515
submitted 4 months ago by Gullible to c/greentext

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go.
>Be me
>Be about a 6/10
>Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends
>Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me
>Look up and a 9/10 is running after it
>Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves
>Become very good friends
>Eventually begin dating
>Fast forward about two months
>New girl moves in
>eh about a 7/10, would boink
>Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl
>New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd
>Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous
>Fast forward two more weeks
>Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch
>Fast forward 4 days
>Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again
>wtf.jpeg
>Fast forward one more week
>Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried
>Random knock on my door, Its the cops
>Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them
>Say yes, getting more worried
>Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy

TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

top 23 comments
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[-] [email protected] 133 points 4 months ago

oh you motherfu-

[-] [email protected] 116 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 63 points 4 months ago

You know it's a good dad joke when you're literally fucking angry at the punch line.

[-] [email protected] 29 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

You knew it was fake/going to be a joke when anon got a girlfriend so easily.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

I don’t get it. Can you explain?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

It's a kids' joke. "Seven eight nine" sounds like "seven ate nine".

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Seven eight nine

[-] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Anon would be the best father

[-] ZombiFrancis 85 points 4 months ago

Man I can just feel the 2013.

[-] Gullible 42 points 4 months ago

I’d go older but compression and SEO drift have all but obliterated them.

[-] Ookami38 50 points 4 months ago

Dude. You have Stockholm syndrome. 9 was a registered 6 offender all along.

[-] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago

This is a masterpiece

[-] [email protected] 23 points 4 months ago

Goddamnit. Take your upvote and leave.

[-] RVGamer06 20 points 4 months ago

I yet have to find proofs a yandere like this exists

[-] Gullible 32 points 4 months ago

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Are you accusing School Days of lying to me?

[-] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago

What a twist!!

[-] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I'm so glad I skipped to the tldr

[-] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Oh my god. Anon was just trying to be friends and because of that, a terrible crime occurred that will change his life forever

[-] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago
[-] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

My fictional tears be flying

[-] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

It sounds like a pitch for a Takashi Miike film

[-] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

Live a good feghoot

this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2024
515 points (92.4% liked)

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