this post was submitted on 07 May 2024

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Rules for Life (mander.xyz)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

41 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In a fair fight it will win!

Vets learning how to fight dirty

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

Gotta sneak up and sucker punch em from behind

[–] [email protected] 72 points 5 months ago

Me, high as shit: Man idk the cat still looks angry...

[–] [email protected] 66 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I feel like they should have specified:

Use drugs (on the cat)

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Either will work.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

The more drugs I consume, the less I worry about performing medical procedures on the cat, so problem solved! Now where'd I leave the ketamine?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

They said what they meant.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Cats know better than to fuck with a meth head

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My mind when reading "The cat is faster and has sharper teeth and nails. It has no code of ethics or consideration for its own future": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhQPzLy5X04

[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

It can't be bargained with, it can't be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead

[–] threelonmusketeers 2 points 5 months ago

Dun-dun dun dun-dun.
Dun-dun dun dun-dun.

[–] pancakes 30 points 5 months ago

hits bong

Cat hits smaller catnip-filled bong

That seemed to work

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (1 children)

IN A FAIR FIGHT, A CAT WILL WIN

Fight dirty; punch the cat below the belt.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The cat is one step ahead, for they have no belt to punch below.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Then where's the Galaxy?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Get high and headbutt your cat.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

You are on your way to vegetarian of the year

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I love it when cats headbutt back (seemingly) way too hard, it's really expressive.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Not a "textbook". Clearly printed PowerPoint slides.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

The same advice also works on children.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Nah i could fuck a cat up easy

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago

Things you don't want to hear a vet tech say for $300

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Right?

Cats aren’t a huge threat. They are vicious but tiny. Long sleeves and gloves and the cat is done for.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Better put your Carhartt on because those little razor paws could catch a wrist and end you with one good swipe.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

they have an odd concept of a fair right though. the cat has teet and claws and can teleport. but if i use a thick towel to wrap the cat, i'm not being fair?!

[–] Mouselemming 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This is why I have a little bottle of gabapentin in the fridge. I'm fine with the scars of playful nips and accidental scratches but sometimes a gentle manicure is needed or it's necessary to get her into the carrier and go to the vet. And just in case she's ever injured, I could ease the pain before taking her in and she wouldn't struggle and maybe injure herself more. Because pain doesn't stop a cat, they just fight harder.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

We do this too. :) My maine coon has garnered a reputation at the vet. 🥲 I actually end up helping the vet since he won't bite me as hard.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

We're lucky that vets around here don't bite at all.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

In a fair fight it will win.

That is a chunk of wisdom right there. Applicable well beyond mere cats. This whole post could apply to politics.

[–] ryathal 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Fair fights are for sports.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"Something something sheer fucking will"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

I mean yeah probably best not to pick a flight with one of the most efficient predators in the world lol

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

[–] [email protected] -5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If your vet even gets in a situation where they'd "have to fight" your cat you probably wanna go to a different vet

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, sometimes cats need care and the vet doesn't really have time to gain their affection before poking them with a needle or prodding them all over. Not every cat is a fan of that, so sometimes you gotta deal with a cat who is trying very hard to claw your eyes out.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

If you can't handle them without sedative then you can't administer the sedative in the first place. If you can handle them well enough to give them a sedative shot then you could just give them the vaccine shot you wanted to in the first place

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I mean cats can be a lot harder to handle after you poke them. What if you need to give multiple vaccines? What if you need to draw blood? What if you need to touch other parts of their body to look for issues? What if you need to examine their mouth? Some cats will put up with it, some (a lot) will not. It's a lot safer and less stressful for everyone if you just use a sedative when needed.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Inhalation anesthetic. We had kitty sized masks for the cats that just wanted to hiss and spit, and we had a clear, plexiglass box for the cats that wanted to rip our faces off. Once the cat goes googly eyes, we could intubate, or just finish the procedure quickly, and get it back in a carrier to recover.

We also had a bag. It was basically a thick pillowcase with 5 zippers on it. We'd stuff the cat in, and only unzip one hole at a time.