this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] boydster 278 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It's for... a personal project.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago

Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn't have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?

I am shocked and dismayed.

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[–] [email protected] 175 points 4 months ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 4 months ago (3 children)

That wasn't really a thing in medieval times. I'm afraid an axe will have to do.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago

Of course! It's the superior siege engine.

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[–] [email protected] 104 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days

[–] Tar_alcaran 35 points 4 months ago (11 children)

Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year "off".

[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time

[–] Tar_alcaran 32 points 4 months ago (6 children)

I mean the reality was that the time "off" was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you'll quickly realize it's a LOT of work.

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[–] ArbitraryValue 87 points 4 months ago (6 children)

My non-joke answer is apprenticeship. Kids could actually learn how to do a valuable job rather than graduating from high school with almost no useful skills.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)

TIL that the US doesn't have apprenticeships. We have them over here in Australia, for the usual trades. But we also regulate a lot of those things - we're not allowed to handle our own electrical work if we're not trade qualified.

How does it work in the US, if a kid wants to become, say, a plumber?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Thats not medieval, thats everywhere exept the US of A.

Where I live, apprenticeships are officially regulated and for many proffessions you are not allowed to open a business without proper qualification.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

Our leaders fighting in the wars they start.

You wanted it... go fucking get it cowards.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 4 months ago (7 children)
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[–] [email protected] 75 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] captain_aggravated 24 points 4 months ago (4 children)

guillotines are renaissance era.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Giant shirtless executioners then, I guess.

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 4 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 68 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 66 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Peasant uprisings, to take down the kings of today.

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 4 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Cloaks would be cool. I know that's more of a fantasy aesthetic than a medieval one but they are cool enough that it shouldn't matter.

[–] Leg 27 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I have a cloak vendor bookmarked. I haven't pulled the trigger because I don't know if I wanna be the cloak guy, but dammit I want a cloak.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You can't just say this without posting the link to the cloak vendor!

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Medieval aesthetics also really had cloaks, but big detached hoods were more common.

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[–] paskalivichi 44 points 4 months ago

Guillotines for kings

[–] [email protected] 44 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Catapults, just to irritate the trebuchet people.

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[–] explodicle 44 points 4 months ago (8 children)

Inns, especially if they've got an enormous pot of perpetual stew, and people are giving out quests.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (6 children)

The stockade is something we desperately need. Some people need to learn how other people see them. Driving 50mph in a living area, stockade. Making a lot of noise at 6 in the morning, believe it or not, stockade. Being a racist cunt, straight to the stockade.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (14 children)

Trebuchets - the superior siege engine. (Disclaimer: probably not medieval)

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago (9 children)

Dueling. I say we use it as an option to reply to a civil lawsuit. Able bodied adults only, no proxies, and if you refuse then you have to do a trial and they can weigh your refusal as evidence against you.

Swords only, no guns.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Royalty and nobility taking part in actual on-the-ground warfare. I'd be curious if that would have any effect on military operations...

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[–] xmunk 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Mandatory longbow training for yoemen and yoewomen. Let's get those skills trained up in case we're ever facing a charge of French knights.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

Receiving land for farting good.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Fucking guillotines already

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Sorcery, alchemy, soothsaying, baby. Come one come all I'll cure what ails you. I'll summon portals and turn lead into #gold.

Or maybe the town crier. Hear ye, hear ye, elon musk hast tweeted about his balls.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

Kings, plagues, private armies (more late medieval and renaissance, but you get the idea), career military with hi-tech weapons tearing apart barely armed peasants. Idk, OP, seems like we got almost everything covered

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Random pedestals with swords driven into them lol

[–] [email protected] 34 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Maybe a system where strange women lying in ponds distributing swords might actually be better

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I guess we could use a little ice age right around now, and it would also be nice to have a Renaissance around the corner.

Someone said inns and taverns, and yes it's a missing piece of housing here - long term hotels with food, bars/restaurants with rooms to rent above.

Not much though, it is not a time I'd visit.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Weird ass slices in public parks everybody has to garden in. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open-field_system

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

Bathhouses. The local Quicklee's just doesn't do it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (5 children)

Doug Rushkoff had a talk where he called out local currency as a thing he’d like to bring back from the medieval.

Exclusive to the community, and only valid for a short period of time, so you can’t hoard it or siphon the wealth to another community.

Edit:

Found a blog post about it: https://archive.rushkoff.com/articles/local-money.html

It doesn't say anything about it being temporary, although he does mention that in his talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRWzOdUiqQE

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