this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
882 points (98.0% liked)

internet funeral

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[–] [email protected] 80 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Is this one banana per employee? Or one banana and they have to fight over it?

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago

Probably some sort of banana split.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago

Banana Royale

[–] [email protected] 61 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's a banana, how much could it cost?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

only a few years ago, about $20 each.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago

This is especially funny for me because here, in India, β€œgetting a banana” means you got nothing / got fscked over :)

[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago

Relevant story time:

One time, as a warehouse manager, I wanted to get the overnight shift some fruit to snack on during the shift. We had like 100 people there. So I drove to a grocery store at like 11PM and bought pretty much all of their fruit. The cashier was extremely confused. Also, I drove a mini Cooper so it was absolutely packed floor to ceiling with apples, oranges, bananas, and some other stuff.

I didn't want to carry it all in so I drove my car into the building at the start of the shift.

So my hundred or so employees show up to work then see me rolling into the building with a mini Cooper just bursting at the seams with fruit. It was a fun way to start the night for everyone.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (5 children)

My last job had a "wonky" fruit subscription for us to grab. Took home a whole pineapple once.

They also treated us like people and paid a living wage... But PINEAPPLE!!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (2 children)

How does that even happen? Did the pineapples go on discount that week and Dave from accounting thought "why not"?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Sometimes they put them on sale for $1 and then I find myself with a whole pineapple sitting around in my kitchen so yeah I think you're spot on with that theory

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

It was a subscription from a company we already bought from, they sold fruits and veg that weren't pretty enough for supermarkets, but were great for cooking, baking, and in our case, brewing. Most of the times it'd be apples and citrus, but one box had a whole pineapple. I was the last one out that day and no one had taken it... So PINEAPPLE!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Sounds like a lovely workplace ngl

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Someone's too good for a free banana...

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

Bitch pay me enough to buy a banana myself and you won't have to do this

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

Thank you for making the company thousands of dollars today. Here is 11 cents

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Next Snack: Peanuts (2)

Upcoming Snack: Crumbs... (mystery)

Thanks for your contributions! -HR

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

Should be

"Crumbs (assorted)"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Hey free banana is a free banana

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You have been promoted to junior assistant manager, acting.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Free banana and a promotion? Noice

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

The Amazon campus has free banana vendors that anyone can just walk up and take a banana, even if you don't work there. They almost always had extras.

I used to walk past one on my way home and would snag one if there were any left for the day.

This "perk" is something Amazon literally threw away every day.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

"Banana for scale" takes on a whole new meaning here.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago

What is this, some elementary school?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Literally treating their workers like trained monkeys

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I don't particularly fancy the taste of bananas but I still eat them occasionally because I appreciate their nutritional value.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I wish that the Gros Michel variety of banana could be grown outside of select greenhouses. If you've ever had banana pudding, or artificial banana flavoring, you know what a Gros Michel tastes like. If you want to have a banana that tastes that good though, they are an average of $96 a bunch. Cavendish bananas may look nice, but they have no flavor. I personally don't care for them or Misi Lukis.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Don't forget to bring a lawyer to the food court, if you want the banana that is.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Available 9am until 7pm

That's quite a time span! Damn, your employer seems to appreciate your work very much! Get your banana, but there is no need to hurry. Just take your time and enjoy the anticipation

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Get banana at 9am. Remain at banana stand Use banana for time scale Proceed to Eat banana slowly Finish banana and leave at 7pm Claim 2 hours banana overtime

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah a pension and benefits are great, but banana is banana.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Think outside the banana on this one.

One banana per slip and fall workmans comp claim.

They are really offering extra paid vacation time.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I hate bananas. So thanks a whole fucking lot, boss.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If you don't like banana, you're free to pick any of the fruits listed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What about a pack of 1989 Batman Movie trading cards?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, they're 34 years out of date you can't have any.

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[–] Gallardo994 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

So we finally got the answer for the "where banana" question, can't complain

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Oh so managment is allowed to offer them a banana, but when I do it it's ""sexual harassment"" or whatever. smh double standards

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Last year at my warehouse they gave us all half a cookie in appreciation of all our hard work... I keep wondering when we will get the other half. They pay us a really good wage so I don't mind if it's Bananas or half a cookie.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Funny but I don't think it fits the sub

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

EMPLOYEES! Eat banana! EMPLOYEES! Work for banana!

What a nightmare poster that is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

A banana, so you can go fuck yourself

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Must be from the place with all those monkeys on typewriters. This is where they write the Marvel movies.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Need a banana for scale

[–] DestroyerOfWorlds 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

how big is the banana? what am I supposed to use to measure the banana? banana is the scale! I need answers!!!! why is this happening to me?!?!!!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Makes sense. The proletariats are monkeys. That's their food /sarcasm.

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