Wait, the dog doesn't like Matt? That's a huge red flag, Emily. Dogs know. Take it seriously.

Jokes aside, one of the best deterrents to break-ins is a dangerous-seeming dog.

100% effective dragon and vampire repellant too.

99.999 recurring % lol

Peer reviewed by my neighbour's dog. She'd probably add "even if you see no threat, and even if you don't give a fuck about humans, it's better to bark anyway just to be safe". Except in posh paper speech.

LOL, that was my Akita when grandma (mom) took him. Long story, couldn't keep him any longer. "Shalafi, I am NOT going to take that dog!" Well, she did. 130lbs. of black bear wandering around the house.

After hip surgery: "Oh Shalafi! He's just too big! He might knock me down!" Guess who got knocked down when I came home to visit. Beast knocked me flat while not laying so much as a whisker on her walker. Didn't so much as brush her walker with that monster tail. In a 8'x 8' entryway. That was something to witness. From the ground.

"Oh he just barks and barks when strange men come around the house! I don't know what to do with him!" Yeah, bet you hate having a dog with the lungs of a dragon going off at "strange men about the house". 🙄 Yoshi sounded like some Resident Evil shit going down on the other side of the door.

He did stress her out by plopping down on the freezing concrete patio and refusing to come in, even covered in snow. "Mom, they were raised in northern Japan to hunt bears. He's LOVING this!" LOL, did not compute for her.

And being an Akita, he was perfectly patient and loving with little ones. Slammed a bottle of gin and cried forever the night mom told me he was gone. Gods I got funny stories about that animal.

Bad news: this article was retracted for fraud after the journal discovered the author wasn't actually a dog.

Time to go home, Matt U ಠ ಠU

not enough about barking!

Chewey Words not Keywords