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And now I’ve posted it in the correct location.

[–] WolfLink 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

No this post was the correct location. Don’t second guess yourself. You were always meant to be here!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

I’ll call you tomorrow, tomorrow.

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You got me. Had to whatever the thought equivalent of double take is.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

If i had fallen for it, i would have had a quarter ponder :)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Had yourself a thinkythink

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago

I love this because even though I read the words, I interpreted it to mean something else for a second. (atoms and galaxy) Be careful when you read things and don't assume you know something.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Not if you count Taylor Swift

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Mmm... Yeah!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is the joke that there is only one star in our solar system? The sun?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

yes, ... and only 2 hydrogen atoms in a molecule of water (H2O)

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Second time i see this, still funny :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Made me think for a second.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (8 children)
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[–] blockheadjt 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)
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