this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 79 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Man, there’s something about the color balance and lighting that just screams Monty Python sketch to me.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago

It looks like a colorized classic sitcom.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I though it was a C&C red alert screenshot.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

God damn it some necromancer needs to resurrect Westwood from death to get off their asses and make a new Tiberium Sun, Red Alert, and most importantly a new C&C Generals.

You actually cannot purchase C&C Generals, even if you wanted to. And no way to play multiplayer either if you pirated it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

You can get all the classic C&Cs on Steam and you can play a good chunk of them online using CNC online. I agree though, we need a new C&C Generals.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

Tactical background

[–] gigachad 75 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

This is General major Freuding in the official Bundeswehr channel. This guy is a machine, it's really interesting listening to his analyses. One of the top comments says something like "Kremlin is watching this rn to understand what the fuck is going on in Kursk"

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would be 0% surprised if someone there copies Germans off of YouTube for their official reports. More time to get hammered, am I right?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

it's not like they learned how to write reports; russian education has been shit for a few years now, hasn't it?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago

Feuding is a great name for a general

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (5 children)
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

His analysis is looking spot on.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

let me try this with a different faction. /S just in case...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I thought this was a comedy sketch, then I see it’s the official Bundeswehr channel. What is this timeline?

Edit: I now have a theory https://lemmy.world/comment/11813752

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Idk, that seems a bit too credible for me...

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

He said the F-16 isn’t a game changer, instantly non-credible. If you put a dying flower next to an F-16, it will bloom.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This looks like something out of Dr Strangelove or an early Bond film. If it weren’t for the modern bezel around the screen, I would not be able to tell the difference.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago

I misread bezel as Brezel, and couldn’t tell if you were making a German joke or if there was a hidden pretzel somewhere on the border

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Comparing the art direction of a Bond film to Dr Strangelove, to the point you can't tell the difference, is something I have never seen before.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 weeks ago

That screen shot though. It took me a second to realize this wasn't a Monty Python skit.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Kraus stumbled out of the wreckage of die Zeitmaschine, disoriented and alone.

The bunker was long gone, replaced by a gleaming modern city that bore little resemblance to the remains of the Berlin he knew. The streets were clean, the buildings were standing tall, and strange vehicles zipped by silently.

His heart raced as he wandered through the city, trying to make sense of what had happened. He found himself drawn to a large department store with rows of televisions in the window. On every screen, a news broadcast played, showing an attack against Kursk in Russia. The familiar German black cross was still emblazoned on tanks, but the uniforms were different—sleek, modern. And soldiers spoke a language that he didn’t understand. Aren’t they German? He was confused.

And then he saw him: Panzergeneral Freuding, analyzing the battle with calm authority. His sharply ironed grey uniform offering a familiar sight. Kraus’s heart leaped. The Reich was still fighting. The war was still on. But… how?

He stepped closer to the screens, trying to understand the reports. The news anchor spoke of a war that had begun in 2022, of a Russian invasion repelled, a brave Ukraine pushing the enemy back into their territory. Kraus’s mind reeled. This wasn’t the war he remembered. This wasn’t 1945.

But perhaps… perhaps they had succeeded. Look at this city, more modern and beautiful than he ever remembered. And the German tanks rolling over the steppe, filling him with pride. Perhaps they had somehow altered history with the time machine, and shifted the tide in their favor?

Kraus straightened, a grim smile spreading across his face. He was the only one left, the last survivor of the old war, but it didn’t matter. His sacrifice had not been in vain. The Reich could be victorious after all. As he stood there, watching the tanks on the screen, he felt a new sense of purpose washing over him. "Für das Vaterland," he whispered to himself, and walked over to the train station to find the first wagon going to the Eastern front.

And this time, he was here to make sure they win.

Edit: this is intended to be ironic. Fuck nazis. https://lemmy.world/comment/11839482

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

Berlin clean and beautiful? This must be some alternate history.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

u/slaacaa, I don't know what your intention is in posting this...creative writing.... exercise, but this isn't a community for posting fanfiction or historical fiction. You seem new to commenting at NCD, so I'd like to give you, @[email protected] a moment to explain your point of view before taking any action as a mod. Could you add some context, is your post/story intended to be irony? Please respond publicly in this thread by tonight, that is 8-17. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Hi, yes, it is very definitely intended as ironic, shredding light on the - in my view absurdly - repetitive patterns in history. Based the comments and the upvotes this humor hopefully came through for most readers, but I understand nuance is not always obvious in written text.

I hope ironic comments like these are not against the rules, but happy to adjust my style/content, if needed. I am a long-time lurker and occasional NCD commenter from the reddit, so I was thinking I have a good grasp on the sub - please let me know if not.

I also want to clarify that I spent around 5 minutes on the “story” above, by giving ChatGPT some prompts and editing the output to fit what I was trying to achieve with a comment. I am luckily not some basement dwelling teen writing WW2 fanfic for hours every day.

Thanks for reaching out as a mod, instead of just purging/banning, I appreciate that. Maybe I should have replied to the comment accusing me, but I thought the irony was obvioud and absurd, but maybe not.

To make it even more clear, in case anybody was doubting: fuck nazis.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Ok, that's what I was hoping to hear from you. Post stays, we good. Basement dwellers and WWII obsessors are always welcome here, but fuck time traveling Nazis. "Iron Sky" was fun, but before reading the context you provided, your post gave me da hibbity jibbities. Thank you to all the morons and moronettes who expressed their concerns. Let's always have a dialogue, not a monologue, this isn't hexbear, lemmy.ml or lemmygrad. THIS IS NCD. OUT.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (11 children)
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This image is giving me some real Command and Conquer vibes

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Just waiting for Tanya to walk in from slightly off screen, reference 99 red balloons as she explains a new kind of attack drone swarm, and then tell us she'll be in position, and she's counting on us.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The camo background and index card are probably really helpful in the modern office combat environment.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe the camo index card is a tablet?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This looks like it was filmed in the 40's and only colorized in 2024.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente 13 points 3 weeks ago

That's just what Germany looks like, same as everything being sepia in Mexico

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Downfall (2024)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I somehow stumbled onto that video a couple days ago and watched it in amazement.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Oh. Oh no. Not again.

/s

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