this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Centrist take: If you can't get a decent sear on a gas stove you need to learn how to cook.

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[–] [email protected] 156 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?

[–] [email protected] 68 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.

[–] darkdemize 41 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

Raw.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Is it better than rum ham?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (2 children)

The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.

Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife's pussy: completely fucking dry

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 10 months ago (6 children)

That's not well done, that's congratulations.

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[–] [email protected] 71 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm only mad about what he did to that steak

[–] [email protected] 41 points 10 months ago

Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it's your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck's sake.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.

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[–] Socsa 57 points 10 months ago (1 children)

MFer figured out how to turn beef into pork

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I'm just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (4 children)

So this 'alpha' thought he could own some libs by steaming a steak?

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago

An animal died for that. At least do a good job cooking the damn thing lol

[–] [email protected] 41 points 10 months ago

*Ruined a steak

[–] [email protected] 40 points 10 months ago

I'm wondering if that's a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down

[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (5 children)

Did he boil the damn thing?!

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Somehow managed to make it look like a slice of pie.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

If this is not satire, i hope that potential Chud ate that entire fucking thing

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.

Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as "owning the libs?" "I'm gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That'll show those commies a thing or three!" Yes, I'm very "triggered" by your easily preventable deaths. Please don't kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn't go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

There is a nonzero chance that we're looking at a piece of wood

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

New tv show idea: Is It Steak?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago

Like I do not know how to cook

But I can assure you I would not be able to fuck up a meal like this if I tried

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (7 children)

In a gas stovetop I make a beautiful pan-seared, oven cooked steak. And I’m liberal.

This steak has nothing to do with what it was prepared on, just the moron who ruined good food.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Someone should publish a study that self castration is harmful and should maybe be phased out.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (8 children)

Bro

As someone who eats steaks Blue Rare

What the fuck is this?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

I think my cat eats better meat than that.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (13 children)

The only people who think gas stoves are superior are the ones who never tried an induction stove

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Gas is better than shitty electric, but induction is better than both shitty electric and good gas.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That looks like an overcooked pork chop.
And it looks disgusting.
I pity the fool that has to eat that.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It looks both over cooked but under-seared.

I have a feeling they boiled it rather cooked it in a pan.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

When you don't realize the meat thermometer is set to Celsius

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Yeah, they’re fuming, they’re fuming about how the fuckwit ruined whatever that shit on the plate could’ve been.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Nah it's the benzene and carbon monoxide that are fuming.

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