I visited my first psychiatrist this year and told him I have concerns that I was adhd.
I shit you not a fucking Dr of psychiatry told me that was very unlikely because they would've caught it when I was a child.
Fucking moron.
this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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laughs in being born a woman (Obviously, I don't know what your gender is, I'm just speaking generally.)
I understand what you are saying, Drs not believing women is a fucking problem.
Also, particularly for ADHD, women and girls would fall through the cracks as tests were often designed around typical ADHD presentation in boys, because of course it fucking is...
Saw 3 psychologists (one was a student) and they all blew me off because I was an older woman.
Finally got diagnosed two and a half years ago in my early 60's.
What has your experience been like after being diagnosed?
I tried meds right after diagnosis but they messed me up something fierce (awake for 36 hrs, etc). Guess my coping/masking was so ingrained that meds didn't help at all.
Now I'm starting to heal from the burnout but still have issues when there's too many people around (my brain gets overwhelmed).
Thank you for the input!
I didn't get diagnosed until I was just under 30, medication has done wonders for myself since. I don't think my parents had a clue, I was quite smart, if I had medication in my school days I can only wonder what I may have achieved, but I'm a university dropout. Doing okay but I do wonder sometimes.
A questions if I may,
Are you on stimulant or non stimulant meds?
Stimulant, dexedrine is what worked for me. At one point I tried a number others and they didn't seem to work the same, even Adderall wasn't the same but I know it's very similar. Know Vyvanse was another, but know there were a couple other I don't recall. First one was Ritilan but that gave me hives which took me a bit to register why they were happening, well two days but easy enough since it was the new thing.
Thank you for your input. I'm glad you're medication is helping.
unfortunately a lot of people still use the bar of needing to be unable to live a functional life to entertain any sort of treatment. if you've grown up with a life and job, you'll not be taken seriously a lot of the time.
it's a double edged sword. ADHD meds have definitely been over prescribed to a certain degree the past decade or so and docs have been gatekeeping ADHD treatment a bit more these days.
this is what I hear from my wife who is a pediatrician.
It very much felt like he was scared I would get hooked on stimulants
I was diagnosed last year, age 41. I think back to one of my earliest memories, where someone took me out of 2nd grade class to give me tests in some big closet or boiler room. I am convinced I was diagnosed at that time with at least ADHD, but my mom didn't believe in mental health treatments despite desperately needing them herself. She's dead so I can't ask her what those tests were about.
It definitely got less hyperactive and more fogbrain, as I like to call it.
It bothers me that no one acknowledged that this can still be logically true. Of course if most people's ADHD goes away in childhood then it doesn't really logically mean anything to ask "most people you know with ADHD" because by definition, you will only be asking the subset of people for whom that isn't true.
You can't really survey the people for whom ADHD went away in childhood by asking all the people you know with ADHD because the people who would confirm the psychologist's claim are not going to be included in that survey.
True
But it is also be true that the insight "most people loose ADHD by adulthood" is in itself kind of flawed as people can develop coping methods which can mask the ADHD. If there's a significant people complaining/reporting then, it would be something to look into.
People are more open about having adhd into adulthood as compared to in the past where it might have been seen as a childish thing and hence undesirable to report. And not a problem enough to report it to someone who could help with that.
These are assumptions based on personal and shared anecdotes, so I guess you could still argue what you said is right.
Which psychologists are those? A lot of the people I know that have only gone to apsychologist as an adult have been told, "wow did you know you've had ADHD you're whole life," and they're like "omg no but that makes so much sense."
Like I think it's more common to be an adult who doesn't know they have ADHD because they don't go to a psychologist, rather than having been a kid who was told they'd grow out of it by a psychologist, yah know?
I guess my point is this meme creates unnecessary stigma around seeing a psychologist, and you should see one if you think you should.
You just get better at masking the worst effects.
Edit:
The consequences are worse when you’re an adult.
If you miss homework assignments or forget a quiz when you’re a kid and you lose some grade points people give you shit, but if your parents aren’t abusive the consequences aren’t life damaging. People around you keep the guard rails up and try to help you atay pointed in the right direction.
