this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
379 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25948 readers
3878 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 months ago (6 children)

My wife caught my googling "why do we say baloney in stead of bologna", took a photo of it, and roasted me on Instagram. And I still don't know why.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 6 months ago

Sounds like she's a big meanie

[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Lol imagine being in a relationship like this .

My wife is my teammate and would never roast me on public permanent social media, and I wouldn't do that to her.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Maybe those two think it's funny

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Depending on how I'd take the humour I think this is fine. If my partner did this to me, it would just make it funnier to me.

Definitely don't actually bully or intentionally upset your partner of course, but depending on the banter dynamics, it could be ok.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

That doesn't seem healthy to me.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

Anybody post the answer below it?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Are the straights okay

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Because she's insecure

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Because then I can't purposely mispronounce it as "boo-log-nuh."

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

For old times' sake.

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah this one's an ancient one. I think this might actually even predate Reddit

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Yes, I remember this one from usenet back in the 90s. Although the intro may have changed to blame it on the EU.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

Sounds good to me!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Objection! If you replase ze soft C with S, Koncentration kamps bekome Konsent-ration kamps! Zis is unasseptable!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

unakseptable*

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

its literally impossible to change words. just never happens, were screwed. literally.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

i didnt; they never came in the box

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Sor we all saw it fall out of your pocket. Are you claiming you didn't bring that from home?

[–] flambonkscious 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

...maybe it's just dandruff? I dunno, but maybe they're OK...

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (2 children)

If enough people do the dictionaries will eventually change it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's already happening!

I have others I would like to change, like potatoes. Where does the e come from, how about potatos?

And handful, it should be a simple compound word, where does the other l go?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

I'd pronounce that potatoss

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Just send the Punisher to the publishers, a much faster solution.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago

I'm sure the good people of Bologna would be glad to not be associated with your baloney.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist: he's talking about the city in Italy.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

"Queue"

Just use Cue, Que or simply "Q"

...Or

QUwUe

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Well "que" is a very common Spanish word but that would probably be ok. "Cue" is already an English word with at least 2 meanings.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

"QUwUe what's this?"

"It's the line for the hotdog stand."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'll keep spelling it baloney, fite me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Are you sure you've thot about this?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I'm sure I did, it says right so in the Prostitution of the United States.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

What a bunch of baloonie... damnit

[–] pancakes 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Because then it would be too close to "balcony" and it would confuse people

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I have bad dyslexia but I think I'd be able to figure it out based on context. Balcony sandwiches would be too big and dry, and I wouldn't want to step out on anyone's baloney.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Just imagine the hero of an action moving saying that absurd shit and it's the last thing you ever see and hear.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 6 months ago (4 children)

On the same note, we should either change the spelling to "rondevoo", or pronounce rendezvous as "ren-dez-vouse", this having words pronounced entirely different from the spelling just adds confusion

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The word coming french has to do with it in this case. But to be fair, the french changed the spelling of "beefsteak" to "bifteck" to match the spelling with the pronunciation, so feel free to write "rondevoo", I guess.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

German word for cookie/biscuit is "Keks" which is adopted from "cakes"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

i imagined they'd spell it more like Käks. then i could have my Käsekäkse in peace. but to be fair i don't think i actually have seen any words spelled with -äks

[–] funkless_eck 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

U mispeld “arrr”.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Also business to bizness and busy to bizy, unless we are talking about how bus-like something is

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

There's no way around that unless we start spelling things a lot more differently around the English-speaking world. We have enough trouble with the relatively minor spelling differences between UK and US English as it is, increasing that confusion is far worse than having spelling decoupled from pronunciation.