this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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[–] [email protected] 40 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

This is such a dangerous stereotype. Yes honkwiching used to use trombones, but now most musicians use specially-designed, food-safe disposable honkers. Trombone players aren't savages.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Um, actually the proper name is Tromboner...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 14 hours ago

I prefer "sackbut."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Legit wondering if this is the "Dead Internet" in action and we're seeing bots just spout human-sounding reddit-like banter at each other. O.o

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

if these are just bots then they're pretty funny and clever and hot

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Hot. Almost spilled my beer.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Or maybe there's a niche honkwiching community that suddenly feels seen, and we all came to this comment section to wax nostalgic about our favorite feeding activity

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah, has that dude even been in a band? Honkwinching is one of the best parts of being in a band.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Ska was invented so that poor punk bands could finally get some food

(I know the actual history of ska, don't @ me)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

In ska they call that Skankwiching.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 46 points 20 hours ago (5 children)

Then how does the string section feed? Or is this the technique for all members of the orchestra? Communal trombones for all.

[–] ProstheticBrain 67 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

The string section are scavengers, they'll wait for a poorly aimed honkwitch to land amongst them, then descend as a pack.

The spoils are divided up hierarchically, first violin always eats first.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It's why strings are typically smaller people than the horn section too. Place a tuba player next to a violinist and the tuba player is always bigger.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago

Evolution at its finest

[–] [email protected] 24 points 19 hours ago

You use a mandolin to slice cheese and meats.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 20 hours ago

You fire off the sandwich using the strings like a bow and arrow, loony tunes style.

The rosin is a bit of an acquired taste; I prefer the dark rosin.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

The string section is responsible for slicing the sandwiches into finger-sized snacks so that the floutists and other woodwinds may also join in the honkwich fun. Simply slide the honkwich between the fingerboard and the strings and then press down.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago

The real reason people learn to play slap bass...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 16 hours ago

Cheese.

...you know which kind.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago

I have such great memories of my mom giving me a good honkwhich. I would come home from school and she would feed me like a baby penguin. I felt so safe and secure, frankly I feel bad for the underprivileged youths who don't get to have a honkwich.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 16 hours ago (3 children)

I feel like I’m ootl… wtf is “honkwiching”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

It's basically sandwich huffing for boners

[–] [email protected] 19 points 16 hours ago

It was defined in the post.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago

What you're telling me you've never honkwiched?

[–] ScrambledLogic 13 points 19 hours ago (3 children)

Can confirm, was a 'bone half a lifetime ago.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I was made section leader for the trombones in marching band so i made everyone call me "The Mayor of Bonerville" for a semester.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago

Thank you for your service.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago

Hello fellow former sackbut.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 18 hours ago

Yeah, any tromboner worth their salt is able to propel a standard issue PB&J at least 1 meter up into the air. Only those in training use a chair to feed the tubas.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

A few years ago it was a meme that musicians were savages desperate for food haha

[–] [email protected] 6 points 18 hours ago

Musicians have always been savages desperate for food

[–] southsamurai 5 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Well, yeah, have you ever been around a band? Drummers in particular are going to say they're going to the bathroom, but then you find that entire cheese drawer empty.

And don't get me started on guitarists filching the sugary cereal. Or bassists and their jonesing for bologna.

But singers? Jfc, you won't have any honey, canned beans, or marmite left.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 13 hours ago

I play multiple instruments, so I can get all the snacks