this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2025
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And yet, unhitched from the menial task of transportation, the average horse today enjoys a far better quality of life than the average pre-car horse. Why? Horse girls. You see, now that the market demand for horses is no longer based on actual horsepower, horses can render the service of "just being themselves" for those who appreciate that most (in much more forgiving circumstances). In this way, horses truly are forever... and the real losers really are mankind. And its machines. In this essay, I will

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[–] [email protected] 62 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

It doesn't make sense to use automobiles. Imagine having to build out paved roads everywhere and also set up stations along these roads to refuel. Just completely impractical.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Right? It would be so much cheaper if we just used to the reinforcing steel to create thin tracks which we could put much more thermally efficient and eco-friendly wheels onto. In turn, we could carry exceptionally large loads of cargo or people over vast distances for a mere fraction of the cost (monetary) and a fraction of the cost (to the world) by creating long, highly aerodynamic vehicles capable of moving at ridiculously high speeds that would be uncontrollable for the average joe on the road.

Wait, haven't I heard of something like this before?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

But people want the freedom that comes with having a horse. Maybe if we could put horses on the tracks and hook them up to each other.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

God, this image is cool. Very NaissancE, if you've ever played that.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The streets weren't a lot better when they were horse focused

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The physical design was somewhat similar but if you look at old footage from cities you'll see that walking on the street was completely normal.

There didn't yet exist this idea that we have to leave 80% of the street exclusively for cars.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

That's rape horse from Berserk

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

I didn't clock it at first but yes exactly

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Would you like to making colt BERSERKER

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Equestrians are now free from menial labor and can focus on their Only Horse accounts.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Did you have to säy this shit

[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Fun fact, there are more domesticated horses now then there were at the hight of horses being used as transportation. I found this out when a reporter asked Jay Leno, an avid classic car collector, if he was upset about the CA law that makes only EVs legal to sell as new cars in CA by a certain date. He said he totally approved of the measure, and that there was nothing to worry about for classic car collectors, and citing horse ownership rates.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey I've been searching for solid stats about this. Are you sure? Because there used to be a lot of hotses!

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, but there are a lot of neglected emaciated horses from people that shouldn't have horses.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

Cars are just a scam made up by Big Horse to sell more horsepower without actually selling any horses

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hello, I am an internal combustion car. I can't go very fast unless the road is all paved, or very far unless you spend billions bringing fuel from thousand of kilometers to feed me. And if you drive me, people will think you're NOT gay!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

if you drive me, people will think you're NOT gay!

Time for me to get a horse.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fuck your Subaru I've a horse outside

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Who cares what time it is, I have a Rolex.

[–] mutual_ayed 8 points 2 weeks ago

Nobody drives in NYC there's too much traffic

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There are articles from before the automobile discussing the pollution problems with horses. Apparently horses poop, a lot.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Horses, the original automatic braking

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Self driving, too, provided you want to go where the horse wants to go.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If cars are better than horses, why do horses still exist? Checkmate evolutionist

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

Just because cars evolved from horses doesn't mean horses stop existing, only a portion of the horse population spilt off and evolved into cars

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

Mr. Hands enters the chat.....

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

You can't even eat your car if it died or if you are hungry!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

In Italy we eat horses, so they are also farmed for food. I bet all the horses that end up on a slice of bread or a pizza would rather have pulled a carriage. Still they are a much less popular meat, I don't think horse farming is as bad as, say, pig farming, (for the horse I mean) because there's much less demand. "Frayed threads" (lack of better translation) of horse are pretty good with olive oil btw.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Horses are superior. When your car break down, you'll starve to death. Horses, however... 😋

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

have already starved to death because there's no food available within 5 standard miles, they tripped over a curb and broke their leg, and some shady looking feller keeps hanging around in the creek back yonder that looks at them shifty...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can you milk your car while breeding a new one?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Time to try

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

"Horses Are Forever" is also the poorly received first draft of Sean Connery's final Eon-produced James Bond movie.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

This literally happened to my great grandfather in the late 1920s. He bought a car, got distracted by the sight of a pretty lady, and drove into a swamp. He was yelling "whoa! whoa!" and pulling back on the steering wheel while the car went off the road. That is what he had done his whole life to stop a horse drawn buggy in an emergency. He told my grandfather, who was riding with him at the time, that he could have the car if he could get it out of the swamp. He said he was going back to his horse and buggy because a horse wouldn't have run off the road into a swamp no matter what he looked at. He continued to use a horse and buggy for all of his transportation needs until he died in the mid 1960s. #FuckCars

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

When your drunk, horse drives you home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bro there is LITERALLY an anime about horse girls

Humanity won

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Horses are only fast because of the shape of their four long legs. You can't just give someone a carrot and long ears and expect them to be a horse. That just makes them a cat rabbit.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

They have god-damned tails and superhuman strength for some reason

We won, but at what cost?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And they might come with their own included "truck nuts"

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Just wait a few years and it'll come true.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

What are you going to do, just destroy an entire farrier industry? Think of the economy we can't build roads to other cities when we need to take care of .

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