this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 days ago (8 children)

Also, anything becomes a bizarre sex act if you put a place name in front of an inanimate object.

A Yukon hairdryer.

A Baltimore oilcan.

A Moscow boot lace.

A Nairobi ice cream cone.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A Saskatchewan can opener

The ol' Miami snowshoe

I think you're on to something...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm howling at all of these

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

The Albuquerque Track Shovel

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (3 children)

A Moscow boot lace.

Sex act, or means of dispatching a political rival?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Both. And it involves vodka and a chilled, handcrafted copper mug.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

I did the both commnet before I saw yours.

The handcrafted copper mug makes yours the superior comment. I bow to your perversion.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Latter but while naked so first as well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Why not both?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

That's when you fuck a clone of your own dead dad, but the clone is only 1/16th your dad's actual size.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

In my country, we call that Wednesday.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

https://youtu.be/ykEGtwJuZIs

And this isn't over until one of us gets a 'rusty venture.'

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

Pfui!

That's just a Rangoon artichoke, except with opera gloves and a few extra bowling pins.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Don’t forget the reverse Romanian Wilkinson.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

Reminds me of the time my ex and i tried the San Bernadino Toilet Roll. Good times.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

San Diego thank you

[–] captain_aggravated 1 points 2 days ago

or a crap cocktail.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're all a bunch of delicious fucking people! Just attractive goddamn heroes! I'm fed up with it, you lovable bloody honeys!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

They probably should have specified that the adjectives have negative connotations.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It requires a negative adjective and a neutral-to-negative noun. Which effective boils down to "call them mean things with some curse words in the mix."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

Eh, if the adjective is negative a positive noun still works as a sarcastic insult.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I hope this post is at least 10 years old because it is such a powerful example of 2010s millennial humour

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

I was laughing. Now I feel personally attacked. 😅

You're not wrong tho

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago

It’s even better if the adjective doesn’t mean “bad”, you incandescent fuck burger.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

this is such a stupid fucking post

edit - oops, that's adjective-presentParticiple-noun.

or maybe it's adjective-expletiveAttributive-noun..

fun fact: the term "expletive" is a modern word from the Nixon scandal.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What up you decrepit shit magnets?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Nothing much you designated pussy field.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If they're into people with pussies, this a pretty good compliment. Sounds like a magnetic field that attracts pussy instead of metal etc

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I was testing how robust the formula was by using the first adjective, curse word, and noun that I could see in my immediate environment. I'm not convinced it holds up.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Dutch cursing formula:

Adjective + Adjective + Disease + “Sufferer”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

Big round plague sufferer

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

"Vies vuile kanker leider!"

Of zo iets. Ben niet echt goed met Nederlands meer.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

This seems like the toned down version they give to instructors on Basic.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I personally love "troublesome goddamn elbow"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You're such sn awful shit poster. Wait that came out weird.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This made me realise “you shit shit shit” fits the pattern

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago

same with "you fucking fuck fuck"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Shoutout to my abominable shit goblin homies

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

Maybe not being reblogged is part of the truth you are afraid to face? Just a thought

[–] agamemnonymous 3 points 2 days ago

sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry

As opposed to a shining exemplar of an intolerable ass pastry

[–] Ragdoll_X 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago

Fyi, there's a sequel(!) and it's really cool.