this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 months ago (3 children)

ruins warfare

ruins wood armor

ruins half the fucking military meta

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Sir I’m gonna have to ask you to display your ding dongs elsewhere

[–] [email protected] 87 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago

Wait, is this a meme template for the Complaint tablet to Ea-nāṣir? That's incredible.

[–] nuke 16 points 2 months ago

This is just like 1984

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

[ Nanni to Ea-nasir]

If only I could tell you how much distress your shipment of "goods" has caused me! I dispatched messengers to you repeatedly about the state of my delivery, but you have not responded. My household is in disarray, and our workers are idle due to the absence of these phallic dingdongs shaped like ... unusual objects.

Your representative, whom you sent to me, had the nerve to claim that they were "fine"! But I can assure you, Ea-nasir, that not one of them has been fit for use. The artisans in my workshop are all laughing at these absurd objects and have not been able to work on any serious projects due to the interruption. Even the guards who were supposed to keep an eye on them found the sight too amusing!

I implore you, Ea-nasir, to send a new shipment of proper ingots immediately! I want no more of these ... er... "unique" items that have caused such embarrassment and ridicule for my household. My reputation depends on it.

If you are unable to remedy this situation, I will be forced to take my business elsewhere. You would not want that, now would you? The people of Ur would surely hear about your inability to deliver quality goods.

In the meantime, please instruct your representative to cease and desist from any further attempts at delivering these ... unusual objects.

Yours sincerely,

Nanni

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Is this a new and improved translation?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Saving this pasta for later

[–] SomeAmateur 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well if one goes inside you you're fucked so technically yes!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

What's them, precious?