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submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 112 points 1 month ago

It's about what I would expect from the kind of person who buys squeezy jelly.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

I buy squeeze jelly because the campus-affiliated market that I have a meal plan for only sells jelly in squeeze bottles. Though it's nice how it saves a spoon, it's a bit of a pain to operate. Especially the grape flavor.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Shake the everliving shit out of it beforehand. Get all your aggression out. And if it's still being ornery, squeeze from the wide side.

[-] Lucidlethargy 9 points 1 month ago

A... A spoon? Why not use the knife you're using for the peanut butter?

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

It's Welch's though which actually tastes good and IIRC is owned by a growers collective not a megacorp.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Found this

National Grape Cooperative Association, a co-op of grape growers, since 1956

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[-] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

GRAPE-jelly in a squeezy, ketchup-style plastic bottle mixed with plastic bottle peanut butter in a standard-issue IKEA bowl, only then applied between two non-wholegrain, untoasted toasts.

Can someone add a YEAH, a guitar, an eagle and the US-American flag as effects?

[-] ricecake 9 points 1 month ago

Nope, that's not American traditional, and you can't put that concoction on us.

Also, it's really a stretch to call peanut butter "infamous sugar cream". It's got like 3g of sugar per 30g peanut butter. That's pretty close to just plain peanuts. It's not Nutella with it's 50% sugar content.
You avoid eating too much peanut butter because peanuts are basically little nuggets of oil with the minimum amount of fiber and protein required for them to be a solid.

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Do you toast your pbj bread? Before or after you apply the pbj?

[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Not op, but absolutely yes. Toast first, apply PB and J while still warm. If you have a toaster oven, stack the bread so the inside stays soft but warm.

Just like witn fried PBJ, you should use less PB than usual, it can get larynx glueingly sticky if you use too much, ask me how I know. Self heimlich is worth knowing.

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[-] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago

I put some peanut butter on each slice, to “waterproof” it before applying the jelly. That way, the bread doesn’t get soggy and gross.

That’s as advanced as I get with my PB&J engineering. Forget this mixing nonsense.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Just toast the bread a bit

[-] ricecake 20 points 1 month ago

I've found that gets rid of the gentle softness that I'm wanting out of a PBJ.

Grilled peanut butter sandwich is great though, but jelly demands soft and cold.

[-] clay_pidgin 6 points 1 month ago

I love a grilled PB+Banana. Like a grilled cheese, fried in butter. They're fantastic!

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I just eat it faster than it gets soggy

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[-] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago

Every day we stray further from jod.

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Choosey mons choose GIF

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[-] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago

My biggest problem is that bottle of supposed jelly.

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[-] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

Wouldn't be surprised if it actually changed the flavour a bit.

That's one way to make the "secret sauce" for burgers. Just ketchup, yellow mustard, mayo and sometimes relish. Mixing them before adding to the burger changes the taste considerably.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

My grandma used to mix the PB & J together for me when I was a kid because I didn't like peanut butter. I still kinda like it that way because it reminds me of her.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

That sounds like a completely acceptable reason to me! Grandmas are awesome!

[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

the real crime is using sugary peanut butter in a PB&J

it's so much better with regular peanut butter, the jelly is already sweet enough. I'm convinced people who use sugary peanut butter in PB&J just want candy.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This pic is some dystopic stuff. How can you eat those fake mixtures full of chemistry? Is this what people in USA eat? Even the bread looks like it would never spoil.

[-] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

https://www.labeladvisor.com/showproduct/?id=31393&section=ingredients

The palm oil is a problem ecologically, but healthwise is actually pretty decent as far as common fats go.

The bread is a shame and there's a lot higher quality available, same with jelly, though the squeeze bottle is convenient.

This kinda bread goes bad in about a week if kept air tight, or a few hours if left out.

https://www.welchs.com/fruit-spreads/concord-grape-jelly/

The jelly is made with corn syrup, but otherwise doesn't contain "scary chemicals". It contains pectin, citric acid, and sodium citrate, which are completely natural things to be in jam or jelly. Pectin is traditionally boiled from apples, citric acid traditionally comes from lemons, sodium citrate is essentially just lemon juice and baking soda.

The only dystopian bits are the corn syrup and the scale these foods are made at. Calling them "fake mixtures full of chemistry" just makes it sound like you don't know that all food is chemistry.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

No one does this. The person who posted that was just trying to make trouble

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

My father did this when I was growing up all the time

[-] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Yeah he did that right after he came back from getting some milk from the store.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

When we had field trips in early grade school, this is how they served the supplied PB&J's. I guess it kept the jelly from soaking into the bread while the sandwiches sat in a cooler for 4 hours.

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Yup, it's better for when it's gonna be sitting

Source: I've eaten an ungodly amount of PBJs in my life

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[-] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Smucker's Goober be like...

[-] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Some mechanical engineer went to a lot of effort to make that shit dispense into the jar in a stripey pattern instead of letting it mix.

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[-] MeDuViNoX 10 points 1 month ago

I mix it in my mouth with the bread, like the good Lord intended!

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

I'll do this every once in a while, this person hardly used any peanut butter though. Either that or the dye in his jelly is crazy, cuz when I do it it ends up looking like a slightly darker peanut butter. Unless I don't mix it enough? Cuz I like leaving little clumps of jelly. But then yeah, you just dip little bits of bread, or crackers, or if you're as insane as I am you just eat it like a snack.

Know what's REALLY insane though? Mixing cottage cheese and applesauce. That shit is delicious.

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[-] Assman 9 points 1 month ago

Never even considered the possibility of doing this.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

it actually sounds rather pleasant just not worth the additional effort and dishes

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

If your jam comes in a bottle…

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I did this when Smucker's "Goobers" first came out and my mom wouldn't buy it.

It's just a waste of time; doesn't affect the taste. It is however better than Goobers; it's super weird and almost plastic tasting. They did something to the jelly and use an almost candy-like peanut butter that makes it worse than the cheapest individual PB & J's. Absolutely hated it when I finally got to try it.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

now sell it for 18 usd in a café

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I like it like this sometimes

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Skip the jam and mix peanut butter with maple syrup. Works better on pancakes but in a pinch toast will do

[-] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I do this - it makes it taste better if you emulsify the jelly into the peanut butter. Qualitative differences ftw!

[-] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

A crime because they're not using strawberry.

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this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
578 points (96.5% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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