this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 150 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

I'm not sure whether I want this to be read by GLADOS or Cave Johnson. Both would deliver the hell out of these lines.

[–] BudgetBandit 67 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It was Cave Johnson for me.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I just read it twice, with both, in my head.

Cave Johnson was funnier.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago

I read it as GLaDOS first and got a little smile, then went back and reread it as Cave Johnson and laughed.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 weeks ago

For Cave, the signoff would be:

I'm Cave Johnson, don't @ me.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Initially I thought Cave Johnson, but the enumeration in the first paragraph seems more of a GLaDOS thing. The rest could go either way. If on the other hand, the enumeration was phrased without "the following regions:", it would be more Cave Johnson.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

The enumerations would work if he's reading it as a press release, probably uncomfortably, and with a few asides to an off-screen character about how he doesn't like it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

With irritated paper-shuffling noises.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

emergency testing initiative voice from the start of P2, just for the maximum level of unpersonness

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

JK Simmons would do this press release proud.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

I think specifically Portal 1 GLADOS.

[–] WhyJiffie 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I prefer the robotic announcer with the fake uplifting, soulless tone.

I'm a little surprised nobody thinks of that

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Corporations supporting pride are canaries in the coalmine. When they stop chirping, you know something is wrong.

Besides, I don't like cynicism. Yeah, most big corps don't give a fuck. And this is what this meme is about. But regular gays work everywhere, and support does make a difference in those places

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it's disturbing to see how in the last few years I've seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Exactly. I fucking hate rainbow capitalism, but it’s disturbing to see how in the last few years I’ve seen less and less rainbow logos and flags.

Well, if the homophobes hate it, and the LGBT people constantly post "I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT" why should they bother anymore?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When LGBT people say, "I SEE THROUGH YOUR BULLSHIT", we're not saying please do even less. We're saying, "please back up your superficial displays with real, meaningful support". Do more, not less!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Jesus, it is the company in Portal. It is a satire

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 3 weeks ago

Can hear Cave Johnson saying that, it's missing an off script line after "your favourite colour of gay"

Cave Johnson standing away from the mic: what do you mean the colour gay? Gays not a colour! It's a rainbow, it's all the colours! Who wrote this script? I want them fired, fire them now!

[–] [email protected] 54 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

“And then, there will be cake.”

[–] [email protected] 63 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

There was cake, just not for you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Lol, this dude didn't find the cake, everyone point and laugh at them!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I prefer to habe cake outside an industrial crematorium

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Your loss, it was a pretty damn good piece of cake.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 3 weeks ago

*parts of North America

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago

Most accurate depiction of corpo pride month attitude.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Some conservative is gonna see this and start a "Boycot Aperture Science" campaign.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

We've both said a lot of things that you're going to regret.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No one plays Portal here? No gamers?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm more of a Black Mesa guy.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Same thing happens at Christmas.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Much more pronounced too. It goes way beyond a few posters and flags. Xmas songs, trees,food etc. It's on everything all over the place. Pride needs to really up its game to get up to Xmas level.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The Safeway here puts up Xmas decorations in September, so does math we’re going to have to start in February…

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago

I saw this or something similar a few years ago.

It's outdated today. Aperture is a defense contractor that wouldn't risk upsetting trump.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Ok but is that voice GLADOS or Cave Johnson?

[–] WhyJiffie 7 points 3 weeks ago

in my head it was the other robotic voice. I think it was used in both portal 1 and 2

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

Definitely Cave Johnson. The tone is disregarding and corporate, GLaDOS would have been insulting and condescending.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah and now that certain companies run the risk of getting flattened into the ground by Trump, only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago

only those companies that actually gave a shit continue to support Pride.

By which you mean only those companies that believe appearing to give a shit will be more profitable than sucking Trump's dick continue to support Pride.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Isn't that's company in Portal (video game)?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Are you telling me that there are companies out there that actually care about the LGBT for real?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

I'll do my own pandering thank you. With a collection of clear virtue signals, a rigorous purity filter and a crew of fanatical moderators.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

You never play Portal?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

He didn't say "Chariots!", so we know it was a Cave Johnson from an alternate universe.

[–] ThrowawayPermanente 5 points 3 weeks ago

I will be so happy for you guys once this gains widespread acceptance

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