As a DM it is important that you make sure plan it so that the next encounter after the mage learns fireball is in a small room.
this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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As a player, I loved it when the DM would have secondary fires burning as part of the effect. It's really fun when your actions change the world.
But then the building might collapse. π€·ββοΈ
(Which is also fun)
The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault.
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn, motherfucker, burn.
Dresden Files for the win, that's one of my favorite story openings.
The rogue did it. We all saw her. She's always burning things.
Reminds me of that one time the village in the forest of spiders asked for our help against the resident spider queen.
We defeated her. And her spiders. And her whole castle. And the entire forest.
The village was forced to relocate elsewhere. The king of a nearby kingdom allowed them to settle in his lands, but they had to traverse the desert to reach their destination. They never discovered it was our fault.
On the bright side, we got the chance to loot their abandoned homes. Plenty of things the villagers couldn't carry in their odyssey through the desert.
Fun times.
Task failed successfully!
Your party is an eldritch horror.
"Be careful what you wish for"
It's not even the worst thing we did.
A group of low-level bandits, desperate to raise some money for their families, attempted to rob us. I'm pretty sure the DM was expecting us to talk them down and start their side quest.
We mercilessly killed them, taking our time to do so. My warlock locked one of them in our pocket dimension and waited for him to die of asphyxiation, then resurrected him, and killed him with again Finger of Death (which turns the victim into a zombie permanently under the caster's control).
It became my vassal and I treated it like a high-ranking officer. Gave it a nice-looking helmet, too. We had a lot of fun together. During the final battle, it led my undead army (Danse Macabre upcasted to 9th level for shits and giggles) to victory.
I shall not talk about the Fighter and Rogue's treatment of their respective bandits. I would normally say that death is a better outcome than eternal servitude as an undead, but I'm not sure that's the case here.
We also bullied the nicest NPC ever to grace our table into becoming a Paladin of Vengeance, but that's a story for another day.
2000 years later, their descendants would still wear little spiders around their necks and put fake cobwebs above their beds.
70's grade?
"Help us, step-wizard! There's a 40' circle drawn on the ground and we can't get out!"
ETA: My idea, poorly expressed, is that you don't have to single out 70's porn for bad acting. There is plenty of bad porn acting yet today.
I don't think step-sibling porn was that popular in the 70s ...
Exactly my point. Any period of porn acting is at that level. It certainly hasn't improved from the 70's.
That's a recent quote, appearing around 2010 I think.
People in the 70's were actually performing quite well in their porn, the film rolls were expensive, the morals were still very much conservative, and they were calling it 'art' and hiring big name Hollywood actors.
The most expensive porn movie ever is Caligula, with a budget of $17.5 million, and it was released in 1979.
Cheap porn is a recent trend, because, well, no jerking off in the cinema, so the distribution is limited to streaming, plus porn was customarily pirated for a long long period, and not much protected by courts.
The definition of pornography has changed over time. Caligula might have been considered pornography AT THE TIME, but by modern legal definitions, I don't think it passes. Even the extended version with penetration, because the film isn't "intended to arouse" and also does not "lack serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value".
That's interesting. Does that mean that something like Monster Girls anime is acceptable for big-screen cinema, because it includes enough fantasy elements (and exotic body parts) to be considered artistic? It's still very much "intended to arouse", does the movie need to match both criteria to be considered porn?
There was this Supreme Court case in 1973 "Miller v. California, during which the Supreme Court basically decided that it has to be obscene in order to be considered pornography, and then the question became, "What is legally considered to be obscene?" From that case we derive something called the "Miller Test", which has three criteria:
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Whether "the average person, applying contemporary community standards", would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest.
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Whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct or excretory functions specifically defined by applicable state law.
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Whether the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.
For a something to be considered pornographic, it must be ALL THREE criteria, with the first two criteria being left in the hands of local ordinances and governments, and the last being left sort of up to interpretation depending on a locality's culture and values.
Well, I consider Backdoor Sluts 9 to be a work of art, so I guess it's not porn?
Would "the average person" agree with you?
The average person has one testicle, so who knows?
Yeah, I'll agree that porn actually tried to do acting and storytelling back in the 70's. I miss it, kinda, but I think the pacing of having to watch 100 minutes of film for 5-6 7-minute sex scenes probably wouldn't fly today. In fact, I really agree with your whole comment.
My point (if I had one, it was more of a quip) was that singling out the 70's for particularly bad porn acting isn't necessary.
I do find it humorous there was such a reaction to my comment, but I like when posts lead to interaction and not just silent up-/down-votes.
Also, I think Pirates! is considered to be the most expensive porn with a budget of $1 million. As MnemonicBump said, that's probably due to changing definitions.
I'd love to see a limited return of high-brow porn, though.
"And we're sooooooo evil! We don't have any friends, family, loved ones, children, pets, or other responsibilities! Here we are, a victimless crime waiting to happen!"
Played an epic-level campaign where the players started at level 20 and they really didn't understand their own strength which led to shit like using an explosion spell in a tiny, unstable cave and getting trapped after it collapsed. But hey! They managed to kill a shitton of goblins in a single turn!
Oh, blackness shrouded in light,
Frenzied blaze clad in night.
In the name of the crimson demons,
let the collapse of thine origin manifest.
My bard loved slamming a fireball up a group of goblins asses
Chased a baddie into a room where they proceeded to fire ball said room. Only thing that saved me was being a half orc war cleric.
Sorry to be that guy. This is a repost lol
Itβs the first time Iβm seeing it. Iβll allow it
10 months is enough of a cool-down time for this meme.
That one is a higher quality image, too.