Missing the part where it's only the third time you start a conversation with the NPC that they give you the item.
this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Bambieshart's Brocade is the meta weapon for phase fifteen of Gawlsworth the Uncompitten (except on Tuesday)
Yea but does the Jangle booths disemblazen activate the Hortis' claw?
When the lore is harder to follow than the boss's attack patterns
I think this is the leaked script for the elden ring movie that just got announced!
If it were written by an llm trained on only jabberwocky
huh, i guess that's real now. 2025 is something
The jangled skeletons guarding the entrance to Shart’s Hollow have a 1/100 chance of dropping a Putrid Shart Shard. If you combine 12 of them, you can craft a rare opposite-handed Bambieshart Brocade that, when dual wielded, gives a stacked 0.09% boost to critical hits. This strategy is crucial to my main build that is just the two brocades and a Grisly Thong, for aesthetic purposes.
Only works if you’ve achieved maximum intimacy with the Ovipositor Matron in the Moistwood Cleft. You have to let her lay three Sentient Larval Runes into your Shame Socket, then gestate them for two full in-game cycles while restrained in the Gimp Reliquary beneath the Furred Cathedral. Once they hatch, you’ll unlock the Unwashed Cringe-Brocade (Breeder Form).
Wearing it while bound by the Lactating Hex of Eternal Edgeplay grants a passive Dripping Submission buff, which stacks with the Cumshroud Blessing if you’ve already consumed 7 Vialdaddy Essences during the Heat Ritual in Knotwarden's Basin. Add in the Ornate Sphinctmail and Dual-Cursed Knotplugs and you’ll proc Climaxed Reposte on every parry; as long as you're currently flagged as "Egg-Full" or higher.
Absolutely vital for my Dom/Sub switchblade build: twin Brocades, a Gag of Unyielding Praise, and nothing else but raw stamina scaling off my Feral Libido stat.
The crit bonus is negligible, but the squelching footsteps are chef’s kiss.
Damn now I gotta try Elden Ring. I've been looking for this type of game for so long
If you get into it, here are some beginner tips:
Make sure you pick the Drizzled Orphan starting class; best Affinity scaling with Shame and Gape. Immediately sprint past the Tutorial Daddy (DO NOT ENGAGE unless you’ve already triggered your First Estrus) and head straight to the Clamhole Chancel.
There, farm the Moaning Carcass Choir for Lint-Slicked Medallions; equip three to unlock the passive “Lubricated Grace” (grants invincibility frames while edging). Be careful not to trigger the Public Use Covenant too early or you’ll softlock yourself in the Infinite Queueing Chamber with 12 other players trying to cross-milk the same Blessed Glorbkin.
Also, always kneel at the Shrine of Spite before fast-traveling. Doing so guarantees a 3% chance that your next death will cause spontaneous Lactateburst, spraying hostile enemies with Shame Goo and resetting their Lust Thresholds.
Oh, and DON’T consume the Wriggling Ambrosia unless you’re okay being locked into the Oviposition Route and getting railed in every cutscene. Trust me, I learned that the hard way… twice.
About 6 hours in, you should be fully enrolled in the College of Kinked Sorceries and ready to cast Cumvocation of Eldritch Daddy.
Good luck, and remember: don’t spec into dignity, it’s a trap stat.
What a noob, he let the Momeraths outgrabe.
Not enough poison swamps, femboys or bare feet