this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2024
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[–] [email protected] 122 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Give it to my ADHD wife and tell her its important. it will never be seen again.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well that statement hit like a ton of bricks...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

sorry :( its harder for her to live with it than for me to deal with it.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Step 1: Unplug a network cable from my switch in the basement.
Step 2: Run up to the loft and open the chimney access hatch.
Step 3: Figure out which cable i unplugged, and pull it up 3-4 meters.
Step 4: Straighten out the paperclip and stick it inside the insulation of the cable.
Step 5: Drop the cable back down into the chimney and reconnect it.

Yes, I use my otherwise unused chimneys for cable runs.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 4 months ago (1 children)

[off topic]

Reminds of a great old movie; "A Man, A Woman, and A Bank." No spoiler, because they explain the plot in the first five minutes of the movie.

Two engineers see that a giant bank has decided to build their brand new headquarters downtown. They plan to sneak in and steal the plans for the security system before it's installed. It's much easier to break into a construction site than a completed bank.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Gonna check this movie out, thanks :)

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I’m just giving it to the detective and losing the money. The detective would do more than $100k damage to my house looking. Checking behind the drywall, under the carpet, tearing open my mattresses, opening my appliances, etc.

Cheaper to save the repair bill.

Now if they pay to fix everything, I use a hammer to open holes in every wall as a misdirection and hide it in the flooring or framing.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

If they were paying, I assume they’d pay to restore the house to the state it was in before the detective started. Whatever damage you caused would probably not be fixed.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 4 months ago

I am handing it to my toddler and saying “this is important, don’t lose it”.

Detective has a zero percent chance of ever finding it.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Turn off the power to the house

Stick the paperclip in an outlet

Turn on power to the house

When the detective goes to grab the paperclip, he dies, you take the 100k

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 months ago (3 children)

You're all fools. This is clealy posted by a detective stumped looking for the paperclip. Stop giving him ideas!

(Cut up the paperclip with wire cutters, put it in food. Eat food through the day)

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[–] the_post_of_tom_joad 34 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I would buy a few thousand dollars worth of paperclips and hide them all over the house. The detective will have to waste time verifying which paperclip is the right one while i laugh and laugh

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How are you going to buy a few thousand dollars worth of paper clips and hide them within 5 minutes?

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Eehhhhhhhh i sorta skipped over that part.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago

How honest is this detective? Perhaps one can simply offer them 50k of the resulting prize money to not look too hard.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago

Step 1. Mask the item. Change its size, shape, outline, or appearance. In this case, straighten out to be just a bit of wire. Step 2. Fight gravity. Items fall down normally, so hide it somewhere against gravity. Anywhere you couldn't normally reach is a good start. Step 3. Reach around. Hide the item in a location you can reach, but cannot see. In this case, the air return would be a good place I could reach into and hide a small piece of wire by wedging into the drywall. Step 4. Distract. Take the other boxes of paper clips and scatter them throughout the house. Welcome to the haystack. Step 5. Admit nothing. If they ever claim to have the paper clip, do not check the correct location until the time period has elapsed.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

My house was built in the early 1900s and was used to secretly store and distribute liquor to the town and surrounding areas during prohibition... that money is as good as mine.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

OP asking how to hide drugs from the police.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago

In a box of paperclips.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Filming the new series of Taskmaster already?

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago

Straighten it and snip it into 4 brad nails. Tap them into your molding at random places in the house. Preferably places with unpainted brads in it, such as stained wood molding.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Are there any rules on what you can and can't do to the paperclip?

I'm either dropping it down a register or bending it straight and putting it in a mechanical pencil.

Edit: Afterthought. Bend it straight and place it in the ink tube of a pen.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

In my paperclip tray

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tape it to the bottom of a door

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

The detective... Is he like a Clouseau or a Columbo type? If the former, I could leave it in plain sight and still get the $100k but if it's the latter, I might as well confess the moment he walks in the door because there's nowhere I could hide it he wouldn't sniff it out and make me incredibly uncomfortable as he toys with me for hours before going in for the kill.

Or I could just toss it into a drawer with a million other paperclips and he'd never know which one is the one he's looking for.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Nice try, detective

[–] [email protected] 16 points 4 months ago

Not saying. Any half-decent paperclip detective will read this thread.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Remove an outlet cover, slide the paperclip through one of the wire openings so it drops into the wall, replace cover and figure out what to do with the next 4 minutes.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nice try detective, I'm not giving you away my secrets

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[–] Ulvain 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Turn off breaker (without clock attached), unscrew a wall plate for an outlet, unbend and drop paperclip in wall, below outlet, by sliding it between the electric box and the drywall, put wall plate back, turn breaker back on, put the kettle on for a tea.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hand it to the detective and split the $100K. Less work involved for both of us.

Or, it’s going into an empty ice cube tray in that cabinet above the fridge I’ve never been able to reach.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Unscrew the hinge on a door in the house. Stick it behind, screw it back in. You could look there detective.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

If I'm allowed to straighten it, I'd straighten it and then poke it into one of those small holes in the back of the inside of a microwave oven.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

Assuming they aren't allowed to destroy your property to look for the paperclip, I've got a small hole above the shower in the apartment I'm in where I could probably get away with shoving it into.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

My magical "You'll never find what you're looking for" box of cables. The moment I've unpacked and plugged in my newly ordered one, the one I knew I had spawns back in and I'll inevitably find it and curse.

[–] captain_aggravated 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Assuming this is like a neon green and magenta paperclip with a perfectly unique appearance.

My first thought is to bend it straight and stick it down the barrel of a Papermate Sharpwriter, then put said pencil in my pen cup or something.

My next thought is to put it in one of several dozen bottles of chemicals I have around the house. Laundry detergent, fabric softener, floor polish, 3-in-1 oil, car wax, chlorox, soft scrub, etc. But if you've got 24 hours to find it you might just think to empty out all the opaque bottles.

My third thought is to climb up on my roof and wedge it under a shingle.

If that one isn't accepted, I'd see if I could get it to fit in a cat turd in Izzy's litterbox.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

When you greet the detective:

  • Slip it into the detective's pocket
  • Tape/glue it onto the detective's back
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Drop it in the ranch bottle. There's no way he'd look there and even if he did, it wouldn't be easy to see. Similar ideas would be a shampoo bottle or taped inside a drawer slide so a metal detector wouldn't work

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

glue it to a leaf. insert leaf in rain gutter.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

my ass hole, if he finds it.. i still win 😏

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Put it wherever TF the socks go that disappear after doing laundry. You’ll never see it again.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's April now.... I'd take a small piece of wood from garage, drill small hole, straighten paperclip and place inside, seal with wood putty, draw crude image of a holiday present on wood with Sharpie, poorly write "merry x-mas mommy, 1986, 2nd grade" on it, rub "ornament" on floor a bit to age, drill hole near top edge, place ornament hook and twist and reshape to mock years of use, bury it in the Christmas ornament box up in the rafters of the garage.

[–] threelonmusketeers 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's a lot to accomplish in 5 minutes!

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