this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 262 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"Florida Man With 91 Felony Charges Worried He Might Serve Prison Time."

[–] [email protected] 139 points 11 months ago (7 children)

“Several millions of Americans worried he won’t”

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

I hope it's a few more than several...

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[–] ImFresh3x 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Only 91? Shit. AZ state and NJ federal indictments need to get here soon.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is the NJ federal case about him stealing documents as well?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The audio recording of him allegedly showing off classified docs and admitting he hadn't declassified them took place in New Jersey.

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'd be okay with him going into exile in North Korea.

yeah. let him torture Kim for a while.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (10 children)

The realistic conclusion to that would be Trump spilling Top Secret info to North Korea. If not willingly, then via torture. But let’s be honest: It would probably be willingly.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Honestly, I don't think he has the awareness or attention span to be an accurate mole if he's limited to working from memory.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Lol absolutely. Can you imagine Trump trying to recite government intel from memory?

"So the document said bigly assets were all all over the country. My uncle, college professor in the nuclear


Hillary! Can you believe that, folks? Hillary. Johnathan Trump, went to MIT did the thing, this and that. Tremendous, it was tremendous this government secrets I am telling you now."

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I think Guantanamo would be more appropriate.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I was solidly in that boat for a while too, but seeing how many of his co-conspirators are tripping over themselves to testify against him lately gives me hope.
That's the problem with surrounding yourself with shady people who only have their own interests in mind. They're not loyal to him, he only kept them around because they told him what he wanted to hear, and they only told him what he wanted to hear because it helped them advance their own personal interests.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (7 children)

I'll believe it when I see it. We will never see him behind bars. Two tiered justice system.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

Absolute best case is house arrest imo, and I'm sure his lawyers will make sure it includes the entirety of his resort, so basically nothing will change

I'd love to be wrong, but I don't think I will

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My hope is that he lives for another 5 or 10 years in solitary confinement.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (8 children)

he probably wouldn't last a year in solitary.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 11 months ago (1 children)

“When you guys put somebody in the car and you’re protecting their head, you know, the way you put their hand over?” Trump said, miming the physical motion of an officer shielding a suspect’s head to keep it from bumping against the squad car. “Like, don’t hit their head, and they just killed somebody — don’t hit their head,” Trump continued. “I said, you can take the hand away, okay?”

I hope the prison guards remember this, it's only fair.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Yes, I'm sure Rolling Stone has excellent insights into Trump's private fretting.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (6 children)

I predicted he would die in prison when he clinched the GOP nomination in 2016- there was no way, I decided, he wouldn't abuse his office and break a shitload of laws. The last 6 years has been a rude reminder that I seem to have wildly overestimated the capacity and will of America's political and law enforcement establishments to hold anyone like him accountable for even the kinds of crimes he's confessed to on the record.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I believe the term is known as “shitting bricks”

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (4 children)

“They really don’t like me, they’re mean… they’re trying to send me to prison. They’d have done it too, though.”

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wtf. I can’t tell if this is a direct quote or you’re just making shit up for lolz.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

It was me making shit up for lulz. but I like to think it's something he's muttered in the mirror. Instead of the "Gosh Darnit, People like me"

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I think it's important to cover his trials but I wish we'd ignore these articles which are rooted in gossip and nothing more. It's just clickbait.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Apparently he just "ordered" congressional GOP members to shut down the government so they can't fund the DOJ lmaooo someone is getting desperate.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So how does secret service work here

I assume he'd go to the lowest security safest place ever

[–] eestileib 31 points 11 months ago (3 children)

More likely he'd go to an insanely high security place, he can't be trusted around other people.

ADX Florence is built for exactly that kind of prisoner: spies, terrorists, etc.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (9 children)

I think the chances are that he'll be on house arrest in Mar-a-lago. He deserves supermax, but when has what people deserve been relevant in the criminal "justice" system?

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

If someone tells you they cannot let something enter their mind, that means they are thinking about it constantly.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

Thoughts and prayers, 45.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

What if he turns into a devout Muslim in prison?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (1 children)

For that to happen he'd have to be capable of worshiping something other than himself.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (3 children)

club fed. that’s where you go when you commit federal crimes. he’ll still hate it.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (6 children)

I'm waiting for a Hallmark Channel redemption arc for him. He goes to prison, slowly befriends his fellow cell mates and empathizes with them, and emerges a changed man who gives up his fortune in order to fight the injustices against the common man.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Because prison always turns people into a better version of themselves

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (3 children)

It’s hallmark fiction, so yeah. Also, he gets back with Melllania who dumped him, and they raise happy, perfect kids together.

Also this all happens at Christmas time because they ran into each other in line for a street vendor selling pumpkin spice lattes

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[–] prettybunnys 11 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Someone swap his blow with some Molly and see if he feels something for a change

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

I still have more faith in vigilante justice; legal just will continue to spin its wheels in the mud until he succumbs to his decades long suicide-by-cheeseburger. Our official resources have thus far proven to be less than worthless.

I'd be fucking delighted to be wrong, though!

...then again, Trump seems to be fracturing the hell out of the GOP, so keeping him as a wrench in the spokes isn't without a silver lining, albeit unsavory.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You know what I never worry about? Going to prison. I'm able to not worry about that because I don't go around breaking laws.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (10 children)

He'll likely be playing tennis at minimum security Club Fed if it's federal, but Georgia doesn't seem to do special treatment. If he goes in on Georgia state charges, he could end up in a for real penitentiary.

[–] prole 11 points 11 months ago (9 children)

I'd be shocked if he gets anything more than house arrest

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[–] prettybunnys 11 points 11 months ago

I publicly fret he might not… but also publicly hope he does

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

The smallest but most significant joys are things like this headline

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