what they mean by that is, "thank god they learned to mask the problem so they stop inconveniencing us"
this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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I visited my first psychiatrist this year and told him I have concerns that I was adhd.
I shit you not a fucking Dr of psychiatry told me that was very unlikely because they would've caught it when I was a child.
Fucking moron.
laughs in being born a woman (Obviously, I don't know what your gender is, I'm just speaking generally.)
I understand what you are saying, Drs not believing women is a fucking problem.
Also, particularly for ADHD, women and girls would fall through the cracks as tests were often designed around typical ADHD presentation in boys, because of course it fucking is...
I didn't get diagnosed until I was just under 30, medication has done wonders for myself since. I don't think my parents had a clue, I was quite smart, if I had medication in my school days I can only wonder what I may have achieved, but I'm a university dropout. Doing okay but I do wonder sometimes.
A questions if I may,
Are you on stimulant or non stimulant meds?
Stimulant, dexedrine is what worked for me. At one point I tried a number others and they didn't seem to work the same, even Adderall wasn't the same but I know it's very similar. Know Vyvanse was another, but know there were a couple other I don't recall. First one was Ritilan but that gave me hives which took me a bit to register why they were happening, well two days but easy enough since it was the new thing.
Thank you for your input. I'm glad you're medication is helping.
Saw 3 psychologists (one was a student) and they all blew me off because I was an older woman.
Finally got diagnosed two and a half years ago in my early 60's.
What has your experience been like after being diagnosed?
I tried meds right after diagnosis but they messed me up something fierce (awake for 36 hrs, etc). Guess my coping/masking was so ingrained that meds didn't help at all.
Now I'm starting to heal from the burnout but still have issues when there's too many people around (my brain gets overwhelmed).
Thank you for the input!
unfortunately a lot of people still use the bar of needing to be unable to live a functional life to entertain any sort of treatment. if you've grown up with a life and job, you'll not be taken seriously a lot of the time.
it's a double edged sword. ADHD meds have definitely been over prescribed to a certain degree the past decade or so and docs have been gatekeeping ADHD treatment a bit more these days.
this is what I hear from my wife who is a pediatrician.
It very much felt like he was scared I would get hooked on stimulants
I was diagnosed last year, age 41. I think back to one of my earliest memories, where someone took me out of 2nd grade class to give me tests in some big closet or boiler room. I am convinced I was diagnosed at that time with at least ADHD, but my mom didn't believe in mental health treatments despite desperately needing them herself. She's dead so I can't ask her what those tests were about.
It definitely got less hyperactive and more fogbrain, as I like to call it.
It bothers me that no one acknowledged that this can still be logically true. Of course if most people's ADHD goes away in childhood then it doesn't really logically mean anything to ask "most people you know with ADHD" because by definition, you will only be asking the subset of people for whom that isn't true.
You can't really survey the people for whom ADHD went away in childhood by asking all the people you know with ADHD because the people who would confirm the psychologist's claim are not going to be included in that survey.
True
But it is also be true that the insight "most people loose ADHD by adulthood" is in itself kind of flawed as people can develop coping methods which can mask the ADHD. If there's a significant people complaining/reporting then, it would be something to look into.
People are more open about having adhd into adulthood as compared to in the past where it might have been seen as a childish thing and hence undesirable to report. And not a problem enough to report it to someone who could help with that.
These are assumptions based on personal and shared anecdotes, so I guess you could still argue what you said is right.
Yeah. I feel like it never bothered me when younger (he's "gifted and mature") but you get screwed later on when you have a 8-5 office job where you sit and stare for 9 hours. I can't focus on boring useless stuff like that. Unfortunately, the alternative is destroy your body doing manual labor to keep moving around. Plus. You make a lot more money sitting and staring at a screen. So just keep it bottled up and pretend you know what you're doing and don't feel like going nuts!
This is kinda why I ended up as a manufacturing engineer. It's technical, well paid, and doesn't require hard physical labor. But I'm constantly "putting out fires" and going to some forgotten corner of the factory to figure out what broke. "Oops sorry I skipped the meeting - the production line was stopped!" Neurotypicals view this chaos as stressful, but it's the only way I can flow through the day without hating my job.
Lucked out big time.
I'm still doing physical labor, but I think neurotypical people would go crazy with my schedule. I don't know what days I'm working sometimes until two days before. I don't even know where in the country I'll be next week. I thrive in the chaos and the physical work, but I can't keep it up forever. Freelance contractor for IT work.
Which psychologists are those? A lot of the people I know that have only gone to apsychologist as an adult have been told, "wow did you know you've had ADHD you're whole life," and they're like "omg no but that makes so much sense."
Like I think it's more common to be an adult who doesn't know they have ADHD because they don't go to a psychologist, rather than having been a kid who was told they'd grow out of it by a psychologist, yah know?
I guess my point is this meme creates unnecessary stigma around seeing a psychologist, and you should see one if you think you should.
You just get better at masking the worst effects.
Edit:
The consequences are worse when you’re an adult.
If you miss homework assignments or forget a quiz when you’re a kid and you lose some grade points people give you shit, but if your parents aren’t abusive the consequences aren’t life damaging. People around you keep the guard rails up and try to help you atay pointed in the right direction.
If you’re constantly late for work, don’t get your taxes done, or forget your car registration renewal, these can get you fired or have big financial consequences. There are no guard rails in the adult world, just consequences.
My friend says it got much better as he learned strategies to keep afloat... Then as he got older, into his 40's, work and life got more complicated with harsher consequences for forgotten paperwork or failure to notice time pass... And the number of things demanding attention made sleep and focus harder than ever.
He thinks his strategies just haven't been able to keep up, but thinks things will get better again
Accurate. My wife's got worse. It went in to bloody overdive when perimenopause started.
Mrs. Warp Core is also going through this very thing. Basically the wild hormone swings hit her hard, right in the executive function. ADHD meds helped, but ultimately weren't enough. HRT has helped tremendously. That said, we're now terrified to roll off of that.
Do you mind telling me what age she was? My wife is suffering severely with mental health but will not see a psychiatrist. I suspect perimenopause. She does see a therapist.
It started in the late 40's, which is on the early side.
My wife is suffering severely with mental health but will not see a psychiatrist. I suspect perimenopause. She does see a therapist.
I'm very sorry to hear that; I can appreciate that the struggle for you both has to be very, very real. It's a raw deal and it's hard to manage. I wish you both the very best on this.
What I can share is that finding a good Gyno was instrumental in all this. We went through several practices before we found one that was sympathetic to what was going on. to my complete shock and horror, some seemed far more interested in treating reproduction and reproductive health issues than aging and quality-of-life^1^. Your town might be different than mine, but I suggest that you both be prepared to move around a bit if you can't get support right away. You might find that doctors that are LGBTQ+ friendly as more willing and better equipped to handle this kind of thing.
- I really need someone with an educated background in women's issues to make exact sense of this beyond "this isn't right/fair". I'm way out of my element.
Hmm I'm sure it's personal for each but me I feel like I didn't outgrow it. More like I overcame it.
"Psychologist" just means they were able to complete a degree program at all, C's get degrees
... when you are medicated
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