this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 9 months ago (1 children)

When I was an ordinary dumb kid, I took a bunch of cattails from a pond nearby and put them in my desk at school. Well - a couple days later, they decided to "bloom" and we had a desk inspection and when I opened my desk up, the room filled with big fluffy cotton spores. I got yelled at for a solid hour, I'd never seen my teacher so angry. And I'm like, what's the big deal?? It's free cotton candy and it's pretty!!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I like the cut of your jib.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Yeah but just don't get caught. Turns out teachers don't like having their classroom filled with fluffy seed spores.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I want to see that on video

[–] [email protected] 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

what the FUCK?! explain!!!!

[–] TheSlad 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Never played with a cattail? They are comprised of very densly compacted seeds around a central rod/stem attached with fuzzy stuff that expands remarkably when disconnected.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That's not even the worst part! First you get a mouth full of fluff, then you get an angry cat scratching your face. 0/10 would not recommend

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well there's your problem, you're supposed to stick them in your butt silly.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

(⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I wish I could tell if this was fake. But I've worked in retail before

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Always remember, 50% of the population has an iq < 100 and a significant part of the population doesn't know reflection besides their mirror alter ego.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago

You have to wait until the stalk turns brown. This should be obvious to anybody. I've literally never eaten a ripe corn dog with a green stem.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You still have to cook them silly

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Nah these babies go in the toaster

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Put toaster in fire, but that didn't seem to cook the corndog. Now what?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (3 children)

From what I've read a whole bunch of parts of those plants actually are edible, though I'm not sure if that part in particular is.

[–] Classy 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes, it is edible when young, but once the tail is brown like this it is no longer edible. Its core is composed of many tiny seeds covered in tufts of cotton-like filament that it uses to float off and germinate elsewhere.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don’t forget to mention that they’re under pressure! It’s a veritable firehose of seed, not unlike the bathroom at The Round Room.

[–] fsxylo 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I've read you can take the seeds and make bread with them. But I recommend no one try just because some Internet people are saying it's possible.

[–] TheSlad 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I storngly recommend taking one of these into your kitchen and tearing all the seeds off inside!

It will be fun trust me

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

This advice is great for anyone whose favourite card game is 52-pickup.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I've heard it's the roots that are edible, though probably best to cook them first.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

The root is not just edible, it is delicious.

You have to pick the part of the plant just below the waterline, you can just twist and rip it off or use a knife for a clean cut.

Then you remove all the green and cut the white part into small slices (like you'd cut an onion). Then fry the slices in a pan with butter, when the pieces become translucent they're done. Add a little dash of pepper, salt and few drops of lemon juice.

The taste is a bit "almondy", it's great with fried halloumi or beef.

The best time to pick the roots is before Midsummer, after that they're not as tasty.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

That does sound tasty.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

The whole plant is edible it’s just not all palatable all the time

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

Post a picture with a bite mark, coward

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Mustard is the superior condiment and yes I’ll drive to your house and argue with you in your front yard about it.

[–] Imgonnatrythis 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sure if you are out of cheese sauce I guess.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

But is cheese a condiment or a separate food item?

[–] Imgonnatrythis 10 points 9 months ago

I'm American so it's both

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I did not dispute mustard at all. Ketchup and mustard can live in harmony, can't they?

Can't they?.. 😭

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

🤝 indeed they can

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

That's what you get for not choosing beaver brand

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Corndogs for the pickin'

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Me want bite!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And I wish they would do something about those big mints that they put in the urinals. They taste terrible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Cake is supposed to be sweet! Whoever made those damn urinal cakes sure loves piss flavoring...

My criticisms to the chef for sure!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Why was it this post that reminded me I never finished Red Dead Redemption 2?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

You have to cook it until the stick turns brown, obviously