Not reciprocating puts you on the naughty list
this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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It’s been 23 years since Santa last gave me a gift. A real gift inspired by love and warmth, not a lump of carbon attached to words of disdain. It was camp that ruined his view of me. Back when I was too young to be anything but selfish.
His snowflake-shaped note reads the same every year: “oral goes both ways.” Santa is progressive, that way. For a man nearly two millennia old.
I’ve finally decided to fix what I left unfinished. It took some facebooking, some emailing, and plenty of legwork, but I’m finally here.
I approach the weathered blue door and rap my knuckles against its soft, compressible surface. I only had to wait a moment before an eye peered through the space between the door and its frame. I clear my throat before finding my voice. “Hey councilor Steve.”
Jokes on you. He only sees you when you’re sleeping.
Yeah but he also knows when you’re awake so checkmate liberal.
He knows when I’m awake because he can’t see me anymore.
Bit early with the Christmas memes... Unless of course you are a bot!
Do you think Santa only watches during Christmas?
The n in your name is a few characters too far to the right
I'm not sure that's an either / or situation.
You're nass.