this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
564 points (93.8% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

27147 readers
4224 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] gravitas_deficiency 270 points 10 months ago (15 children)

no nagging for a week

Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.

[–] [email protected] 69 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Look at his eyes, and look at his face... this is the trained male.

Long have nation states and governments tried to break the male, to wrangle the male into a submissive state, but none are more successful than the woman sociopath.

The female sociopath is in many ways addicted to control. Her one impulse to anything the male does is how she can turn it into her advantage, to control the male entirely.

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs, so it's up to him wether or not the pain and degradation is worth it. 4/10 males say it is.

Look at his eyes. He's truly worked for this.

[–] [email protected] 71 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs

Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.

[–] 0x4E4F 19 points 10 months ago

Listen to this guy, he knows what he's talking about

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Wtaf did I just read, and why god does it have so many up votes. Please let this be a copy pasta.

[–] 0x4E4F 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

It's a sarcastic view on what the meme depicts. We are in shitposts after all.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (14 replies)
[–] [email protected] 171 points 10 months ago (20 children)

“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

[–] [email protected] 84 points 10 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can't remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Don't slander cheese like that.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (3 children)

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I'm saving up for a toothy blowjob.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (17 replies)
[–] [email protected] 74 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Love and affection are commodities to be turned into a transaction.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

This guy capitalisms

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ricecake 73 points 10 months ago (9 children)

I'm glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I'm also amused at how many people don't know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.

Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.

[–] The_Lopen 24 points 10 months ago

I'm appalled that you actually expect me to do research on memes and not accept them at face value. Leave my propaganda addled mind in peace dammit.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 73 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 61 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Transactional.

Keeping score isn't love.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

I'd totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

"Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I'm adding the stickers myself, thanks".

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

His face tells it

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Back in my day we assumed everything on the internet was false, and we liked it.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I'd love to see him retaliate with a chart for her

[x] Stop being a cunt -> Stay Married

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ryathal 46 points 10 months ago

He realized after putting the seat down three times the nagging wasn't going to stop anyway.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 10 months ago (17 children)

No nagging for a week

This woman must be horribly annoying

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago (5 children)

This guy is 100% poisoning his kids so they can throw up

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 10 months ago (3 children)

The creepiest thing about that is how she wants her husband to be her child and still put his penis in her mouth. Fucked. Up.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?

I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (10 children)

Why you all kink shaming? Dudes a sub if I've ever seen one.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dang I don't see it as kink shame just sad shit. Sex shouldn't be a transactional coin.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I'm nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child's needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago

Sorry dude but you are most definitely not Kenough.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Holy fucking shit his face...

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 41 points 10 months ago (1 children)

do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

He's gonna give her the blow job

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

Yeah this looks like a horrible couple photo about 3 months before the inevitable divorce.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

She's gonna be pissed when the curtie next door is going down on him. He's just gonna point to the chart. Doesn't say who from?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Why'd they Photoshop her eye upside-down into his left eye?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That man's soul is screaming for help behind those eyes.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›