this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2024
512 points (96.5% liked)

Atheist Memes

5795 readers
327 users here now

About

A community for the most based memes from atheists, agnostics, antitheists, and skeptics.

Rules

  1. No Pro-Religious or Anti-Atheist Content.

  2. No Unrelated Content. All posts must be memes related to the topic of atheism and/or religion.

  3. No bigotry.

  4. Attack ideas not people.

  5. Spammers and trolls will be instantly banned no exceptions.

  6. No False Reporting

  7. NSFW posts must be marked as such.

Resources

International Suicide Hotlines

Recovering From Religion

Happy Whole Way

Non Religious Organizations

Freedom From Religion Foundation

Atheist Republic

Atheists for Liberty

American Atheists

Ex-theist Communities

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

Other Similar Communities

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

[email protected]

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Evolution is a ridiculous fairy tale! Get your head out of the clouds and live in the real world! Clearly we're all descendants of one guy! The magic sky wizard made him out of clay and then made a lady out of his rib which presumably was also made of clay! THOSE TWO PEOPLE MADE EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND THAT IS NOT WEIRD OR INCESTY AT ALL!!! MAGICAL SKY WIZARD WILL NOT BE QUESTIONED!!!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Eve is the fairy tale! Lilith came first! Revert the revisionism!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

YOU CAN'T SAY "EVOLUTION!" I NEED TO GO TO MY SAFE PLACE!!!

FATHER ABRAHAM HAS MANY SONS...

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Cassius Clay was the GOAT and I’d love be to believe that we are all descended from him.

I punch like a soggy bit of pasta though, so I’m going to have to stick with modern evolutionary theory.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

First there was Adam. Then there was Eve. Then Eve broke the one rule and doomed all of humanity (yes, both of them!) for her transgression (well, once the omnipresent and omniscient God realized what had happened, which he deduced because they were trying to hide their nakedness rather than seeing it coming before he even created humanity because that's how omniscience is supposed to work, or watching her talk to the serpent, eat the apple, and then offer one to Adam, which is how omnipresence is supposed to work) and we got kicked out of paradise into a place that sounds similar (as in it still has the animals and the plants and all that) but isn't paradise. Then Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Able. Then Cain killed Able and was exiled for it. So technically there's three people, all related, though only two of them have contact with one another.

Anyways, some time passes and all the people are wicked (possibly due to being so inbred), so obviously God wants to kill them, but there's one dude that is ok, so he's tasked with building a giant boat and filling it with just two of every single animal in existence (sorry animals, but the people (other than Noah and presumably his family, or maybe they get a pass because of how great Noah is) are wicked and God doesn't want to do a high precision genocide). Then after he somehow succeeds in this task (nevermind different geographic areas, including ones Noah has no idea even existed, having completely different animals or local variants of the same animals), humanity and the entire animal kingdom are now back to square one for genetic diversity.

But for some reason people today are more worried about nuclear weapons that can potentially destroy the planet than people in the Bible were worried about angering an active and interactive God who would occasionally brutally and spectacularly demonstrate his power in a fit of rage. But I'm starting to digress from the genetic diversity topic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Well, we do have a Mitochondrial Eve and Y-chromosomal Adam we all descend from.

They just have a 50 000 - 150 000 age difference.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

That's pretty funny when you consider creation "scientists" like Kent Hovind mocks scientists for believing that we "evolved from rocks", all because a paper he read suggested that the minerals that come from certain rocks helped life evolve which he deliberately skews into evolving directly from a rock.

It's baffling to me personally how creationists don't seem to have a problem with the fact that there was only ever one woman in the entirety of human history who was transformed from a man's rib.

If that were possible, I'd have had the perfect girlfriends years ago, AND I'd be flexible enough to suck my own dick 👌

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

If people are 70% water, but also made from dirt then you are, in fact, mud.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] Shiggles 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Given the chemical composition of dirt, we sorta are both, if you ignore the fact that “dirt” typically refers to fertile soil that only exists because of all the living things constantly dying and decomposing.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Technically we are all star dust. We are made from the fusion of atoms when supernovas exploded.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Humans are hydrogen atoms that sat around long enough to start thinking about themselves.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

All other takes should be called reductioner because this is the reductionist

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

We are nuclear waste.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Some of the dust in my apartment matches 100% of my DNA checkmate atheists!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I wonder how much of the dust in our homes is our shed skin.

I'm probably depositing micro-particles of myself everywhere, I'm disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Up to 50% of the dust in your home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Those are the ghosts of your ancestors.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

(We're not just related to apes but we are Great Apes ourselves 🤓)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

We be naked apes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Doesn't having a common ancestor still count as "related", tho?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

They said not just related, which includes being related

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I wonder how many genes we share with Bacteria in soil. Probably more than none.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

ATPsynthase is an amazing protein. Our cells use these generators to produce energy. It is pretty much what allows us to become the big hulking mass of cells we are today. Some bacteria also have this protein, but it is used for propulsion.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

From what I understand all DNA is 90% compatible because most of that is useless or very basic functions like cellular division and energy generation.

[–] emergencyfood 5 points 1 year ago

Well, the mitochondria in our cells are descended from bacteria and retain their bacteria-style genes and proteins.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I come from a land down under.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Where beer does flow and men chunder

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

And the so called "omnipotent" god couldn't have created a universe with rules which eventually led to evolution of humans.
No, he had to directly create humans as they are now, because reasons...

[–] loam 4 points 1 year ago

Only the finest loam.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

AI is descended from dirt.

[–] threelonmusketeers 4 points 1 year ago

We tricked sand into thinking.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Al was my favorite character in Home Improvement

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Whatchu know about Wilson?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wotanics believed we were carved from wood (Elm and Ash, I think). But I like the story of Promethus making us, since it implies we already had the brilliance and all we needed was a sample of fire to develop robots, engineering, space travel and genetically enhanced life forms (e.g. become gods ourselves.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I love (/s) those old stories people came up with. They probably saw a tree in the woods and experienced a moment of pareidolia then decided that humans were descended from trees.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know why anyone would want the story to be true. If it were humans aren't really from earth, we are celestial invaders who came in after everything else was setup. We don't belong here and the best thing we could do is mass suicide and murder.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I coincidentally lived with a young-earth-creationist during the summer when Kansas debated removing evolution from public schools. We debated evolution often, each absolutely convinced of our positions. It was an interesting summer.

He took me to a seminar at a church called "the truth about dinosaurs." Dinos walked with humans. Dinos are in the bible as a dragon. God is testing us with fossils. Crazy shit.

There were little kids there. That made me really angry. I wanted to argue with the presenter and wrote a bunch of notes and questions to go at him. When we spoke, after, he was super nice. We ended up talking about Macs (~1999 / 2000; Apple was close to failing for so many years prior, this was a soft-spot to win my favor and he was a Mac guy). I opted not to challenge him because there would be no point.

I wonder how many of the children in that audience are now MAGA shithead evangelists. I hate people like this. I don't hate my former roommate. He was sold lies since he was a child and, for all his intelligence, simply could not escape them. It was astounding.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Maybe copy and paste was already a thing back then

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Humans have the same number of chromosomes as an olive!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Doubt. There are thousands of olive varieties and most if not all are polyploid.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well spank my arse and call me Charlie. You were right and my scepticism was unwarranted. Thanks :)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'd say you were correct in being skeptical, that's how learning works. Changing your behavior based on new information.

load more comments
view more: next ›