If you’re constantly late for work, don’t get your taxes done, or forget your car registration renewal, these can get you fired or have big financial consequences. There are no guard rails in the adult world, just consequences.
My friend says it got much better as he learned strategies to keep afloat... Then as he got older, into his 40's, work and life got more complicated with harsher consequences for forgotten paperwork or failure to notice time pass... And the number of things demanding attention made sleep and focus harder than ever.
He thinks his strategies just haven't been able to keep up, but thinks things will get better again
Accurate. My wife's got worse. It went in to bloody overdive when perimenopause started.
Mrs. Warp Core is also going through this very thing. Basically the wild hormone swings hit her hard, right in the executive function. ADHD meds helped, but ultimately weren't enough. HRT has helped tremendously. That said, we're now terrified to roll off of that.
Do you mind telling me what age she was? My wife is suffering severely with mental health but will not see a psychiatrist. I suspect perimenopause. She does see a therapist.
It started in the late 40's, which is on the early side.
My wife is suffering severely with mental health but will not see a psychiatrist. I suspect perimenopause. She does see a therapist.
I'm very sorry to hear that; I can appreciate that the struggle for you both has to be very, very real. It's a raw deal and it's hard to manage. I wish you both the very best on this.
What I can share is that finding a good Gyno was instrumental in all this. We went through several practices before we found one that was sympathetic to what was going on. to my complete shock and horror, some seemed far more interested in treating reproduction and reproductive health issues than aging and quality-of-life^1^. Your town might be different than mine, but I suggest that you both be prepared to move around a bit if you can't get support right away. You might find that doctors that are LGBTQ+ friendly as more willing and better equipped to handle this kind of thing.
- I really need someone with an educated background in women's issues to make exact sense of this beyond "this isn't right/fair". I'm way out of my element.
"Psychologist" just means they were able to complete a degree program at all, C's get degrees
Most people tend to develop coping mechanisms that help them pass as non-ADHD individuals, by lowering their standards for what they can achieve in life and by accepting the abnormally high amounts of stress that hiding their ADHD causes them.
Psychologists call this "growing out of ADHD".
“Gifted child, if only they’d apply themselves”, turns into “Average adult, not always reliable and my god have you seen their <thing we ignore because we don’t have the bandwidth> but usually gets things done.”
Well, guess they need to be diagnosed for LBD (Low Bandwidth Disorder).
And then start berating everyone who doesn't care about the small stuff, instead of letting them say that we are "overreacting", just because we realise that, under different conditions, ignoring some of that stuff could cause bigger problems.
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what they mean by that is, "thank god they learned to mask the problem so they stop inconveniencing us"
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Of course it got worse, I have to work now
Turns out that people don't "grow out of" physiological differences in how their prefrontal cortex forms. Who would have thought?! /s
I don't think the ADHD necessarily gets worse, it's more often that the consequences get worse.
I.e. the intensity of the disorder relative to a given set of stimuli doesn't increase, but the average significance of the stimuli (and consequently the outcome of one's reaction to them) does increase.
You could argue that's a meaningless distinction, but perhaps it's a helpful change in perspective for someone.
Realistically, it's utterly dependent on one's life situation.
When you're in school, your main focus is trying to get through school, get home, and not get hassled about keeping up with yourself and your things.
Later on, some jobs, are congruent or even complimentary with symptoms, some jobs aren't. Some partners help compensate, some don't.
It absolutely will get worse for some, better for others. Some may have consequences that are an issue, some may have circumstances that defuse the consequences.
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It can get worse after school because not having a schedule imposed on you means you're left to your own devices and will often focus too much energy towards the wrong endeavors. Building a routine of healthy habits and sticking to it can make a world of difference.
There's also a tendency to experience a diaspora after, or in the immediate years after, school. Say, your mid-20's or so. That's potentially a big chunk of your support network disappearing from your life.
Building a routine of healthy habits and sticking to it can make a world of difference.
Exactly. Those coming to diagnosis and support while young stand a chance to be trained and armed for independence, and an adult life of holding one's self to one's own standards (hopefully). For many of us oldsters, being diagnosed later, or only learning about mindfulness and CBT well past our formative years, it's a huge struggle to cobble together habits and a better mindset.
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