this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
313 points (93.6% liked)

Funny

6850 readers
269 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

It's a slow death for me, but a fast death for mankind.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Now I'm not some fancy science-man, but I do reckon that an impact of that magnitude would propel massive chunks of Earth debris in every direction at incredible speeds. Odds seem fairly well even that you'd get your own little impact death pretty well soon after.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think at that point you would just take of the helmet.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Is it bad that I would possibly give it a bit?

Like, I'm fucked either way. Who knows, maybe I'll make it for another sleep cycle, and the last thing I'll see will be those fragments further scattered. Something pretty, as the liquid in my eyes begins to rapidly boil.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_ 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Death by starvation isn't this person's fate, is it? I wouldn't think it would take more than a few days or maybe even hours for the debris to land. I'd just sit there in existential horror while trying enjoying the view, waiting to get taken out instantly by some giant chunk of the mantle landing on my head. Of course that's mostly because I'd be too afraid of the pain to take off my helmet.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_ 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Actually, can you even take one of those helmets off without equalized air pressure or is there a mechanical safety that locks it? If there's a separate nitrogen tank and you have control over the mixture, just turning off the oxygen would be the way to go.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_ 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

So, uh, is it a bad sign that I put that much thought into hypothetical ways to kms on the moon?

[–] Saledovil 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In this scenario, it would probably be the rational path forward, as you're in a situation where you're guaranteed to die either way. So why not make your death as painless as possible?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'd be out there until I was floating in a most peculiar way.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] xlash123 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The amount of energy it would take to punch a hole through the Earth would probably be enough to kill you from the moon.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (5 children)

"somebody is fucking with me"

The Earth is way too close, and I don't think a meteor strike on the earth, no matter how energetic, would look like a bullet going through an apple.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You assume this is a meteor strike and not some type of planet killing weapon

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

That's no moon.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Well… shit.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm Polish, so the same thing I say in any situation: "Kurwa".

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Such a beautiful language.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But what about the stock market?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

To the moon

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Try to contact the ship that escaped. The one that was being built in silence under false pretenses by people who knew the planet was screwed, but convinced themselves it was better not to cause riots by informing everyone.

Small chance, but the billionaire investors might want to pick me up as a novelty story, or to make themselves feel like heroes

[–] vaultdweller013 9 points 1 month ago

"This is the SCP foundation, to all survivors give us five minutes."

Radio static for four and a half minutes

"Okay we are about to do a temporal shift to six minutes ago in a localized portion of space time, 05 council and the Foundation wish you luck."

[–] Saledovil 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Eh, both permanent space habitation as well as generation ships are so comically far out of our reach that any effort to escape would be doomed. All the billionaires would have accomplished is that they'd die slower. Unless we had decades of advanced warning and even then it would be a stretch. Additionally, in the latter case there's no need to keep it secret. The world is going to end in 50 years just wouldn't cause as much panic.

Secondly, if you look at the picture, the projectile directly pierces the earth. So it would have to be going extremely fast to accomplish this. So chances are we wouldn't see it coming to begin with.

Thirdly, this sort of direct hit implies intelligence. So, chances are whatever wants us dead would then follow through to ensure they get any survivors. Or not, as I pointed out earlier, all survivors are screwed either way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

*the general and president walk down the underground corridor

Sir, it's time to reveal to you where all the real NASA money has been going for the past 60 years.

Wait is that-

Yes, alien tech recovered from Roswell.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That triangular dust cloud doesn't look right.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Yeah, all parts of this image are in an uncanny valley where you can understand how someone thought the image would read a certain way, but then also it doesn't actually read that way to me at all

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

That's not how planetary collisions work.

Earth's core is a solid ball of iron-nickel alloy as hot as the surface of the sun. Not even a huge asteroid could just go through it and come out the other side.

[–] SapphironZA 8 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The ball on the bottom right, is the earth's core leaving.

BTW, the book Seveneves is worth a read/listen. It covers a scenario of something very very dense passing through the moon.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

The economy!

[–] pkmkdz 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

silently take delight in knowing all my enemies are dead

I mean you've got to look for positives, right?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Do people have enemies? That seems exhausting.

[–] 0x4E4F 7 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Arch nemesis... only Arch users have those.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’ll tip my Fedora to that.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

From the looks of it the astronaut was just out of the lunar grocery store starting to walk home for some dinner and down time.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

shit, I didn't bring enough food

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

"Well I'm getting out of this uncomfortable suit!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I think this is one situation where I'd be genuinely speechless.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

One small uh-oh for a man, one giant extinction event for mankind.

[–] Lisk91 6 points 1 month ago

Oh...

...

...

...fuck.

[–] shadowedcross 6 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Houston, we have a problem

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

'Guess no brunch this weekend.'

or

'Haha, missed!'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Ahh, beans!

load more comments
view more: next ›