this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
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[–] Eol 171 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Hopefully via a willy wonka type event.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (2 children)

This needs to be the plot of a new "The Wizard" remake.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Five young recruits find the five golden Switch cartridges.

Recruit 1 is walloped by a big tie-wearing gorilla after eating its entire banana hoard.

Recruit 2 grows too big after eating a prototype actual Super Mushroom and turns into a Toad.

Recruit 3 is rejected after touching the Triforce and being sucked into the Evil Realm.

Recruit 4 loses an IRL series of WarioWare games played in a giant replica TV.

Recruit 5 is hired after returning the free Switch 2 prototype they were given despite initially being rejected for painting graffiti on the wall with Splatoon paint.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm already on AMCs website, trying to preorder my ticket, and emailing customer service about why they haven't started accepting preorders to a movie that hasn't even been conceptualized yet.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

You have to buy amiibos to have a chance of finding one. Everybody knows that.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Just a bunch of kids eating mushrooms and playing with fire.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Soooooo........like, just the average childhood experience in the 80s?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

90s: remove mushrooms, add fireworks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Also the campground at any Phish show.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

walking with a cane and rolling up to the gates and everything

[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Hopefully not to some trust fund MBA cunt

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Mario Maker 3 will be the foundation of every Mario title from here on out - it's Mario As A Service! Levels will be generated and stored in the blockchain, as NFTs, so you can make, sell and trade rare levels! Make your levels memorable by describing them to our AI Waluigi, who will take your descriptions and generate a level for a mere 13 USD worth of Platinum Nintencoins, tradeable on Coinbase soon! Don't forget to keep your Gold Nintencoin balances topped off to make sure you have the best chances to get rare powerups! Try downloading our new companion app so Princess Peach can watch you use your phone and listen to your real-life conversations. If she likes what she hears, you'll get free Nintencoins, so be sure to become a top Brand Ambassador for the best value! Wow MBA-level business sure is amazing! It's weird that we keep losing customers though... can we make it illegal for customers to leave us, please? I learned in business school that getting what you want is just a matter of killing the right whistleblowers.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Each line you’ve written has sent a new chill down my spine, well done 😂

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

"What super mario needs is LOOT BOXES!!! Yes, you jump and hit the question box, and now you can pay for a fire flower. If not, you get a coin!"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You know what Mario needs? An AI companion!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

This whole thread makes me so mad. Well done.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Can’t wait for the Fortnite x Mario x Starwars collab…

[–] [email protected] 39 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It would be nice if he handed it down to somebody who wasn't such a jackass about emulators and leaks, but Nintendo is notoriously abusively litigious, like worse than Disney, so I'm not going to get my hopes up.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's not that sort of hand-down. Miyamoto isn't in charge of Nintendo as a whole; he just heads some of the creative departments. The legal/business end of things are still going to be largely under Furukawa.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (3 children)

The legal/business end of things are still going to be largely under Furukawa.

Oh, so this guy?

Yup, he def looks like a no fun asshole

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

He looks like that weirdo pervert character in every hentai

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

LOL, he definitely gives off "hall monitor" energy. But for what it's worth, he is 20 years younger than Miyamoto, so maybe he's still in the cards.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Strong "the meeting will continue until I have broken you" energy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Plot twist. Disney buys Nintendo.

[–] can 12 points 5 months ago

Nintendo has $14 billion USD in the bank. They're fine.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Why is no one buying Mario Universe x Star Wars: return of the Palpatine clones? Better mark up Disney plus and park passes to keep investors happy for the next 6 weeks, our longest term plan yet.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If I win the election, I'll make the Switch DS

Idk how it'll work, but I'll figure it out

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago
  1. take two Switches
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

......you better not be from EA.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Found Phil Spencer's account

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I mean, the man is 71 years old, is probably very wealthy, and wants to have fun. Let the man retire.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I’m younger…

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I wonder if hes ever looking to retire, or if he'll continue working till he cant anymore?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Wouldn't be surprised if he's waiting to find that younger person he feels he could pass his position to so that he can finally step down and retire, but he's looking for JUST the right person.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I'll take a whack at it

[–] Tb0n3 2 points 5 months ago

How does Miyamoto hand over something he doesn't hold? He's not "Nintendo". He's important, yes, but not the company.