this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

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[–] DoctorWhookah 59 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My dad used an expression: as fucked up as a soup sandwich. I think this is worse.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

Before seeing this abomination, I would have just imagined a clam chowder bread bowl. And those rock.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

OPENUPTHEBREADANDPUTONBEANSPROUTS

BEANSPROUTS

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

WHYDYOUPUTTHEBEANSPROUTSONTHESANDWICH

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

This article about them is pretty hilarious in spots.

We would dutifully order our sandwiches and about ten seconds into eating his, my dad, with some gooey bean sprouts hanging out of one corner of his mouth, would get this look on his face like he had just chugged some unadulterated lemon juice mixed with vinegar. “See,” my mother would chide him, “you don’t like them.” Nevertheless, we’d find ourselves back at Salem Lowe the following winter.

But here’s the thing. I wouldn’t say that I love the taste of a chop suey sandwich either. I dare say that virtually everyone who lives on Boston’s North Shore would agree with me.

They didn’t like it and contend that no one really does, but they keep going back to order them.

https://www.aboutthemeparks.fun/p/i-got-a-chop-suey-sandwich-for-fathers

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They didn’t like it and contend that no one really does, but they keep going back to order them.

That would make for a good post theme: "Why do people keep going back for food they don't like?"

Off the top of my head I'm thinking about stuff like fruitcakes, chalk-tasting valentines hearts, candy corn for Halloween... except those all have a holiday / special day theme. Hmm...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Gotta sprinkle a little crack into the mix to get em coming back for more

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Good point in reality.
Don't some fast food joints (like McD's) add artificial flavoring agents to the hot food such that they get diffused in to the air, whetting peoples taste buds?

Point is that the food never quite tastes as good as it smells, and in fact might make you feel downright badly afterwards. Yet next time you pass by, you might just smell those delicious smells and make the same bad decision again.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maggots, Michael... You're eating maggots.

How do they taste?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I still believe

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Jesus christ, that's food?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Looks like maggots took over a cheeseburger

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

I wanted to downvote this until I saw the community it was posted to.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Are they even aware that chop Suey contains vegetables and sauce and flavor?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not even a Klingon would eat that and it looks a lot like Gagh

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

pass the unsee juice please

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Man, Maine and Oregon love having city names in common.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Massachusetts: Am I a joke to you?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

they're a joke to most

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

All five boroughs of New York City have their own Main Streets.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

BURN THE WITCH!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I, too, enjoy wet bread.

Just kidding, I don't. Because I'm normal.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Wait, is that the maggot cheese I've heard about?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Did you recently watch that Sam O'Nella about banned foods too? I had heard about that cheese before the video, but it would be a funny (and gross) coincidence that I encountered two mentions of that cheese in less than 24 hours

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Oh look, snot and worms. How delightful!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

expecting good food in New England was a mistake to begin with

[–] BananaPeal 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's good food in New England, just not this crap.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

not really. there isn't really an impressive food scene here. it's fairly one dimensional where we're essentially only good at raw or boiled seafood. anything cooked and seasoned here is asking for too much when we're majority white here and where even a majority of them are coming from countries very notable for having bland food. there are ethnic enclaves in New England but even their food id say is not great taste wise and expensive compared to other cities since New England is so white that the demand for better ethnic food is low and it's an actual challenge for ethnic food locations to source legitimate ingredients at a fair price.

[–] BananaPeal 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I said good, not impressive.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

that's fair then

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Not so sure about Maine but southern New England is awesome for pizza, bagels and sandwiches.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Portland Maine has some amazing restaurants. Not sure what that guy's talking about

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Southern New England is good for pizza? I think you're confusing. New York City with New England.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Connecticut.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

only someone from New England and not well traveled would say this though. if you've gone around the block, pizza and bagels are relatively mediocre if not borderline poor there and a coastal town that has good sandwiches is literally true across North America. so sure, if you're from Worcester or something and never gone anywhere outside of new England, then sure, southern New England has great food!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

No, in real life I’ve traveled through 45 states and lived in 10. Not from New England either. No idea what you’re talking about really, but just so you know, you’re wrong. Mainly I’m talking about Connecticut and Boston. I don’t have any illusions that there’s great cuisine in Vermont or rural Maine or some shit.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

W…why did anyone even buy this?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I didn’t realize you enjoyed eating vurms.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

This is a vomit sandwich.

You vomit before eating it, you eat vomit, and you vomit afterwards.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Double the maggots please.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

clear cause for a Sandwich Inquisition

[–] Reverendender 2 points 10 months ago

I'm probably gonna head to Fall River, MA for a chow mein sandwich instead

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago
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