this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Stressing that the billionaire’s completely erratic behavior had strained the already fraught relationships, sources confirmed Thursday that a rift was widening between Elon Musk and anyone who had ever met him. “Elon’s megalomania and tendency to lash out indiscriminately seem to have soured things with every person he’s encountered in his entire life,” said an anonymous source close to the embattled tech mogul, adding that Musk’s staunch refusal to engage in self-reflection or address his many off-putting personal tics had so far estranged him from the White House, his business partners, his neighbors, the mothers of his children, the children themselves, interviewers, investors, restaurant waitstaff, and all others who had directly interacted with him in any manner for any length of time. [...]

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 days ago

The source added that while the acrimony between Musk and everyone he had ever met was likely irreversible, the falling out had only strengthened his relationship with ketamine.

This line made me chuckle aloud. Great ending.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As someone who has never met him, I'm pretty sure the rift between us is widening, too.

[–] taladar 1 points 2 days ago

Same here, and that is despite the fact that I am not entirely sure how inequalities with distances like infinity and infinity + infinity work.

[–] Jiggle_Physics 10 points 3 days ago

The only part of this that is satire is that there was anyone in circles close to Elon having enough of their own self reflection to say things like "Musk’s staunch refusal to engage in self-reflection or address his many off-putting personal tics had so far estranged him from the White House" to be interviewed this way

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (3 children)

This "(g)rift" was predictable. Musk intends to try to win over the left again & will start claiming he has evidence against Trump. Please don't take the bait.

[–] QueenHawlSera 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Someone else has "Elon Musk becomes a Lefty after falling out with Trump but no one buys it." On their Bingo Card too

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

he wont garner anymore support than his current fans.

[–] taladar 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

His current fans might just be dumb enough to buy it and start hating him too over him becoming 'woke'.

[–] QueenHawlSera 1 points 1 day ago

Indeed. I pretty much expect his left ward pivot to be the end of his relevance

[–] FATALRPG 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think anyone would buy it. It would be funny and pathetic though.

Like, he’d have to make some conciliatory statement towards Vivianne and there’s just too much sex pest shit. The Left isn’t innocent of overlooking sex pest and the Curtis Yarvin insane shit, but not to Elmo’s level.

[–] QueenHawlSera 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Thing is. At this point I'm certain Elon Musk is a closet transgirl and s/he will pivot left for that reason

Edit: I'm sure if Elon reaches out to Vivian she will reject him

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

You'd think a seig heil would permanently burn that bridge, but we dumb.

[–] jballs 4 points 2 days ago

Yeah this whole thing is 100% Elon going "Oh shit... turns out that it was the left who bought my cars. Better try to salvage that relationship with a few meaningless tweets."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Has Musk made any specific suggestions for "big beautiful bill"?