or that the idea of turning them off is simply inconceivable (why would I turn mine off and let others make money)
If that's the issue, it seems like time-of-use rates or smart metering could be an easy solution. If the price of electricity were negative during periods of oversupply, I bet people would figure out how to disconnect their solar panels pretty quickly. This pricing model would simultaneously incentivize energy storage projects.
Yay!