Screenshots of people being insane on Facebook. Please censor names/pics of end users in screenshots. Please follow the rules of lemmy.world
Damnit, the pope holds all birth certificates? I’m such an idiot, how did I not know?
There must have a massive archive in the Vatican, holding the birth certificates of 8bil people.
They're actually is a archive in the Vatican, but it's full of all of their dirty laundry and all of the dirt that they've scraped together on world leaders for like 1,500 years. As I understand it there's actually stuff that could start wars down there.
Yeah, the pope keeps all of them in a big book that also says if you have been naughty or nice.
Hold on. This changes everything. You mean the pope works for Santa? Or the saint's Clause? I smell a loophole
Wonder who’s keeping track with all the new ones coming in every few seconds and all the people dying every few seconds. Must be one busy post office in there.
I am sad that this person has terrible penmanship but they still have nicer penmanship than me.
Me too. I just got some pens at work I actually like and I am hoarding them all for myself. I put them in my work bag so they're just mine. They improve my handwriting but not much.
My handwriting has been terrible my whole life, even when I used to write in notebooks all the time. It doesn't help that I'm left-handed and our alphabet is designed for right-handed people.
I was gonna say it looks like a child wrote it, but I'm honestly not sure I'd do any better 😄
This a grade A wacko.
I can already see some mail-opening underling in Vatican City reading this and trying to figure out what the sender wants...
I'm guessing they get a lot of wacko mail at the Vatican.
They even believe some of it.
Isn’t it obvious? He’s “bak” to claim his realm and he needs the kings heir to affirm that he’s returned to earth. Duh.
wonderful. a British* sovcit where it makes even less sense because there is literally a sovereign ruler.
edit: or Cypriot I guess, but british birth certificate and Stamps
A disproportionate number of these cranks appear to be British expats in Greece or Cyprus.
Just when you think you have seen sovcit rock bottom you spot one with a shovel.
Nah, this guy can just swim thru the bedrock at the bottom of Minecraft.
Tell ya what I think boo. I think I need to start scamming sovcits, Christians and MAGA. Why am I not getting rich off these idiots?!
Considering starting a company more than once.
"I've navigated the system and never need to work again. Join me for my 10 min low production value videos where I explain how I did it. Only $300 pay per view which I need for reasons unrelated to the fact that I apparently claimed my millions correctly and still want cash"
Only $300 because not just anyone is clever enough to participate and I want only the best and most clever investors working with me.
Why hello busines partner
“Partner” is a very exclusive title in my circle, and I reserve it only for the most discerning investors, who want to climb to the upper echelons of personal wealth. But you seem like just the right kind of person to me, perhaps I can expedite your application - shall we say a small $10k donation to my charitable foundation?
Great, where's the postage stamp i need to sign over, and do you understand agreements with nautical carriers?
(I cant even drop to this level of stupid when I'm trying)
I don't see why not. Sell ear bandages that you've dripped melted chocolate on and say it's from Trump's ear.
You don't even need to scam them. They're posting their full birth certificate on Facebook
The closest I ever got to persuading a flat earther is pointing out that the guy he's getting his mystical nonsense from was trying to sell him a $300 pdf to teach him to open his third eye.
Mmmm that about what I pay the doctor to jam a finger up my...third eye.
Letters to Santa are getting real out here.
he struck his last name from his birth certificate, but still left it (or some form of it) written in his letter to the Bishop of Rome at the top in the "from" line.
dumbass.
edit: also, i can't exactly determine what this person is hoping to accomplish here (other than to obtain the signature of the Bishop of Rome). What does he believe that his signature will prove, exactly? That he is, in fact, alive? And how will this be achieved, precisely? also, in what way will it establish him as "a foreign entity" and/or "not a Government citizen"?
A lot of sovcits believe that they are secretly owners of massive amounts of land and gold for one reason or another(reparations, obscure and outdated contracts with Native American tribes, schizophrenia, etc)
They believe that being a citizen of their country means that their parents accidentally waved their right to these resources when they were born, and if they simply separate themselves from citizenship, then the government will be forced to give them the land and money.
Why does this persons handwriting look like a 10 year old?
Most people don't write much nowadays, so probably lack of practice. That said, he's older than me, and everyone I know has way better handwriting
24 years old? Sounds about right.
Homey is stoned as fuck. Back in the day it was harder to publish one’s batshit rantings to a global audience.
1990 was 34 years ago
Ach. That’s much worse then.
What a dumbass, he actually needs it signed by Pepe.
Oh come on, this is just a 5 year olds fantasy documents. Yeah, I know it's not, that makes it just so cringy and painful; how can you make this and not think that the receiver will hang this on their fridge?
I'm so confused (I mean, surprising?), why does the letter have a stamp, and why did he send it to Cyprus?
I think he’s from Cyprus.
Is a UK stamp. And the birth certificate says from Croydon. Pretty sure cypress doesn't use British stamps
I understood very little of the text on that picture, can someone clarify?
It's from a person named Demetri to the pope informing him that he has returned to earth, which I presume is crazy person speak for 'I was born'
He kinda says that because he is created by God and part of God that the pope works for him kinda.
He requires a signature on a document, I think basically saying the pope agrees he was born and is now a person? The birth certificate covers the stated consequences of the popes' decision to sign or not within the given 40-day window. I thought for a moment it said if the pope refuses 'I taze' but alas he said 'take' so no idea what was planned.
He wants to use this signed document from the pope in official situations, especially to 'prove' he isn't a normal citizen that has to pay taxes and license his car but is instead his own personal country that can do whatever he wants and gets free money for.no reason.
An interesting version of gnosticism.
They said Jesus was crazy, too, and look at all the shit it led to for thousands of years. Can we just learn our lesson and give "Dimitriou" whatever he came back for to avoid the drama?
Yeah it would be from Croydon.