Reasons I hate hedges. Plenty of bushes that have leaves throughout and are genuinely flexible throughout, not to mention fruit-bearing, but noooo, let's plant this garbage everywhere because it holds its shape and makes a cheap "wall".
this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2025
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I've found out the hard way by jumping off my roof into one as a kid, they're also not that strong and won't catch you as you plummet straight through the hedge.
Also, on a side note, umbrellas do not slow you down and hurt like fuck when they hit you in the face.
If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.
That song is why I ended up doing so much dumb shit to my body, also constantly watching jackass and cKy really didn't help.
Also, on a side note, umbrellas do not slow you down
but have you tried two umbrellas?
Of course, the second one tends to smash into your legs leaving bruises that your teacher confuses for being hit by your parents and they have to go in and explain that their son is a fucking dumbass who jumps off roofs with umbrellas.
I also attempted three, but its hard to hold three.
The trick is to hold the third with your teeth
Where were you 20 odd years ago? I might have succeeded with this information!
username checks out
You think I chose this because it's funny? It's a very apt description of me.
speak for yourself, all my organs are soft and fatty
Mine are all green.
by any chance, were you born with a heart that's two sizes too small?
Until I listened to the Pretty Reckless, then it grew.
I saw them live not long ago, they opened for AC/DC!
Had a hedge removed recently, and was surprised at what we found inside: half a dozen Nerf footballs, a badminton birdie, and a gardening trowel.
'badminton birdie' = 'Shuttlecock'
Thank you! I completely blanked on that word.
No dead bodies?
Lol, not this time!
Its in the other bush.
Soft and fluffy... Has he ever touched, or fallen into, a hedge?
Right?
Somewhere on the internet, there’s a cross-section of Kirby that no one should see.
I choose to believe Kirby is more like some kind of sentient jellyfish without bones and holds their shape through air pressure alone like a balloon.
Do his ribs encase his arms?????
OP was right, this was knowledge no human was meant to have.
Some people are nice even on the inside. Plenty aren't but some are.
Tasty, even.
Steady on, Hannibal.
Jacob never rubbed two braincells together about how plants work 😅 Why would it be green on the inside? No sunlight there, while it needs to transport the nutrients between the leaves and the rest of the plant...
And hedges are really not "soft and fluffy".
That person clearly never jumped/fell into one.
Pink on the inside
People are supposed to be green, soft and fluffy?
So, grinch or a green furry.
Of course.
The bald dude behind the table behind her looks like he has seen some shit.
Slime people